Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Matthew 24:36.
RTFM, noob.
“Read The Fisherman Matthew”?
Read the fucking moom
Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?
Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!
RTFB
It’s almost 9pm where I am and there’s no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.
Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.
Maybe that’s been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.
It’s currently September 19th
Dude, you’re already part god. You don’t get to be raptured.
I also don’t want to go to work
Good news: you don’t have to! You may end up losing your job and eating out of a dumpster, but you don’t have to.
Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.
9-18-249-19-249-20-249-21-249-22-24I mean…if they keep this up they will be right eventually…right?
Like my wife, every day for 17 years, “That tree is going to fall down.”
Tree falls down.
“I told you so.”
They were always right about the date. They just were wrong about what Jesus is looking for.
I MISSED IT!?
No, they neglected to put the first part of the year, it’s happening in 2124.
Whew ok… Just 100 more years and I can learn to rap
It’s true. I’m getting raptured right n
Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.
Okay, you got me, I’m still stuck here with all of you heretics
Liar! Sinner! You should be raptured immediately!
I think the “good people” are the ones who get raptured, but I’m really not sure.
….demon!
It’s probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.
Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.
It all makes sense!
JESUS IS THE RAPTURE
COMING WILL HAPPEN ON 9-18-24
sigh… if you insist
JESUS IS A RAPTOR
This image is stained on my occipital lobe
Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!
It’s your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I’m sure as shit not getting raptured.
Great Scott! I was so busy packing, I forgot about the dog! Quick! What are your rates! Nevermind - here’s my bank info - I won’t need money anymore!!
No worries, friend - doggos to the left, wallets to the right - peace be with you and whatnot!
Oh, shit, I’m still here… Can I have my wallet and dog back please?!?
I’m not going to steal your dog, but refunds are unavailable in the event that the rapture or your participation in it is cancelled - sorry.
Jesus. Obvs.
Not again
Afraid so. Hope you enjoy the great snatch.
From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.
What happens if you have a Sinful Thought during “The Great Snatch”? Do you get un-Snatched? What if you immediately Repent? Do you get Snatched again? Will there be people bouncing back and forth indefinitely?
Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?
We should sell tickets.
so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god’ll change it?
what if I make a website that just says “the rapture will be [current date +1]”
checkmate?
Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?
