Who is Ed? And how does he know so much about the future?

You hold your sandwiches like this? Weirdo…

Save time and just list Humanity as a threat to everything.

She Baroque her neck.

That’s where all the baby states are made.

I can’t see your bitcoin wallet app, Anon. How am I suppose to launch this game if I can’t see your bitcoin wallet app?

Apps that can’t stand on their own should be deleted, whether it’s nefarious or not.

Persona 5 requires some thought. Don’t play it tired.

What? No Magnum 44 marker?

“I pity the person who has to clean the sheets on Zek & Ishka’s bed.”

Let me know when they name an aircraft carrier after him.

Unfortunately the water is no longer heated.

Gowron: “DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH WARRIORS!”

Jack: “About that…”

Doctor: “For reasons I cannot understand, I am losing him.”

Because absolutely no one was expecting the same layout with a bigger screen and more streamlined hardware that literally looks like the phrase “Switch 2”? They think the whole world was suppose to be shook.

Getting a donation pool together to help build the Elon Musk Gender Therapy & Surgical Reassignment Center after he croaks.

The Japanese are mad because 10 eggs are getting close to ¥300 ($1.91).

I buy higher quality eggs and I only pay ~¥250 for 10.

(Japan doesn’t do anything by the dozen.)

Now rice… that’s gotten out of control here in the past few months. Some companies now charging 3 times what they did just last summer.

Except Idiocracy didn’t go far enough. Drumph isn’t going to walk around saying he’s sponsored by Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola is going to go around saying they’re sponsored by him.

“The Coca-Cola Company, sponsored by Donald Trump. Donald Trump - Fuck you!”

Shit’s getting real in Honey’s legal department.

Snowflakes: “It is offensive for a westerner to wear a Japanese kimono. You are not Japanese!”

Native Japanese: “We insist you wear this kimono so you feel like part of the group.”

Based on a true story.

“Take my wife, please!”