You must log in or register to comment.
Me all the time, but after getting medicated it’s a little less overwhelming and I can better calm down about it and slowly chew through the lists of stuff that needs to be done… Slowly… But any progress is better than no progress at all so I’ll take it as a massive win.
For anyone reading this.
From personal experience, have a shower daily, go for a walk, even if it’s only to the end of your garden or street and drink plenty of water. Sleep if you need to.
This won’t fix things, but it will give you an opportunity to give yourself a break.
In my experience, beating yourself up about everything you suck at is the single biggest thing that made it worse for me.
Finally, talk to someone, anyone. In the street, at the bus, at work, friends, family, online, anyone.
This too will pass.
Yes.
That’s the list of things I know I should be doing but can’t.I have been there.
It’s not a fun place.
In my experience the thing that gets everything else going is going for a walk. Start small. Walk to your front door and open it. Next time do it again. Perhaps take a step outside. Do it again. Then two steps, closing the door behind you - bring your keys!
The idea is to do something slightly bigger than before, but not so much that you are exhausted or afraid to try again.
The only one who is going to change anything is you, harness your energy and have a crack. Nobody is watching so no need to be ashamed.
Have at it.
Your the elf that wanted to be a dentist!
I get that you’re trying to be uplifting and motivating and whatnot but executive distinction making it quite literally impossible to motivate myself to get up and take those first few steps is the problem here.
for me, the most important part is not shaming myself. if I could be doing any better I would
Then don’t do all of it. I like to break my to-do list down to the smallest, actionable step? Usually it’s just a shower, but it helps me hate myself less.
I wished i had a garden
Posture. I know my posture is bad and remind myself to straighten up…ten seconds later I’m slouched on an elbow.
Hey.
You know what?
The only use those types of thoughts have in anyone’s life, is to remind you of something you value completing.
Thats it. Once you’ve had the thought, let the next thought follow just be - Yup.
Maybe you do it, maybe not. But putting that pressure on yourself isn’t serving the purpose of doing that thing, in fact, it almost always does the opposite.
So yes, Ideally, we’d have no motivation other than feeling the need to do a thing simply because its what need to do.
But its not like that, for anyone. Stop being so expectant of yourself, and instead just expect that kind of thought to come up, and then wave at it, and let it pass on by.
Had about a month of this but this week the switch has flipped and I’m trying to complete a months worth of stuff in a day.
This will of course end in tears and frustration and the cycle will begin again.
Erryday
Does that only happens to people with ADHD? Because the post is literally me and I’ve never asked to a doctor about this.
A lot of symptoms of ADHD happen to the general population as well, but in people with ADHD they may happen at such frequency and/or intensity that they become debilitating in the current system.
For the last 2 months I started to consider about going to a doctor because I cannot know if my inability to keep doing tasks or focus on them is because of the enviroment at my home is being harmful to my mind health or if I could have ADHD or similar. Maybe it’s the moment to do it, but it doesn’t feel confortable for me to ask a doctor.
Could be depression,100% talk to a doctor/professional, reach out for help.
Those are also symptoms of depression. Either way, If you regularly feel that way, try to talk to a doctor or support groups to try to get help.
What the others said, if possible, go see a doctor. I have depression but I’m subscribed to this channel because it’s interesting for me to learn about symptoms and ideas how others deal or cope with them. ADHD and depression share many similarities. ( I will definitively try to learn from the mentioned book tiny habits) I went to a doctor when I felt really really bad. But it was one of the best decisions I have ever made, because I got a treatment and can even go to a therapy. And if you shouldn’t suffer from ADHD or depression - even better!
absolutely me this week … month
The last like 3 years for me
Right? It’s like COVID laid bare all the injustices and bullshit of our society and social structures and all but destroyed any motivation to accomplish anything that I had. Things just seemed pointless cause the old myths are fucking lies and I’m tired of killing myself for others during the prime years of my life.
What do you do when your apathy is due, in part, to the world being a cesspool where a few have the most? It really sucks.
Every friggin day
Darn. I’m reading this on the day that I stayed home instead of heading to the gym. I should try to go tomorrow instead of skipping entirely through.
You “will try” tomorrow.
Take the word “should” out of your vocabulary for the most part, especially with self-talk. It’s often not useful.
Yes. You got this, bud!
There is a book called “Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg. He invented most of the techniques companies like Meta use to manipulate you and me.
In the book, he explains how to use the same techniques to control your own behavior.
I personally am in much better physical and mental state since I read it.
You cannot beat yourself up until you improve. It does not work. It is a myth.
Here is ChatGPTs summary:
“Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything” by BJ Fogg explores how small behavioral changes can lead to significant transformations in one’s life. Fogg, a behavior scientist, introduces a method for creating lasting habits by making them tiny and easy to accomplish.
Key Points:
-
Behavior Model:
- B = MAP: Behavior (B) happens when Motivation (M), Ability (A), and a Prompt (P) converge at the same moment. To change behavior, adjust these three elements.
-
Tiny Habit Recipe:
- Identify a tiny behavior you want to incorporate into your routine.
- Attach this new behavior to an existing routine (Anchor).
- Celebrate immediately after doing the behavior to create positive reinforcement.
-
Focus on Small Changes:
- Instead of making drastic changes, Fogg advocates for starting with tiny, manageable actions. Over time, these small actions accumulate and lead to significant changes.
-
Celebration:
- A crucial part of the Tiny Habits method is celebrating your success, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement encourages repetition and helps solidify the new habit.
-
Ability and Simplicity:
- Simplifying the desired behavior increases the likelihood of success. If something feels too difficult, break it down into even smaller steps.
-
Motivation:
- While motivation can fluctuate, designing tiny habits that fit easily into your routine helps ensure consistency, regardless of your motivation levels.
-
Behavior Design:
- Fogg provides a systematic approach to designing behaviors that stick, emphasizing experimentation and iteration to find what works best for the individual.
By focusing on tiny, achievable changes and celebrating small wins, Fogg’s method aims to make habit formation easier and more sustainable.
This is awesome, thank you so much!
Can you share the method you used (model/prompt)?
-
Is the book and its methods intended for neurodivergent people? If not, it is important to be aware that it may have limited use to people with ADHD as our dopamine signaling in the executive function parts of our prefrontal cortex is all kinds of fucked.
That said, I’m ecstatic to read that you found it helpful and really appreciate your correct characterization of one of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that we often try to use.
I think when it comes to exploitation by corporate interest, having ADHD makes you 10x more vulnerable.
I’ve heard of atomic habits before. Is this different?
I hope so. I read atomic habits and it fed into my delusions of grandeur but nothing stuck. I don’t think it was written for us
I can’t focus enough to read a book and of I try hard enough I fall asleep after page two. Guess it’s not for me.
Cool, then I guess you’ll just do nothing until you die, and blame everybody but yourself.
You are capable of making stupid comments on lemmy. You are also capable of reading a book. Stop making excuses for yourself and be better.
Fuck off, you think you know me ? You would have not made it having been through half of my life. I keep fighting in hopes that things get better and KNOW my shortcomings. If you think I haven’t tried reading books you are way off track. I have had a huge collection of books and LOVED reading but the fact is it takes me over a year to read a normal book as I fall asleep after two pages and have to reread every line multiple times and of course I don’t remember the line I just read but you think that everyone is the way you are and assume. I guess you think I’m a lazy fuck who never tries anything to get better do you ? Fuck off and goodbye!
Let me dumb this down for you: You just wrote an entire short story about about how you cannot focus enough to read a story.
Do you understand now?
Everything about you screams main character syndrome.
Yeah, that’s fair. What did I say which was incorrect, though?
Yes, I do think you’re a lazy fuck. I think you do, too. Goodbye.
The only possible reason you’d be this triggered by a stranger is that you see yourself in them and you don’t like what you see, so I recommend you start by taking your own advice.
That’s very fair! And you aren’t entirely wrong. I’ll try to learn something from this, but I think the best way to learn is by challenging.
But I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas!
You had the option to be constructive without being cruel or act like an ass, and you chose ass. Why?
Yes, I was cruel. No, I don’t think I was an ass. I think I was constructive. Why do you think differently?
I guess I asked wrong, let’s say that you were constructive. Why did you choose to be cruel?
Good question. I can’t answer that. I probably should’ve been nicer.
Making assumptions about the way other people feel or think is unproductive and unnecessary. Maybe you want them to be mad, to fight back, but you’re just some words on a screen right now, so it only comes off as being an asshole.
If you can’t build yourself up without tearing others down, you’re an ass.
I did the Audible
Thanks I will try it when I can afford it. I just put it on my wishlist.
If you live in the states, Libby is a lifesaver. It’s an online audiobook thing for libraries. You can use your library card to check out audiobooks through the app. And if you’re unable to use Libby for some reason, I’ve heard mobilism has a lot of audiobooks for free
Not in the States but thanks for sharing anyway, it may help others.
You are literally who internet piracy is for my friend
Go duplicate some digits
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uTawbZA7odY
Yarrr, I mean really not, but it’s freeWhoops that’s just an interview with the author, though may be useful to some, I shall keep looking.
Audiobooks.com has a 30 day free trial, and this is one of the books they have, but still not good enough…
Bookey.com also has a free trial and this audiobook. I’m failing here as a pirate. Unfortunately, I haven’t pirated any audiobooks so I don’t know where to look
i take it you tried the archive? There’s usually a rouge upload on there somewhere, if not, some torrenting or filesharing service WILL have it, though it’s less accessible to the average person.
Yes. I tell anyone I can at work about the public library and how you can use Libby or Hoopla to get free books. Some audio books for those not wanting to read. It is a great asset.
Try speed reading. Like faster than is comfortable. I was the same way til I realized my casual reading pace is too slow to keep me interested. I still struggle to get interested but once I am, zooooom
You mean like having movers coming in a few weeks but not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country? Cuz it feels like you might be referring to my having movers coming in a few weeks but me not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country.
hi i just moved today it sucks and you’ll probably do a lot of things last minute but YOU GOT THIS HOMIE
Are this and atomic habits related, or different strategies?
