I get my greens through Mike and/or Ike.

I don’t know if I’d want to live in a world where people spontaneously break out into songs about their type 2 diabetes.

Is this loss?

Yeah, the fact that OP mentioned being at a party was sus. Nobody who posts on 4 Chan is ever invited to parties.

Still?

Breathing air

I would do anything for love, but I won’t eat that.

Nope!

Oh, I’d only waste them anyway.

See username

What does that even mean?

I don’t think anybody can swim in lava.

Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

Talking on the phone is necessary in a call center but is not something you want your surgeon to do during surgery.

Is there a Power of I Don’t Know or a Power of Can You Repeat the Question?

Gotta wake up early to do your taxes.

Don’t forget to pet your dog.

I ain’t happy unless I’m getting paid.