I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.
Making quiche for brunch. Apparently an omelet is fine, but a scrambled omelette is gay.
Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
Not judging, but that is definitely gay.
Only if he gets a boner
Only if they kiss afterwards.
What if the kiss is just kissing the homies goodnight?
It’s not gay as long as the kiss is only 1/4" of tongue or less.
Put away the D, wait 10 mins and you’re good.
Sounds like a happy experience all round.
Just pretend he’s a woman.
I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.
I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍
Washing your asshole… Seriously dudes, wash it anyway
And up to the first knuckle, you don’t have to jam soap up there but wash your nasty ass if you expect anyone to not gag when they get near your crotch.
Some of yall are nasty.
Yeah this is still astonishing to me as a guy. Why is basic hygiene gay?
Yes, why would you expect anyone to stuff something up there if you’re not going to at least keep it clean!?
Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.
Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on
Yeah, you don’t have to be gay just to be able to admire art.
I went roller blading on the boardwalk along the beach during the pandemic and got called gay
It wasn’t your skates that did it; it was your crop top and hotpants. j/k
Well are you? I don’t see any proof you’re trying to deny it.
I haven’t thought about this in like 20 years but when I was in middle school late 90s some kid had an album where one of the songs was titled “You Rollerblading (f-slur)” and I remember thinking it was the worst music I had heard in my life. 90% sure it was grindcore music, I didn’t know what grindcore was at the time but my memory of the sound kind of fits that mold and the album had like fifty tracks and every single one of them was like 10-15 seconds long.
I suspected this was an Anal Cunt track by the title and looking it up proved my suspicions correct.
Looking at this now, you are correct, and while I wasn’t proud of myself for having thought the song titles were funny, I feel a bit more embarrassed now than I did two minutes ago before looking it up. Edgy teenagers were clearly this band’s target audience.
I found out about them during the Napster/Kazaa era looking for 311 songs and their song “311 sucks” came up. I thought it was funny, then again, I was an edgy teenager at that time.
Suck dick
Wearing a chain.
Chain necklace? Gay
Chain bracelet? Gay
Chain wallet? Also Gay
Chain mail. Well now you’re a dork. And also Gay
I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.
Once I was at a hotel bar with colleagues and we were hanging out in some lounge area. The waitress asked if we wanted drinks, so I ordered a margarita.
Then they made fun of me for it. Like, what the hell does it matter what drink I have.
When I was younger I’ve definitely made fun of friends who order “girly” drinks, and have in turn been made fun of when I do it. It’s pretty standard among males in my generation (X) and older. Usually happens when everyone else in your group is ordering “manly” drinks like beer or hard liquor.
It doesn’t even have to be something like a cosmopolitan, it could be a gin & tonic, or rum and coke. If they’re all drinking bourbon on the rocks and you order something even slightly less strong, you’re going to hear about it.
Then there’s the times where the first guy orders a beer, then the next guy has to trump him with a run and coke, then the next guy gets a whiskey on the rocks, so then it gets one upped with a whiskey neat. Next thing you know we’re smoking crack in the alley. Just kidding about that last one, but you get the idea. We thought we were being macho, but we were idiots in our early 20s, so shrug
As a kid I was told if you eat scrambled eggs for dinner you are gay. It affected me longer than I care to admit.
Remember to stay away from goat cheese too, it will give you saggy balls! I have this on good authority from a kid back in first grade and have since had a restrained relationship with goat cheese.
What possibly was the logic here?
You know sometimes when I eat eggs after noon I start to wonder…
Handing out homemade candy in one of my upper level college courses.
As a fellow crafty, cooking, mostly straight dude, I’m sorry to hear people calling your generosity and thoughtfulness “gay.”
mostly
I’m not into dudes, just their dicks.
Wipe your ass.
One time in high school, I heard somebody yell “Steve, you [bundle of sticks], stop talking to your girlfriend and let’s go!” and Steve was in fact at the time talking to his girlfriend.
The sheer concentration of cognitive dissonance has stuck with me to this day.
I do this as a joke with basically all of my friends who are in hetero relationships.
“I’m gonna spend the evening with the wife and kids, sorry.”
“Gay!”
Listening to metal music with female singers, on two separate occasions. The first was Planet Hell by Nightwish (from the End of an Era concert), and the second one was either Eluveitie or Dalriada.
I got called gay back in high school for listening to Brackish by Kittie. Never understood that one.
Really?! That was the second cd i bought. Still love that album. How the hell does liking hot metal chicks gay?!
Tarja-era Nightwish is so good.
