Depends. If it’s something I must say to someone, I say it.

If it’s something I can’t control, running is the best way to handle it for me. Exhausting the body calms the mind.

From sidewalks, sure. I try not to ride on the sidewalk, and if I must, will dismount and walk past pedestrians; the sidewalk is for walking. It’s in the name. I would agree with a law saying no motorized vehicles on sidewalks except for wheelchairs.

Bike lanes? What’s bike lanes, hobbits? There are not any of those on my way to work. But if there were, I think ebikes should use them.

I can get to just over 30mph on my allegedly locked to 28mph bike if I turn it to maximum assist and pedal like the devil is chasing me, and prefer the road at that speed, and only use that speed on the road. I wouldn’t ever go fast on a sidewalk because that is insanely dangerous.

I read books to read what’s inside them, not to save them forever as objects. So chaotic evil it is. Unless there is a receipt handy.

Well, no. What happens with us is that either one of us says “want to go to X restaurant?” Far enough ahead of time that the other person hasn’t got some set idea of what they want this evening . So 90% of the time we just get “sure, thanks, yes”. And maybe 10% of the time a “no, but could we go to Y?”. Or a “No, I need to cook the chicken or it will go bad” And it’s literally never gone farther than that.

If my husband did what you are describing above I would be confused. Like if he said “we will go to $restaurant” like that I would assume he had a desperate craving for it and would say yes, as it would be uncharacteristic. But if it kept happening I would ask him WTF?

The owner we bought from had been divorced and was so depressed he neglected the yard and house. I am grateful they didn’t change the insane layout, so it didn’t sell, because apparently nobody else saw the potential - we changed it when we moved in, and dealt with the yard, once the bamboo was out (that was a struggle) it was huge, and while house is not fancy and will doubtless be a lifelong project it is so nice now for us, and getting better all the time and I love the basic layout of it now.

A lot. 4 that I had plus 5 I married into, some of those 5 my husband had adopted, some he’d spawned. Some were already grown when we got together though, so we didn’t have them all in the house (or car) at once.

It’s nice now they are grown because the kids have a good network of siblings and boyfriend/girlfriends, they hang out together and get along, help each other.

It’s so funny, my kids split out exactly half and half, one half of them I could have driven to Miami before they realized we weren’t headed to school, and the other half, if I took a different route would scream “you are going the wrong way!”

Based on my experience and that of my own kids, what worked and didn’t:

Kids are all different so there is not one plan that will suit them all! In general though - K-6 should be half day of academics, half day of electives and free time, they just need to learn to read and do math comfortably, understand the idea of variables and some basic science about the physical world. Grades 7-12 should have science, literature, maths, art of some sort (kid choice - dance, music, visual art, creative writing, something that makes them think in a different way) and some learning about the world in a cultural sense - political geography, history, government styles. Some sort of physical education too - dance or sport for those able, health and gentle movement education for those who are not able, everyone should learn to maintain their bodies not just their mind, they are connected.

The kids of mine who went through the “IB” here got by far the best education of my offspring, but they were also the most naturally academic of the lot so it suited them, understand? The others would just collapse in the face of a program like that! You can’t just force everyone into the same shape.

At least he doesn’t say it out loud.

Good food can be so indulgent and still healthy. When my kids were little I’d get a small container of raspberries at the grocery and eat them in the car to be selfish with them. Just didn’t have much for myself at that point in my life. Those honeycrisp apples are so delicious.

My mornings are indulgent because my days are busy.

No alarm to wake, husband wakes me gently.

Sex every day.

Coffee for work, often from the Cuban place up the street, and slow commute in by e-bike.

I also buy fancy cheese because I love that stuff, and have a large collection of liquors, liqueurs, and some wines, I don’t drink every day and honestly don’t drink enough to bother with anything I don’t love. Less and better is the way.

Agreed.

Not to excuse the relentless flow of money upward, but the two times we had to do (temporary) pay cuts in my career, it was 10-15% for employees, paid back eventually, and 35-50% for executives, not repaid. At two different companies. So I do know at least sometimes it’s done that way.

How early? When I had to get up at 5, it just sucked no matter what. At 7? Just do it for a couple of weeks until you can be sleepy at 11pm, it will work itself out.

You write so well, hope you can find your way to a better time, and NOBODY is obligated to have children, full stop. No matter why they don’t want them. Not even the person who might birth the person who saves the world. Nobody. You don’t need an “acceptable” reason or to explain yourself to anyone. It’s your life.

I have restored our relationship by very obviously showing them white cheddar cheese puffs, eating one, and leaving them three of them, twice; then leaving cat food once. They are nice now. (Meaning of they are in my yard I can go to the mailbox and they just chill). When I see them I do bring them something but am not home much lately.

But really, if you are gonna cuss me out, what do you expect?

Last week I was out in front and heard an exchange so nice - one yells “caw caw” then the other “cawcawcawcaw” over and over until finally MR. Caw Caw says “caw caw, cawcawcawcaw” and they both stopped. It made me laugh.

Yeah I have a “sad” list for when I need to cry. These and Sweet Old World by Lucinda Williams and Road by Nick Drake, because he didn’t find a road to take him home, and the stories about how he was so depressed he’d go into the studio and lay flat on the floor to record the songs.

John Prine also has that Sam Stone song, that is less poignant and more aggressively sad but so real sounding too.

Red Dirt Girl, Emmylou Harris

“He told her - little sister, gonna ride the wind, up around the moon and back again. Well, he never got farther than Vietnam, I was standing there with her when the telegram come for Lillian.”

And “nobody tells you 'bout the blues when you got 'em, you just keep falling cause there ain’t no bottom, there ain’t no end, least not for Lillian.”

AND

“Nobody knows when she started her skid, she was only 27 and she had 5 kids. Might have been the whiskey, might have been the pills, might have been the dream she was trying to kill.”

Such a tearjerker, a very cathartic song when you need to cry. Boulder to Birmingham too.

I don’t think it’s immoral, and I also don’t think it’s immoral to have the child. It’s more complicated than “disability” or “ability”, if you can handle the job and give that kid the best life they could have had, short or long, love them and see it through, that is not immoral. If you know you cannot, and it would wreck your life or be very detrimental to your already born kids, it’s certainly not immoral to abort the fetus and focus on what you can do.

OMG I did this with a crow recently. Am a pretty good mimic, crow was across the street, he looks over and caws, I repeat it, he gets huffy and flies away. Well, don’t dish it if you can’t take it!