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How exactly does masturbating prevent you from military service?
It makes you go blind.
It makes your hand pregnant
Perrganent? Preganté?
Gregnant
How is babby formed?
Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!
This is just a poor translation. It’s a colloquialism to say you’re jacking off when you’re lazy and doing nothing. In fact, it’s the same colloquialism in English. We literally say the exactly same thing when we call someone useless. What’s really interesting in my opinion is you already know this. Yet because it’s from a translation and you know that, your brain didn’t think about the colloquialisms. It’s kind of crazy how our brains work.
That’s boring tho lets go with the masturbation jokes
I’m aware of the colloquialism but I also thought that this is something Chinese party officials might plausibly say. You know, something something Western decadence.
I thought the same. Isn’t the party kind of anti porn?
Decadence isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe masturbation.
Sex shouldn’t be for fun. It is work for procreation of the superior culture. That time jacking off could have been spent contributing to the GDP.
+100 social credit
Are you a CPC official?
When the mortar tube is clogged with cum…
And that’s how you learned the company Fleshlight has a hole in the back.
Post-nut clarity makes you realize what a bad idea joining the military would be.
After a good fap I realised that this is the most plausible explanation.
Hold on, I’m almost there.
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When they won’t get their dicks out of their hands in formation, it’s very distracting for others.
Something something male essence
I don’t avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence
WW3 is gonna be a 5v5 on de_dust2
Heeeeey. There might be a role for me after all.
I want it in Source at 800x600 on my end. CRT please.
I know we just met but I feel very confident leaving the fate of the free world in your hands. Just cool it with the warcrimes okay, all that teabagging is going land you in the Hague.
It’s Denmark’s war to lose then
The Astralis esports team basically turns into Delta Force in this scenario.
TF2 and they all pootis, POW!! Each other till everyone’s dead
Nah, on de_Vertigo.
If you die in the game, you die in real life
The body cannot live without the mind
Wait I have to stop touching myself in order to successed in the fitness test?
Absolutely not, just only do it while at the gym.
Yeah pass.
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Rules 5 and 6
I don’t care about how much you dislike capitalism, that doesn’t belong in here. Also this is NCD, we love war.
I did my part by being born with a sensory disability. Mind you I’m also too mentally ill to enlist…
I WILL get myself addicted if a draft gets instated. My family has a predisposition towards addiction, and my life would be ruined either way.
I don’t know the statistics but survival chances for addicts might be actually better than for soldiers in active combat
Based on all the Arma footage already in the news I thought this was always the plan…
We did it! Capitalism saved the planet from WWIII!
Now we just tidy up a bit…
Sitting up? Check out these gym rats…
What on earth is going on with that helicopter?
Mad lad hanging from the rotor blades
She put the burger on the gd floor like damn bich you know we got plates right?
They come wrapped in the plate ffs.
It’s bothering me thinking of how you would eat that. Maybe you cut it like a wedding cake and serve slices.
Burger’s big enough there might actually be a plate under there somewhere.
Selfish bastard didn’t get milady any milk
“The enemy cannot push a button, if you disable his hand!”
- Sergeant Zim
Someday war will be… in a cup!
sweats in Cloud9
