- cross-posted to:
- atheism@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- atheism@lemmy.world
Summary
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.
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At the time, Carlson says, he was asleep in bed with his wife – and four dogs.
I have an alternate theory about those claw marks…
Even Fido has had enough of his shit
Hopefully Fucker gets rabies
Good dog.
Occam’s Razor? Naw, it’s gotta be Occam’s Jewish Space Laser.
We know his wife didn’t leave them in the throes of passion, that’s for sure
Dude, even small dogs can hog some serious space. 4 dogs? I’m surprised there’s any room left for the fucker and his wife. He probably got scratches falling out of bed.
“I went to bed and woke up next to this unconscious woman… I was in my bed with the wife and dogs at the time, so she must’ve been a demon.”
Holy shit I did not think the alt right could get any fucking dumber.
Yeah, i imagine his wife is pretty vicious.
I do too. Paranoid delusions
Is it Tucker Carlson has hell hounds for pets?
His boyfriend choked him out too hard? I’m bad at inferences.
Tucker Carlson and JD Vance had rough normal gay guy sex and he’s getting ahead of any story and saying it was demon assault.
I can also take part in conspiracies
Tucker made the mistake of dressing up as a couch for Halloween.
It’s why JD Vance’s pimp handlers slather him in makeup and eyeliner to keep Tucker interested in MAGA. All funded from the top down by Elon Musk who eats babies in a failed and desperate attempt to stay young.
How to explain away the signs of rough gay sex to your wife.
How to explain away the signs of rough
gaybeastial sex to your wife.FTFY
This.
“I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs and mauled, physically mauled.” … “I have no idea what happened.”
lol
He claims the dogs were sleeping but, who knows. 🤷♂️
Sounds like he assaulted someone and that news is about to come out. He is preempting that.
People are saying it’s the dogs, but given that it’s Tucker Carlson I think it’s far more likely that he’s just flat out lying.
I dunno. If anyone has the servants of darkness hanging out at their home, it’s this guy.
If forced to wager, split money between affair and prostitute. Longshot: beaten up by old school influencers.
You’re telling me this is a real story like in a real news source?
JFC
It’s probably your own demons Fucker. They’ve had enough of your bullshit.
If this is true, what did he do to deserve this. This doesn’t just happen to a good god fearing person. So I guess the real question is, what did he do to deserve this.
This doesn’t just happen to a good god fearing person. Why would this happen if he DIDN’T deserve this. Clearly he lost favor with the good lord and has opened himself up to the devil to be possessed by a demon.
As someone who was raised in a very evangelical household: the (non)-answer is that it happened to him in order to tempt him or test him or some shit. If it happens to a non-god-fearing individual, it’s deserved, otherwise it’s God’s plan all along. Because moving the goal posts is just way too easy.
The real answer is Tucker Carlson is either actually insane or hardcore grifting, but I’m probably preaching to the choir here going down that rabbit hole lol.
I figured my comment would be countered with “justification” as to why. Not you but your explanation and yea preaching my friend.
No you see he is like Job in the Bible!!! He’s so righteous God is testing him with demons!!!
-his fans probably
True. I know there will always be a justification and it would be a hard fight to change the minds of those who are being grifted.
Ah shit that’s unfortunate. Better luck next time, demon.
sleep paralysis combined with he sleeps with dogs and they have nails. next.
Sleep paralysis was likely what people would later claim to each other was a nighttime demon encounter back in the 1750s So it’s accurate to Tucker and the GOP who just want to burn witches
He should keep that between him and his woman. He doesn’t need to lie to us. 🤷♂️
I bet he tried to fuck one of those dogs and this is his excuse. “Oh no honey I didn’t try to fuck the dog again…it was…democr…no wait…demons…yeah it was a demon gang bang and I beat them off.”
Weirdo. Through and through.
