In the hours following former President Donald Trump’s election victory, Google searches related to 4B — a fringe South Korean feminist movement that made a name for itself in the mid to late 2010s — surged in the United States.

  • njm1314@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    56
    arrow-down
    7
    ·
    13 days ago

    Judging from all the hurt feelings and angry defensiveness I’m seeing in this thread this might be an extremely effective form of protest. Fragile toxic masculinity is so predictable.

    • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      17
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      13 days ago

      You can tell a protest is working when it causes people to elect the people you’re protesting against

        • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          9
          arrow-down
          12
          ·
          edit-2
          13 days ago

          No, I have good reading comprehension relative to the average American. Do you want to try to explain to me how a protest that specifically targets progressive men is an effective way to get men to be more progressive?

          “Just don’t be a bad guy and you won’t be the target!” This movement makes no distinction between conservative and progressive men, it is explicitly about absolute denial of sex, dating, marriage, and children.

          Don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% in favor of women not dating conservative men if they don’t want to. A movement that draws attention to the fact that women have the option of breaking up with their boyfriends and divorcing their husbands would be fantastic. A movement that specifically tries to deny relationships to the people that you’re trying to deradicalize is not that.

          But go ahead and keep downvoting me. I’m trying to explain how we need to avoid losing more voters, and you’re sitting there repeating the same shit that lost us those voters in the first place.

          • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            8
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            12 days ago

            If you truly want to understand the nature of this protest, it’s important to understand where women are coming from with this.

            No matter one’s sex or gender, the dating process can be exhausting. Guys are exhausted from always making the first move and getting nowhere for the effort. Women are exhausted from sorting through all the men and messages, most of whom show zero interest in her as a person. Cis-men don’t see the regular dehumanization and sexualization that all women experience upon entry to the dating scene.

            On dating apps, so, so many guys will ignore profiles and send low effort messages like, “Ur pretty. Wanna hook up?” Checking messages can elicit the same feeling you’d get from clearing out your spam folder one email at a time… except each spam message expects you to suck its dick. Some even threaten violence if rejected. When women leave dating sites and dating scenes, that’s the male behavior they’re opting to escape from.

            Now we also have (or are bracing to have) our reproductive rights taken away. We see the stories of pregnant women being denied care, suffering, and dying. We don’t want to become a reproductive rights martyr just because a condom broke.

            This protest may have a consequence that men don’t like, but expecting women to give in just so progressive men can get laid ignores the issues that sparked this protest in the first place.

            It tells us everything. It says you don’t understand what we’re going through. It says you don’t care what we’re going through. It says you think your desire to have sex is worth more than our very lives.

            In a way, you’re proving these women right. If your attitude is reflective of other so-called “progressive” men, then I can’t blame any woman who chooses to have nothing to do with any men at all.

            • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              12 days ago

              It tells us everything. It says you don’t understand what we’re going through. It says you don’t care what we’re going through. It says you think your desire to have sex is worth more than our very lives.

              I was with you right up until this point. My single status has no effect on my political beliefs, and I’m going to keep voting in favor of your rights, no matter how much you try to tell me that I don’t care about you.

              I’m entirely in favor of women exercising bodily autonomy. As a movement for protecting women, this is great. As a movement for affecting political change, this is not. Sell it as the former, and I’m in favor. Sell it as the latter, and I’m going to argue.

              • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                12 days ago

                There are more goals than some grand, over-arching “change.” On an extremely basic, self-preserving level, there is a goal of “not getting pregnant while living in a country that actively endangers the lives of pregnant women.”

                If it brings about change that would be awesome. But regardless of that, by swearing off relationships and sex, we’re still not getting pregnant. Ergo, we are able to keep our bodily autonomy. Which, I guess I have to remind you, we would lose if we got pregnant.

                Unless (non-sterilize) progressive men have some special sperm that doesn’t attempt to fertilize an egg, creating an exception based on beliefs would still put our lives at risk.

                • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  12 days ago

                  Did you read the part where I said

                  I’m entirely in favor of women exercising bodily autonomy. As a movement for protecting women, this is great.

                  ?

      • Valmond@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        12 days ago

        Now that’s someone I’d vote for!

        It’s tiering all these boys who “I don’t want to” behave.

    • HowManyNimons@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      12 days ago

      Bros here think they’re making solid points, but all I hear is “wah wah wah”. You hashtag notAllMen out there with dry stalks need to do a better job of challenging the misogynistic attitudes of your peers.

    • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      7
      ·
      edit-2
      12 days ago

      extremely effective form of protest

      …i honestly dont think it’s going to achieve anything and it certainly won’t undo the election result

      I mean you could go the opposite route and do a FWB style approach to votes in the next election. If withholding sex is the stick, what’s the carrot? Offering sex?

      A decent proportion of votes for trump were protest votes and a disproportionate amount were young men. Why not invest the effort in understanding why it is they feel that the Republican party offers them something that the democratic party does not?

      • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        12 days ago

        Wow, what an amazing ally to women you are. You are totally willing to just use our bodies and vaginas for your own goals, just like that, huh?

        Well, what’s stopping you? You have two holes and two hands, presumably. Get to work buying votes. Plenty of conservative men like men. Download Grinder and you can start tonight. Stay safe.

        • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          12 days ago

          Swing and a miss mate, can’t threaten me with a good time.

          I live in Australia, voting is compulsory, women don’t have to withhold sex in order to foment political change.

          You didn’t answer my question tho, what’s stopping you from understanding why young men in the us voted for trump? Especially young men who would “normally” vote democrat?

          • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            4
            ·
            edit-2
            12 days ago

            what’s stopping you from understanding why young men in the us voted for trump? Especially young men who would “normally” vote democrat?

            Lmfao go fuck yourself. It’s YOU who doesn’t understand, ya fucking gender narcissist. I’m not automatically wrong because I’m a woman.

            The reason men are moving rightwards is because of the global war we are already in. Russia has been making, disseminating, AND FUNDING VIA CRYPTO, right wing men and voices all over the world. They’ve done this en masse, all over every social media and video game, in Minecraft servers even. There are KGB books describing how they would go after divisions in America to create a civil war. They went after our military fighting force to cripple us with a civil war while they start WW3. The rush of superhero media after 9/11 and Call of Duty/military online games was a perfect breeding ground for this.

            Russia is working with Saudi Arabia and Elon Musk to destroy journalism so we can’t communicate what’s happening. Since Khashoggi and the Panama Papers.

            Trump is a Russian asset literally proven in court. It’s entirely possible he will start a civil war here soon. He will absolutely be siphoning money from the US to Russia. And we will be sending bodies to fight Russia’s wars too. Russian revenge is about to start. Trump will start to go after his enemies, likely Biden, Hilary, Obama, Taylor Swift, Kamala. All of those people should literally flee the country on Jan 20th and wait to come back until he’s not in office.

            He’s under Putin’s control and look at what mercy Putin had for Navalny. Putin is going to get revenge on America and soon Germany and any other nation he feels justified in harming.

            How do you all not see that? And then blame WOMEN? For an active hostile military propaganda campaign by a hostile nation?

            Yeah ofc we don’t want to fuck men anymore. And yes, they would’ve have just gotten worse anyway because we were never the original cause, quite obviously.

            Politically, we are asserting our rights to our bodies. It’s a profound political statement that already has men ITT discussing and debating, but ultimately the most important part is that women are asserting the power they have over their bodies. Only in a fascist state is that political or controversial.

            But yeah it’s totally women’s fault men are going to get worse and that’s not just an excuse to abuse women more and blame them for it /s

            • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              12 days ago

              Oh wow

              I am conflicted, halfway between genuine concern for you as a human being and being completely unsurprised at six paras of unhinged ramblings.

              Suffice to say - this only exists in your head, and there’s a reason you’re finding it hard to build meaningful relationships.

              Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.

              • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                12 days ago

                Lol do you want sources? Books? A book might be too much material for ypu though if you struggle with a few paragraphs. There’s a documentary called Active Measures with John McCain and Hilary Clinton that shows these ties, that could be more of your pace.

                It started with 4chan and bitcoin. I always wondered how the dumbest people I ever knew, literal meth addicts without teeth who can’t explain what a stock is, could do well at crypto, an obvious scam. Well, it wasn’t a scam, it was UBI for rightwing movements and pedophiles and the worst of society.

                Memecoins are still doing it. That’s why they are there and named stuff like “Trump Maga.” They are funneling money around, and crypto is especially ideal for transferring money between countries.

                I’m not writing that last part for you, it’s clear you refuse to learn anything from a woman. Sad for you, good luck when the right wingers take over AUS the same way they got us. And I do indeed know this is happening over there too, the women over there talk about it and 4B a lot. So it very well may become your problem soon too.

  • grue@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    42
    arrow-down
    9
    ·
    13 days ago

    A message to my fellow guys: if you dislike this, guess what: it’s real easy to stop being the target of it. All you have to do is quit being a misogynistic, authoritarian piece of shit.

    • cmbabul@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      13 days ago

      For real, it’s astounding(not really) how much women appreciate not being treated and viewed like they are things to be owned and controlled

    • CptEnder@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      13 days ago

      Yeah honestly as a guy I’m all for it. I absolutely do not blame women who do not want to have sex when they’re treated like 2nd class citizens who’s bodies are controlled by old, creepy men in Congress.

    • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      13 days ago

      Respectfully, this isn’t on dudes.

      Four and eight years ago young men overwhelmingly supported Bernie Sanders, and they were ridiculed for it. Dems even made up an epithet for it: Bernie Bros.

      The perspective you’re showing in this reply is why Republicans won. You can’t make it very clear you don’t want young men to vote for you and then be surprised when they don’t.

  • Revonult@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    13 days ago

    I don’t really get this because anyone participating in this is left enough that they probably wouldn’t want to date a misogynistic, right wing men.

    Maybe I am too man to understand but hoping to get a better perspective.

    Edit: After thinking about this I could see how the movement could help encourage woman out of these toxic relationships and empower them to live without a man.

    • tburkhol@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      13 days ago

      Yeah, my niece, who is generally a worldly, progressive person, was talking about this guy whom she’s not ready to call ‘boyfriend’ yet, and part of that description was, “he’s, like, super into Hitler.”

      Doesn’t that seem like kind of a red flag? ??

      • PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        13 days ago

        My wife accidentally dated a white supremacist before we met. She’s not even white. She found out like six months into their relationship, when she stumbled upon a tumblr post about white power dogwhistles and immediately recognized like four of his most prominent tattoos. He even got one of them after they had started dating.

        She initially dismissed it as a coincidence, until she saw the same tats on a lot of his friends. Some women will try to excuse a lot of red flags if they’re not directed at her specifically.

  • JaggedRobotPubes@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    20
    ·
    12 days ago

    Which ironically is a top climate change helper. One silicon valley baby is worth half a damn African village in terms of carbon footprint.

    It’s the affluent, highly-educated, well-off women (by world standards) who have the biggest effect by having fewer children.

    Plus, a whole category of nazi bullshut dodged, the original point.

  • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    edit-2
    13 days ago

    “Lysistrata” is a 2400 year-old play about the women of Greece ending the Peloponnesian Wars by withholding sex.

    If it’s good for the Greeks…

  • cordlesslamp6891@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    12 days ago

    As a man, I’m support this movement. Mainly because we don’t need more people on this crowded miserable planet. 7 billions is more than enough, preferably 3-4 billions.

  • Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    edit-2
    12 days ago

    Whatever “power that be” is attacking all the pillars that uphold good democratic societies. It started with Government moved to Science then Medicine, and Media, it attacked trust in Police and Courts. It has been systematic.

    I knew relationships between men and women should be in there since it is such a major part of keeping a society running but I never knew how it would get attacked. Honestly never thought it could. Lately its been obvious reading some places online like where the whole idea of marriage is treated like a dessert and where people gather to describe every ick imaginable while demanding that its members deserve only the best most succulent desserts.

    There’s a total break down of society and I don’t think its just natural. I fully believe there’s some paradigm shift going on and this is all the groundwork for it.

    • Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      12 days ago

      I thought this was common knowledge that the elites waged a culture war after occupy Wall Street.

      What is unfortunate is that their strategy sinks the very ship they sit on top of.

    • Hackworth@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      12 days ago

      I dunno about it being unnatural. It’s in our nature to destroy ourselves. [/Arnie accent] But I don’t doubt that there are powers stoking that fire, hoping that if they accelerate collapse in a particular way, they can come out on top. Eat the most futures, and you may prolong your present. [Insert Saturn Devouring His Son]

  • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    13 days ago

    Careful. The Trad Wives were already planning on out competing progressives for their upcoming… “culture war”. We risk Idiocracy scenario.

  • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    13 days ago

    More women voted for Harris, but there was still a giant number of women who voted for Trump. The women who voted for him won’t do this and the women who didn’t vote for him wouldn’t have dated been who did anyway.

    • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      13 days ago

      You’re really missing the point if you think this is about who a man voted for, and not about a woman not wanting to risk her life because any fuckwad stealthed her or even accidentally got her pregnant. Misogyny and sexual crimes do not follow party lines, they are pervasive throughout society, and the fewer choices women have, the more we will protect ourselves.

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        13 days ago

        Hey, I’m completely on board with the fight. I 100% believe no one but the person and their doctor should be involved in any healthcare decisions, and I’m an advocate for women. I just think that this particular approach will accomplish nothing. The only people it will impact are the people who are already like-minded.

  • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    13 days ago

    Gen-X men got him elected. As a white man in his 40s, I’m disgusted. After moving out of the city, I just can’t converse with most of the white men my age. The majority of my friends are now younger than me or POC.

    • darkdemize@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      13 days ago

      It’s my understanding that a lot of Gen-Z men backed Trump as well. Can’t say I understand the appeal he has to the younger crowd.

        • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          0
          ·
          13 days ago

          This is of the people who voted. I wouldn’t be surprised if the non voting population was a significant number.

          • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            13 days ago

            Absolutely, tens of millions easily.

            That’s what happens when, no matter who gets elected, your life gets worse. You decide not to miss out on a badly-needed day’s pay in order to vote for someone who treats you like dog poo under their boot.

      • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        13 days ago

        The appeal was that Harris represented a status quo that has people working 2-3 jobs for the privilege of being unable to afford living in the US, and for Gen Z’ers, it also meant a status quo that has them permanently indebted.

        And she spent two months insisting that people should be joyful about it. I said it back in June. Trump could win because he doesn’t have to lie about how hard Biden’s presidency has affected the middle class and the poor, and people who don’t like him won’t care about his social policies because he will represent the candidate of change.

        Also, don’t come at me. I voted Green in a deep red state.

        • Hackworth@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          13 days ago

          I’m not here to come at you, but do you really think Biden is the reason times are hard? When they managed to get $170,000,000,000 of student debt forgiven, and the Republicans blocked an additional $430,000,000,000, that didn’t stick with people?

          • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            13 days ago

            Yes, I do.

            Biden has made hundreds of millions appear out of thin air for war, and very little appear out of thin air for American suffering. I agree with you that the limited debt cancellation was a huge thing, and I’m glad he did it. I personally know someone who had $200,000 forgiven, and I’m grateful for that.

            But it’s undeniable that Democrats didn’t follow through on their mandate for change under Biden.

            • Hackworth@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              6
              ·
              13 days ago

              I feel like I need to point out that student loan forgiveness was in the hundreds of billions and was the most direct thing they could do to actually help longterm… since medical reform is apparently a non-starter per Obama’s efforts. Climate change will continue to make everything worse, but I guess we can try to artificially prop things up to delay and worsen externalities coming home to roost. /shrug

            • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              6
              ·
              13 days ago

              Biden has made hundreds of millions appear out of thin air for war

              Has he, or has he made hundreds of millions worth of 30 year old explosives and drones disappear? This is genuinely why we lost. People read a headline like “Biden sends multi-million dollar aid package to [foreign country]” and think he sent someone over with a fucking duffel bag full of hundred dollar bills. I see the same complaints about space exploration. It’s depressing.

      • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        11
        ·
        edit-2
        13 days ago

        Can’t say I understand the appeal he has to the younger crowd

        Perhaps some introspection is in order. If feminists can’t figure out how to coexist with others, without turning everything into a battle, then they’re ultimately going to prove to the world that they have no business at all being anywhere near power. Frankly, women have been given a great deal of autonomy in western civilization recently, and have set themselves to the task of burning everything down. It’s not at all a good look, and how the younger generation sees you should be a wake up call.

        • magiccupcake@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          13 days ago

          Feminists are not the one aggressively turning men into this. It’s toxic masculinity types like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, and Joe Rogan.

            • Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              7
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              13 days ago

              The scary feminists are turning men into douchebags not the notable douchebags with a platform spewing hate, sure buddy.

        • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          ·
          13 days ago

          If feminists can’t figure out how to coexist with others, without turning everything into a battle, then they’re ultimately going to prove to the world that they have no business at all being anywhere near power.

          If thats your logic, when are men going to apologize for WWI and WWII? How about an apology for the Holomodor? Are these the evidence you’re using to show that men deserve to be in power?

          Frankly, women have been given a great deal of autonomy in western civilization recently, and have set themselves to the task of burning everything down.

          Oh? Which part of men’s bodies are women given legal power to control?

          BTW, I’m a dude, I’m just not deluded enough to think that my genitals make me smarter that people with other genitals.

          • JayleneSlide@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            0
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            13 days ago

            Am cis-male. And I guarantee you my genitals absolutely make me way dumber than other genital types. 😆 I could fill a novel with data points of my genitally-enabled stupidity.

          • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            8
            ·
            edit-2
            13 days ago

            It is when you’re still so deep inside the system mentally that you require products to facilitate your lifestyle. If you want to know how to be free without relying upon society to grant you that privilege, you should look into this cool guy from Roman times named Jesus.

        • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          13 days ago

          Lol I tagged you “mad about WoKe games” so it’s not surprising that here you are going off about feminists. Practically no feminist has issues with respectful male individuals. So we can speculate where you got the idea that they’re looking for trouble… Gee I wonder

    • reddig33@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      13 days ago

      Do you have a citation for this? Maybe it’s just the circles I run in, but I don’t know any gen-x men who voted for Trump.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      13 days ago

      Gen-X men got him elected.

      Like all things Gen-X, there aren’t enough of us for negative or positive change. In 2022 only 23% were Gen-X (down 3% from 2012), and assuming equal split on gender, that would be about 11.5% men, and I know for sure 100% of Gen-X men DID NOT vote for trump. For the sake of your argument lets say 70% of those men did thats only 8% of the vote. source

      I don’t think its a supportable statement to say that this specific 8% are the reason trump was elected without ignoring the other 45% of the electorate.

      • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        0
        ·
        13 days ago

        I have genitofemoral neuropathy. I’m not satisfying any women anytime soon. lol

        Fair observation though.

        • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          11 days ago

          Hey unrelated and probably a little invasive of me, but just wanted to say you definitely can still enjoy sex with women even if you aren’t using your penis. Oral is often enough for many women, along with dildos, kissing, and breast stimulation. Please don’t feel like you can’t have a sexual relationship just because of that, it is possible (and is the norm for many lesbian couples).

          There are also electrical prostate stimulators (based on the medical device that does the same thing) that will induce orgasm. Idk if that would work with your neuropathy or if it would make it worse etc but those are a thing. I will warn you that all electrical exposure including TENS units increase your risk of developing ALS later in life though, it’s why I retired estim toys from my practice. However, up to you. A prostate shock every now and then may be worth the increased risk to you.

          • disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            11 days ago

            I don’t mind talking about it. As of now, a moderate degree of arousal is too painful to be worthwhile, so masturbation and oral are out.

            The sympathetic muscular response to the pain causes persistent contraction of the lower abdominal and pelvic muscles, leaving them way too tight. I’ve been working with PT to stretch and relax them, but the progress has been slow. I can finally use a Valium suppository without horrible pain from application, so anal play is out until I can control my pelvic floor muscles again.

            I appreciate the estim idea! Who knows. I’ve been so surprised by what hurts and what doesn’t since my injury that I couldn’t predict how that would work. I’ll give it a try. Thanks!

  • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    arrow-down
    17
    ·
    edit-2
    12 days ago

    Lmao all we need to do is deny men any meaningful relationships, that’ll deradicalize them for sure

    I would love to hear other opinions. If you think that ostracizing the specific demographic that you needed for this election is a good idea, please let me know. Personally, I think it’s incredibly stupid. If the only women that a guy is able to get the time of day from are conservatives, I think that’s gonna make guys more open to conservatism.

    Because people refuse to read the article, it says

    The idea behind the movement is individual resistance against what it defines as a conservative political environment and the corrosion of reproductive rights.

    This is explicitly a movement attempting to affect political change, at least according to the article that we’re discussing. I understand and support swearing off relationships for the sake of protecting yourself, but that is not the argument that the article is making.

    • GHiLA@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      13 days ago

      I don’t think it’s different enough from the norm to effect anything. Do you think men will even notice?

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        13 days ago

        Yes?? They’ve clearly been noticing and acting out??

        We are very much in the ’ village burning down ’ part of “A child shunned by its village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”

        • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          12 days ago

          They were acting out before though. The 4B movement is a response to the abuse.

          This is what’s happening, and if you really want to understand it I recommend the book “Controlling People,” by Patricia Evans:

          • Man abuses woman because he feels loved when he violates her boundaries (instead of showing love by respecting boundaries in a healthy relationship)
          • She asserts boundaries (a limit on her own self) as part of the human condition
          • He then amplifies abuse to punish her for breaking from his control and for having boundaries, because it made him feel too separate and not enmeshed, which causes attachment wounds

          They are mad they can’t literally abuse us into submission like Andrew Tate claims. They are mad we aren’t stupid and easy to manipulate, like they’d been lead to believe. They are jealous of beauty and happiness because they are so miserable because men lack community that is kind to women. And that’s all of ya’lls fault. Instead you made manipulative PUA groups.

          They will keep amplifying their abuse, like literally all abusers (see: Why Does He Do That?) until we are dead or they are in jail. It doesn’t even matter if we behave “well,” all that matters to them is that we feed their ego of control and entitlement over us.

          No. You don’t have to do that so neither will I.

          Why don’t you warm up that guy yourself? A hole is a hole, right? Why don’t you suck off these on the fence guys to win them over? I’m sure there are plenty of bi and gay ones you can convince.

          • Jax@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            12 days ago

            Ah yes, because women can’t be abusive.

            The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. If people like you continue to neglect the conditions that lead to young men being brainwashed by red pill, manosphere bullshit - things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get better.

            I don’t really care to read anything that paints men as abusive controllers. I’m interested in making things better, not making things worse.

            • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              edit-2
              12 days ago

              If people like you continue to neglect the conditions that lead to young men being brainwashed by red pill, manosphere bullshit

              What are you doing for this? Show me some screenshots from socials of your work there. I’ll accept even 1 comment in the last 2 weeks of you reaching out to a fellow guy debunking redpill content.

              • Jax@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                12 days ago

                Remember, when Trump’s Youth doesn’t seem to be getting any weaker with each passing year - you did your part.

                • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  12 days ago

                  Wait so you can’t post any proof, not even a comment you made on social, of you speaking to a fellow man about redpill or manosphere content, to specifically stop them from being rightwing?

                  You can scroll through my entire comment history and can find me educating men about feminism constantly for free. Talk about unpaid women’s labor. It’s not me who didn’t do the work.

                  Yet again blaming women for the abuse of men. Literal victim blaming. Nice. Have you thought about how your actions drive women away?

        • Eatspancakes84@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          12 days ago

          Yes, because being part of the majority voting for Trump is clearly the same as being shunned. Women should just give up their bodies to these disgusting creatures for the good of the country ./s

          • Jax@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            12 days ago

            The crux of the issue presents itself.

            The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. You want to help create more MAGATs? Keep ignoring young men and the problems they have.

            • aesthelete@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              12 days ago

              You want to help create more MAGATs? Keep ignoring young men and the problems they have.

              What are out of power left-leaning women supposed to do to fix the problems with these losers? They voted for the “we have problems and we’re being ignored” party after listening to bro podcasts all day and they will now control three branches of government.

              Why is it ok for in power politicians to continually ignore the needs of the people voting for them? Why does nobody notice how “men’s problems” continue even as the spiteful fucks they vote for have massive amounts of power?

              Fixing young men isn’t up to childless, left leaning, powerless women.

              • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                12 days ago

                No, they’re blaming the Democratic party and its online advocates for not taking young men seriously as a voting demographic

                • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  12 days ago

                  No, read their comment. They think women should fuck progressive men to stop them from becoming right wing.

      • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        13 days ago

        Well no, obviously. This movement has members numbering in the thousands. There may be two people in my city actually trying to live by it

    • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      12 days ago

      Back when the majority of women available to date were leftwing, men didn’t get more leftwing. It didn’t happen. Women in the youngest voting demographic on exit polls were something like 61% voted for Kamala, whereas the men it was 45%. If your theory was right (and not just an excuse to blame women for men’s abuse), those numbers would be equal. Men like power over others, enforcement of rules, and feel entitled to the patriarchy and that’s why conservative movements appeal to them as they get older.

      • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        12 days ago

        No, if my theory is right, then we would see a rightward shift among men as they lose contact with left-leaning women. We won’t know for sure that I’m right until a) this movement becomes widespread and b) fewer than 45% of men vote for the next democrat. I’m not blaming women for anything. I’m saying that this would be an ineffective political strategy. Nothing more, nothing less.

        • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          12 days ago

          Okay, your theory would still be true BEFORE the election and 4B movement though. And it wasn’t, because the 4B movement responded to men becoming more sexist. Men left women to be sexist. Women were already rolemodeling good behavior and men went elsewhere.

          We know you’re wrong because men already were surrounded with leftwing women and chose to abuse them instead of respect them.

          Men age 45-65 are below that 45% mark and their wives are traditional and obligated to fuck them out of wifely duty. What women do is largely irrelevant to whether men will be abusive or not. That’s a moral choice the man makes. So let’s make it less convenient for them and add in natural consequences, like natural hatred for people eroding our rights.

          • RBWells@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            12 days ago

            Hey now, I’m 56 and married and not “obligated” to do anything. Not even my mom was, though her mom was. I don’t think that’s a thing anymore, or if it is it’s not in my particular generation.

            I do agree that women aren’t responsible for abusive men, though.

            I don’t know anybody who is being celibate as protest but do know more than one woman who gave up on men to just date women.

          • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            12 days ago

            your theory would still be true BEFORE the election and 4B movement though

            ??? My theory is about the 4B movement. The hypothesis is that if it were widespread, we would see a rightward shift in men. That is, we would expect them to go from 55% voting red to >55% voting red. This hypothesis has not been tested yet.

            So let’s make it less convenient for them and add in natural consequences

            I’m in favor of this. The only thing I’m not in favor of is telling guys that didn’t vote for abuse that they’re the exact same as the guys that did.

            • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              12 days ago

              So if that’s true, then why isn’t the opposite true - when more leftwing women were fucking men before 4B, why didn’t the men get more leftwing? They got more rightwing. Why?

              • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                12 days ago

                I really don’t care about this conversation. The 4B movement has affected literally zero political change in Korea, and that’s really all I should need to say.

                If you don’t want to date men, you shouldn’t.

                • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  11 days ago

                  Lmfao you suddenly don’t care because I am right and embarrassed you.

                  Oh, so now you claim 4B has no effect on men? I thought your hypothesis was that it would drive men rightwing. Suddenly 4B has zero political change. Huh. It’s almost like your original argument was disingenuous.

                  I beat men for substantial amounts of money, and fyi even if you had the money I would refuse you. You are transparently a danger to women with everything you say.

    • masquenox@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      5
      ·
      12 days ago

      that’ll deradicalize them for sure

      I can assure you that this won’t “deradicalize” me. But then again, you don’t seem to understand what that term means, so you probably don’t understand why.

      • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        12 days ago

        Maybe deradicalize wasn’t the best word, but I couldn’t think of a better pizzazzy synonym for convincing centrists to vote blue instead of red

        • masquenox@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          4
          ·
          12 days ago

          To “deradicalize” someone would entail turning them from the left to the right, not the other way around. You may have noticed that right-wingers themselves never self-apply the term “radical,” but leftists most certainly do. Like me, for instance - I’m a radical. There is a very good reason for that.

          It’s only liberals (and liberal media) that strips the actual political meaning out of the term and hysterically applies it to both the left and the right in their inane quest to prove to everyone and themselves that they are in the (so-called) political “center” - something which, as any radical can tell you, does not exist.

          • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            12 days ago

            Any radical can tell me that the political center doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t really change the fact that the loss of the political center is why we’re in for another four years of Trump

            What do you call the 11 million people who voted for Biden in 2020, and didn’t vote this year?

            • masquenox@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              12 days ago

              What do you call the 11 million people who voted for Biden in 2020, and didn’t vote this year?

              People who got fed up with the (so-called) “centrists” that spent the last four years doing absolutely squat to fix the whole “fascist-zombie-horde-scratching-at-the-gates” thing, perhaps?

              You don’t oppose right-wingers with “centrism.” Unless you want to hand the right-wingers a milk-run victory, of course.

              • Eatspancakes84@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                12 days ago

                You are awfully certain about this. I know the centrist approach did not work this year, but I am skeptical that a radical left approach would have won. The election math is just that there are too few of you radicals to win any elections at the moment.

                • masquenox@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  12 days ago

                  You are awfully certain about this.

                  They don’t allow radical politics into the formal political establishment because radical politics threaten to dismantle the formal political establishment. So, no. Radical leftists do not win (or even play) electoral politics.

                  That’s not what we are talking about at all here. If it’s merely winning elections you want you don’t even need radical leftism. All you need is a Democratic party that’s actually hostile to fascism. You don’t have that and you’re not getting it, either.

          • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            12 days ago

            It’s only liberals (and liberal media) that strips the actual political meaning out of the term

            Do you think conservatives are liberals? What is a liberal to you? Since we are criticizing removing political meaning from a word, I want to clarify this

            • masquenox@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              12 days ago

              Do you think conservatives are liberals?

              Lol! What else did you think they were?

              Did the fact that they both fetishize capitalism convince you they were different ideologies?

              Or the fact that they both fetishize the “Rule Of Law” and the liberal nation state?

              Or the fact that they are both perfectly fine with imperialism?

              “Hot button” issues hystericized by the media does not actually qualify as ideological differentiators.

              • LustyArgonian@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                12 days ago

                No, I am aware conservatives are liberals. Liberalism means they are for capitalism. Did you see how I was asking to clarify what you meant? Why did you assume my knowledge?

                • masquenox@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  12 days ago

                  Because it’s only liberals that do not want to accept the truth about liberalism that respond to me here on lemmy.

                  Sorry if I jumped the gun.