In 2025 I’m going to get a good night’s sleep every night. Further, I will wake feeling rested and ready to take on the world
Damn, look at this guy going right to the “bending the laws of the universe” boasts.
I will wake feeling rested
Depending on your situation, a sleep study and CPAP could help with that.
Been there, doing that. I love and hate my cpap.
It changed my life. I hate it, but I’d be dying without it.
Soooo…a typical New Year’s resolution then.
I’m going to evenly microwave a Hot Pocket.
You should settle for something more realistic like punching god in the taint
Ooh - I’ll do an impossible one:
“I will be able to afford a house on double the median household income for my region”
I’m going to mangione every single billionaire.
Swoons
In 2025 I am going to steal slood from the gods for mankind. This will fix everything.
I’m finally going to nail Molly Ringwald.
My Yule boasting! I am going be less judgmental and critical. This weighs on me heavily so it’s definitely a more Herculean task for me than it might be for someone else 😊
I’m gonna pants Vladimir and push him down some stairs
Yeehaw! In 2025 I’m going to defeat my personal demons with a fucking flourish and get yolked as hell doing it.
I’m getting out of my comfort zone
Ok, here I go: I will finally hit the gym, find someone to love, get a better job, learn to play an instrument, become a more patient and confident person, read the books I’ve bought, play the games I’ve bought, learn a new language, spend more time with people I care about, try LSD, start a master’s degree and do something about my receding hairline. Good luck, future me.
This is just news years resolutions except you don’t intend to keep them 😂
Im going to break a chunk off Jupiter and bring it into Earth’s orbit so we have a second moon!
