Hallmark Boss Assistant: “Donald, you are worth 3 billion dollars, your wife never cooked, you have staff that runs your household. Now buy another wife, and move on, like a normal billionaire.”

What about this: Big city woman goes home from her overseas job after many years to her hometown, but is met with suspicion by the town sherrif and she is run out of town. When she once more tries to get home, she’s arrested and abused by the sherrifs deputy in the jail, when she flips out and fights her way out of the station and flees into the woods on a motorbike. The local police pursue her on foot and in helicopters, but she evades capture while subduing her pursuers. Eventually she is cornered and then trapped in an abandoned mine by the national guard. Against all odds, she escapes and steals some military hardware, determined to lay waste to the town that treated her so poorly. After blowing up a gas station, she holes up in a building, planning to fight to the death. Eventually her old boss appears and after she tells of the horrors she saw in her big city office job, he convinces her to surrender.

I picture the lead female character being played by Sylvester Stallone.

The latter is Lifetime.

I used to feel this way but then a friend and I decided to get really stoned and watched one MST3K-style and made crude and snarky comments through most of it and we had fun. It works best if it’s a movie with a recognizable actor, our first one had Tiffany Amber Thiessen, and your friend(s) are quick-witted and have little to no moral compass.