Missing the classic, “You speak so well!” Like, wtf, did you expect me to speak in pure jive and clicks???
I can’t stop laughing at this comment, I can hear it.
Here’s a bonus I saw at college: “Can I touch your hair?” it’s an especially weird one.
I was blonde growing up in a middle eastern country and people used to want to touch my hair all the time. It’s just curiosity.
No, it can only be white on black racism
white guy here.
I had a lady do that to me and my beard in college.
it was weird at the time but scratched a physical contact itch I had no idea I had. the interaction started a long lasting infatuation with black matriarchs.
my point is, it’s fine to tell people no because it’s a limit of yours, but some people get curious about things that are new(to them) and it shouldn’t be held against them. who knows you might even like it.
The problem is volume. You had one interaction years ago. Black ladies get this sort of thing a lot more. I’m sure it gets exhausting.
I’m a Latino and I grew out my hair during the pandemic with the goal of donating it. My hair comes out curly when it is long. One day, when we were back to seeing people face to face, a black woman asked if she could touch my hair. I was a little surprised that she asked, lol.
Did you get all offended about it
Speaking of touching hair, this isn’t really related but what are you supposed to do when holding a baby?
Like I held my family members baby the other day at Thanksgiving and my brain just defaulted to petting their nearly bald head like my cat 😭I think that’s normal, actually. Little kids like affection and caressing their bald head qualifies. I’m not sure what age that ends, though.
I’m over 30 but I still like it when my gf gives me head scritches/scalp massages. So I guess never for some?
I don’t have kids, but a friend of mine that does commented I sway while carrying a cat in the way someone holding a baby does.
I guess that’s more proof part of the domestication that went on with cats is that they somehow signal “baby” to our minds.
It makes sense it goes the other way too.
It doesn’t matter what the stats are, it’s insanely rude.
What type of racism is this? It’s an everyday sort but contains institutional and casual types. Is there a label for it?
30 Rock had an episode where Liz thought Tracy couldn’t read. I loved his label for it:
“The subtle racism of lowered expectations.”
That’s a fantastic way to say it.
yeah, prejudice.
microaggresion?
Wtf? Is this someone’s experience?
I can’t speak to the ones about holding babies because I try to generally avoid that, but I’m a black woman, and I feel these to the depths of my soul.
I remember some girl in college literally asking me “Oh, are you from a broken home?” It took me a minute to even understand the question.
Are you guys ok over the pond? I thought every panel after the second was just silly but then I read the married guy’s comment…
but then I read the married guy’s comment…
Kinda amusing that you didnt take this seriously until you had a white male confirm it for you.
Note: am white male, I just saw the irony (?) in the situation.
These aren’t normal questions from strangers. Unless you have a strong reason to, you don’t assume details about people’s lives when getting to know more about them. Even the questions on the left are presumptuous and can represent a faux pas, but they’re mild enough that the recipient would likely correct any wrong premise without making it an incident. But trying to guess details reflects poorly on you if you are wrong. Mostly you would express interest in what you can see about someone as an invitation for them to share more if they care to.
Last question is pretty legit though. Isn’t there data of how many black kids grow up without a father?
Lol that’s a stereotype. One parent not being in the picture is a poverty thing. Not a black thing. Since poverty disproportionately effects black Americans out seems like it’s a black problem but it’s a system of oppression problem.
Look at the graphs and compare the relative Poverty between latinos as blacks. Then looks at the graphs showing single mothers. There is some correlation between poverty and single motherhood, clearly. But there is definitely a great disparity between the various poor that you just can’t wave off as “racism”. It might be systematic, but not only a system perpetrated by the white majority, cause then the graphs would be equal for latonis and blacks. So perhaps there is a systemic issue within the black community causing men to not take responsibility for their own children? https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/00027162221120759
Not everyone believes this, but my understanding is that declassified (CIA I think? been a while) documents support the assertion that parts of our government employed a strategy designed to disrupt black communities. This strategy involved flooding predominantly black neighborhoods with crack cocaine, and then letting addiction, crime, and incarceration take their course.
It worked really well.
And then add in policies over the years that have perversely incentivized splitting up households (much-needed aid not available depending on who lives in the home), too, which may have been well-intentioned but proved very damaging to communities.
And we should also not forget - when comparing poverty outcomes between black and Latino Americans - these groups did not start from equivalent points. The practice of slavery did lasting, massive damage to the black community in the US - it’s basically impossible to extract present outcomes from that history. Far too much trauma.
Lol this doesn’t give any context and has cherry picked data with poor controls over variables. (Like why is a parent missing? Is it due to over incarceration and policing of black communities? Is it due to poor financial state of schools in black communities? What classifies a single mother? Does that mean the father is not in the child’s life at all or just not currently in a relationship with the mother? What about single father’s? Is that accounted for?)
There’s nothing in the black community or genetics. It’s all outside societal pressures. There are hundreds of studies on this by way more reputable sources with vastly different conclusions. The black community is no different when it comes to wanting to have a family and wanting to be involved with that family. But Black Americans ( especially black women) deal with outside factors that essentially guarantees most black Americans are second class citizens.
The fact that you “know it’s a talking point” but don’t know the statistics makes me feel that you should re-think who created the statistics in the first place and why.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/00027162221120759
Data for this study comes from the LIS, which is an archive of cross-nationally and historically harmonized individual-level nationally representative datasets. U.S. data in the LIS come from the Annual Social and Economic March Supplement of the CPS. The main advantage of using the LIS over the underly- ing CPS is the higher-quality and improved income measures that comprehen- sively incorporate taxes and transfers and therefore yield improved poverty measures. I analyze twenty-five waves of LIS data for the United States from 1995 to 2018. I select this time period because it includes all the U.S. datasets for which all variables in the study are available.1
Lmfao, from your article:
it seems more research exploring the role of structural forces (e.g., the labor market, policies, racism, etc.) would be a fruitful avenue for advancing our understanding of the enduring racial inequality in child poverty and the penalties attached to child poverty risks.
Even your article calls out that racism is a major factor that should be studied. Glad you agree.
Not the argument. Nor is there an argument here. The question could be boiled down to: are there more black single mothers? Yes, categorically, unequivocally yes. Doesn’t say anything about the fathers race though, granted. I kinda went by the fact that most couples are not “mixed race”. Which is a bit presumtous by me, but not a bad presumtion given history.
Haven’t made any claims of any reasons. Just that it is. And therefore the last statement in the meme is kinda meh and sticks out among the others.
I asked you to think about why a stat might be popular.
You cited an article without personal comment.
I quoted your article back to you.
You refused to acknowledge the citation as a factor in your statistic, but also don’t have another argument without that statistic.
F
You didn’t ask me anything? You made a slightly condescending comment.
You quoted something that isn’t relevant to my point. But i acknowledge the existence of a flaw in my thinking, in that the fact doesn’t say anything about the race of the father.
A statistic isn’t popular, it just is. And the meme is dishonest for pretending it doesn’t exist.
What’s the point you’re trying to actually make?
the last statement in the meme is kinda meh and sticks out among the others.
If it sticks out you’re missing the point of the chain of statements.
It’s not that the other statements are or are not statistically justified, it’s that making comments to people that are clearly being made because of their race and perceptions about their race is something that tends to happen regularly to black people and other minorities, and not so much to others.
It is more common for black fathers to be absent according to certain demographic measures.
However: race is not the only factor to the statistic, and the statistic in not defined well through time.
At one point “divorced or never married mother” was the basis for the statistic. Shifting it to “father lives in a separate home” is better but still misses that you can live in a separate home and still be there for your kid. That’s before you get to adoptive fathers and all the other non-biological support roles.For all those measures, economics is a better predictor than race. Race serving as an indirect measure of economics is its own can of worms and bias.
Finally, a question can be statistically valid and still be biased, inappropriate, or just rude.
“You’re black, so I don’t want to assume your child’s father is around” is all of those.deleted by creator
