I have the ability to provide constant unyielding optimism as long as no one ever asks me how I’m doing
How are you doing?
Oh no
I was an electrical engineering student a long time ago, pretty handy with most tools and electronics. I’m also least likely to kill or rape people. Well, maybe not the least likely, but very low on the list of suspects.
I could probably get working communications up and running for communities in like a couple of weeks plus travel. I probably won’t eat you.
I also have experience in demolition, reclamation, and construction. I can outrun the vast majority of people. How fast can you run?
This guys kinda sus “I probably won’t eat you” “I’m least likely to kill and rape you, but not really least”
Yeah movie 101 says to just kill you first and be done.
Faster than you can with a broken leg, sorry about that
Whacky sleep schedule, I can always cover for someone who might need to rest
Unfortunately, I’m a rifle and pistol skills trainer, handy enough with both power and non-power tools to barricade/build a functional shelter, a decent cook with barbones equipment, athletic enough to carry all that and still put in a days ruck, and multilingual enough that we won’t have to kill everyone we come across right away…
Fortunately, my body regularly tries to kill me and I’ll probably be in a coma before the month is out - so peace suckers.
Like, this month? Or that first month of the Apocalypse?
Or yes I guess
Why are your skills unfortunate? The first word in your post is confusing to me.
It’s unfortunate because I am skilled in things that would matter, so I’d likely survive the initial horrors if I’m not within blast radius and have to kill my family when they reanimate.
Fortunately I won’t have to live with that long.
Pretty good
I’m really snarky. What everyone really craves in trying times is a relentless stream of inane criticism.
Define the level of apocalypse…
Do you mean like evil acts of others? I wear personal self defense, fingers crossed I never need to use it.
Or like a flood or volcano eruption or something? Welp, guess I’m fucked too, I can’t swim in water or lava. ☹️💀
I don’t think anybody can swim in lava.
I can. Not for long though.
I can sleep through anything.
Wake me up when they reestablish the society.
I’m a handyman and a weed farmer lmfao I can’t wait for the apocalypse
I’m a mechanical engineer who’s done a lot of hands-on metalworking. Welding, cutting, grinding… you name it. The spikes on your vehicle and the diesel fuel powering it need to come from somewhere. You’ll need lots of guns and ammo too.
And yes I’ve got it all in print for when the power is out. My Machinery’s Handbook will be passed down for generations.
Do you have that handbook as a sharable ebook? Hint hint.
Oh jeez no I’ve had it for a bazillion years
Seriously an undervalued skill in a zombie apocalypse
Well, if you just join the hordes of the ambling dead right away you’re not really helping are you
Imagine you’re in LA and a small community of survivors has formed. All of them need to eat and drink. Each of them could fuck up (leave door open, get infected and hide it, etc.). You sit down to make a list of all the skills they have and after hearing “improv theater” for the tenth time you change your mind about OP.
I’m not sure if you said ambling when you meant shambling, but either way I just love the idea of a horde of zombies just moseying around, having a relaxing little stroll downtown to eat everyone, making the best of a sunny afternoon and devouring humanity.
Precisely. In almost every movie when the zombies aren’t currently chasing anyone they’re just chill, walking slowly and stress free whereever they please.
My special apocalypse skill is culture and entertainment.
I have a hundred TV series, a thousand curated movies, thousands of E books, and thousands of songs on a private server with 2 run drives in case that happens, encrypted of course, and with a laptop have the ability to play them for others or plug into anything with hdmi or even rgb as I carry an adapter.
Even at the end, there will be communities with solar grids that will want entertainment. I even have children’s series for the kids.
If things are so bad that the prospect of a community movie night between farming and defense watches isn’t an enticement, being shot would probably be a mercy. Plus, given time to scrounge and loot the before-fore times, it’d be pretty easy to offer copies of that entertainment to others in trade to other survivor communities without giving much up.
How much would an old laptop with 100 movies be worth to a community that’s been telling eachother blurry recollections of old fiction around the fire for entertainment for years?
same here.
I know a nutjob that’s collected pallets of guns and ammunition for whatever accelerationist bullshit he believes in. I know others just like him.
I know of others that have stockpiled food or medical supplies.
a veritable goldmine of resources for the end of the world.
and I’m not the only one who knows either.
so when shit actually hits the fan nobody is going to be gunning for me. I have nothing of value to them. but those people who have decades of supplies? yeah, I give them 24 hours before they’re dead.
I’ll be watching across the street while they’re raided and will go collect any scraps. I’ll be sitting in my basement with my technology and knowledge in order to not die from dysentery or a common cold.
a quiet existence is a safe existence.
A lot of those things have expiration dates.
Medicine loses potency or goes bad over time. Ammo can get moisture in it or just become unreliable over time. The lining in food and drink containers from most things in the grocery store will usually break down or begin to in about a year and start to leach into the food. Fuel to power any generator will go bad in six months, unless you use additives for long storage and those can cause an engine to be running lean or richer than it should be. Guns need replacement parts and won’t typically work forever with some TLC and the ability to fabricate or just have parts stockpiled
Basically most accelerationist plans for the apocalypse are not backed up by any sustainability. Things like ethanol production and a good battery bank system would be far more sustainable than the usual type of stuff that I see them preparing for. Not that guns couldn’t help, it’s just that if you don’t know anything else and can’t contribute to keeping yourself alive for longer than a few months or a year then that’s just going to end up with sick and starving gun nuts who are desperate if they survive that long
The thing the gun nuts omit, and I mean the ones that proudly have an apocalypse arsenal, is that they intend to be the marauders stealing other people’s stuff on the freeway. Those types, almost always conservative and thus devoid of empathy, believe they’ll thrive in the wasteland by virtue of having so many guns, when the reality is, seeking out constant armed confrontation as a way of life in a lawless world means you’ll be dead very quickly, because other people have guns too. They just don’t fetishize them or have a ridiculous number of them.
Brewing alcohol and maybe making drugs. Very essential stuff ;)
I’m not particularly good at any one thing. I have a PhD, but not in a subject that’s “practical” in the post apocalypse. I’m physically fit enough, but I’m not a paragon of strength or agility. Relatedly, I’m in my mid30s, so not old, but not spry either. I’m handy enough to fix things with instruction and some light jury-rigging, but I’m hardly a Macguyver-type. I’ve never fired a gun before, but I can probably learn to use one.
Assuming I’m not killed instantaneously, or shortly thereafter, I’m an extra set of hands or an additional mouth to feed, depending on your perspective. Charitably, I’m analytically-minded and useful enough in the field, low to middle management type; less charitably, I’m an NPC type that happens to have some amusing dialog.
In a movie or tv show following a group in the post apocalypse, I think I’d be like the 4th to die; dignified enough to have established a minor story arch, but certainly not enough to be a main character. Also not so unimportant that I’m killed off screen (or worse yet, ret-conned).
Assuming I don’t immediately die (honestly would hope I did in that situation) I am very stubborn and would probably persist.
I have been into programming and electronics for almost my whole life (assuming I had any way to power them), love cooking, ferment and can foods all the time and have a good sized garden and a big grow tent with mushrooms in it. I also have several fish tanks with plants so I’m sure I could rig up some aquaponics system. And my wife is a nurse so I’m always learning a lot from her. Even built a backyard mini forge and kiln once because I was bored.
Just don’t make me kill any animals and I think I’ll be ok (unless the animals were injured and needed to be put down or in self defense). If someone else did all the hunting I’d happily do the butchering, though.
I shall hunt for our community, and you can handle the butchering. I will help you harvest our vegetables that you grow.
There really isn’t anything that I can’t do well enough. I’m somewhat of a Renaissance Man. Shooting, hunting, fighting, farming, construction, fishing, mechanics, electronics, radio communication, soldering, flying, whatever, I’ve done it.
