I’d say 80% of this is traceable to having a comfortable amount of money his entire life and decent, non-abusive parents. A lot of anxiety and mental illness most people experience is traceable to trauma due to scarcity or trauma due to family. Ditto sleep disorders and reactability.
It doesn’t explain everything, of course. No allergies is just a lucky die roll (and may not be true forever; allergies sometimes develop over time, or appear because you finally tried something new). And plenty of mental illnesses can still develop no matter who you are.
I’m convinced that the vast majority of us are just canon-balling between traumatic event to traumatic event, with no real time to stop and process. So we inevitably freak out over something small, without realizing that the level of emotion we feel is a reflection of unresolved trauma, and not indicative of whatever the triggering event is. Sometimes, I see news stories about someone flipping out on a plane or in public, and I wonder what they’re actually upset over, what happened to their past selves that so heavily contributed to their over-reaction today? I think you can only truly understand someone when you know their tragedies.
I think trauma and hardship in general isn’t additive, rather multiplicative or exponential.
Like, once there’s a “core” trauma, small every day issues seems bigger and harder to deal with, and that kinda builds on itself so any new hardship seems bigger and bigger and so on.
I’m convinced that the vast majority of us are just canon-balling between traumatic event to traumatic event, with no real time to stop and process.
Much of that is just life though. I’ve always wondered if this misunderstanding is one of the fundamental sources of many people’s anxiety.
So we inevitably freak out over something small, without realizing that the level of emotion we feel is a reflection of unresolved trauma, and not indicative of whatever the triggering event is.
For some reason most people assume the “good times” are the default and the “traumatic event” is the outlier. I don’t believe that is the case.
The “traumatic event” is the default, the “good times” are the outlier.
So when a traumatic event happens the question isn’t “Why did this happen to me?” but rather the statement “That was a really great run of temporary ‘good times’, now lets deal with this event”.
Thats when having money comes in. Many years ago a family member gave me a saged piece of advice when I was young “If you have a problem that can be solved by money, and you have money, you don’t have a problem”. A flat tire, for many, can be a traumatic event listed above. It can mean finding money you don’t have for a new tire, loss of income from missing work, impacts to your family from not being able to pick up your kid from school/daycare, or loss of advancement at work from being considered “unreliably” and being passed over for promotion. Those can all trigger the consequences of “traumatic event”. However, if you have a couple hundred bucks unallocated to your name you can immediately lay your hands on and spend, a flat tire isn’t a problem, its a mild annoyance.
So having money doesn’t remove the “canon-balling between traumatic event to traumatic event”, but it removes many events that would otherwise be traumatic leaving you with less trauma overall, and keeping your capacity to deal with the trauma mostly in check with the understanding that life will always give you more as time passes. This also makes you very much appreciate the outlier “good times” when you’re experiencing them, because you know they will end.
You should read the book “The Body Keeps the Score”
I have two teenaged boys brought up together , close in age, and most of their lives had an intact family and comfortable life …
- one has anxiety, the other doesn’t
- one has sleep issues, the other doesn’t
- one has overeating issues, the other doesn’t
- one is sedentary, the other an athlete.
- one has allergies, the other doesn’t
I don’t know what to make of my younger kid: he does his homework on time and gets good grades. He goes to bed on time and gets a healthy amount of sleep. He eats a healthy amount with good nutritional choices. He’s an athlete on a varsity team and likes working out. He’s open to new experiences, new cuisines, new knowledge, and has friends different races, preferences, and peer groups. He’s popular with both fellow students and with teachers. He’s not anxious nor bullying nor mean. I don’t understand him at all.
There are just so many factors that go into a person’s experience of life. Even something as simple as being on the older side or the younger side when you first start school can have a giant impact.
When our youngest was just at the age where she was allowed to get up and turn on the TV by herself and watch something while we were sleeping, 9-11 happened. I left the house early for work that morning. When my wife got up, our daughter was terrified. They had repeatedly interrupted Nickelodeon to show the planes hitting the buildings, and she was too young to understand that it was the same planes being shown over and over - she thought planes were falling out of the sky all over and crashing into buildings. She was waiting for one to hit our house. It took a long time before we realized that’s what she was thinking. At 27, it’s still left lasting issues. If she had been younger, she wouldn’t have seen it, and if she had been older she would have likely understood better.
Normal happy healthy person here. Money helps ALOT, parents were abusive but I worked past it and they got help. Can confirm allergies CAN just pop up as you get old. Thanks for nothing coffee allergy!
I agree the things you mentioned play a role in mental health. Just to stress what you said by the end, because people sometimes don’t know and are confused: there’s an awful lot of hereditary mental illnesses. There can be nothing wrong in your life and just the lotery of genes makes you miserable.
To everyone in the comments saying he must have other mental health problems: do you really not believe someone can just be “normal” or is it a meme?
Perfect is impossible, Normal is a range. Everyone has a personality and individual quirks, but unless they are interfering with your life, that is normal, yes?
not having mental illness does not mean being perfect. Not in any way.
That’s what I’d say, yeah
“normal” is not only unnatural, but a goal that cannot be reached.
Most of the things people call mental disorders are actually things we evolved to be advantages in a more natural competitive environment. When I say natural, I mean before cameras and machines that should be making a joke of scarcity of not for our greedy overlords.
By “normal” I don’t mean having no emotions or anxieties at all. I mean not having significant visible mental health problems.
Not sure what your last sentence has to do with anything. “Normal” people existed both before and after capitalism, and it’s perfectly natural, healthy, and achievable to some to have no significant mental health disorders.
The terms normal, healthy, and natural evolve depending on cultural and scientific ideas. Being gay is natural again, but some don’t like the word because they associate it with hate. Normal is a word I associate with hate and exclusivity. I have always been, and always will be, abnormal.
Valid, although I think it’s possible to view something as abnormal without hating or excluding it. I was using it in that sense (analytical rather than judgemental), apologies if that implied hate to you.
Ah jeez no I’m sorry, I was being much too severe and I had oversimplified it. Normalcy is great for all kinds of things like roads and statistics. Some of my best friends are normal!
No worries, glad we agree :)
Plenty of “normal” people (maybe all of them) still struggle with their own issues. I’m well-regarded as an expert in my field, I’d be considered successful by most standards, and I don’t outwardly show any red flags around my colleagues. They probably assume I don’t take any medication, because I don’t exactly wear a list of my prescriptions printed on my shirt. They probably don’t assume I work out, because they’re not blind, but whatever. Little do they know that the only thing keeping me sane are a few tiny pills and probably way too much beer.
My point is, it’s normal to be flawed. Everyone is flawed, and it’s part of being a human. By comparing yourself to others, you’re comparing yourself to the image that others portray, not to other people as they truly are. Compare yourself to version of yourself that’s happy, and strive to become that person.
I’m like 90% of the way there although I do have diagnosed ADHD which makes time management and organization difficult but not impossible.
Honestly, it was school that was hard to deal with. I was pretty messed up until I got out of college and got a career job. It’s amazing what a fat paycheck, a good night’s sleep, and not having to worry about differential equations homework does.
You never know what some people used to be like. I know a top tier defense attorney who used to be a heroin addict, and a company VP who was homeless for 3 years.
Yeah that’s the thing of taking a snapshot of a persons life.
this is what makes me pause and wonder if the person who originally posted that Reddit in the image was just observing through a fish lens of self comparison to another person, or if they actually talked with that person and that person really did claim all those things.
He’s totally a serial killer.
Check his air conditioner
Lucky bastard
This is what life is like if you just feel better
This sounds like me before trump, the pandemic, losing my brother, aunt and father-in-law to COVID (due to them not taking it seriously because of politics) and finally getting laid off from my job of 16 years.
Now I eat a handful a pills every day just so I can make it through the day without losing my shit on the next person who slightly annoys me.
I’ve had to explain… basically everything to him because he had never experienced/heard of these before
Oh I see what happened here. You as The Giver must enlighten this sheltered one the experiences that were entrusted to you. He might not forgive you for sharing such knowledge, but it is your duty.
Normal people are those you don’t know enough about.
Last line says it all
I gotta wonder where someone works if everyone there is a physiological or mental disaster. I’ve held plenty of jobs and the people that were a wreck stood out, they weren’t the rule. Even now that I’m older, people do take meds, but they’re all “normal” age-related stuff. Blood pressure, whatever.
With me, probably :-/
Well he’s also a destructive alcoholic and strangles prostitutes and has a premium X account but six of one I always say
Don’t be fooled.
They just don’t give their feelings or conditions the same words like the rest of the world does.
They have a panic attack and it’s not a ‘panic attack’ despite all the symptoms they have that are a panic attack. I’ve known too many of these types that get anxious and then suddenly claim they are fine and never get panic attacks. And everyone close to them are sworn to secrecy to not show they ever had such a weak moment.
They want to be un-relatable to what they associate as ‘unhealthy’ conditions.
I once had explained what a flu is to a vegan who caught a flu a week later only she didn’t call it a flu and she refused to see a doctor. She decided she ate something that had pesticides in it. But oh no she never got the flu or Covid. It could never be called that because the vegan diet is too sanctified to be associated with such ‘unhealthy’ conditions.
Wtf does your diet have to do with catching airborne diseases anyway?
Did she really think swapping meat for broccoli would magically make her immune to all illness?Oh she was hard committed to riding that rocket down the delusional path for as long as it would take her.
Did you not know that your body works with the resources you give it? That’s okay. Here is an accredited article on the subject. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9772031/ A system that has the nutrients to make an immune response is more effective than the malnourished one.
Maybe it depends on culture? I feel I am pretty normal, I don’t take medication and I am content (though winning a few millions in the lottery would be nice). Most people I work with are perfectly normal too (and I work at a university in the psychology department, go figure… though maybe that’s the reason).
The only one in my family who takes medication is my brother and he has epilepsy. None of my friends take any medication for mental health either or go to psychiatrists. Everyone of us is different but not everyone has some trauma in his past or mental health issues. This isn’t a crpg where every protagonists parents got killed by the big evil who was also their grandparent.
I do recognize that mental health problems are far more prevalent than assumed by the general population in past times and that many people have traumas from events in their history.
I would give up every positive quality I have in exchange for that.
