Water + Jesus = Wine
Wine + Jesus = Brandy
Brandy + Jesus = Twice-distilled Brandy? Cooking sherry? Idk
I choose to believe at this point, Jesus got so drunk he forgot to try it a third time.
That next beverage is know as “sweet baby Jesus”
No, because then the ATF will show up and shoot him.
Certainly any dogs nearby RIP
I mean, given that Jesús would not only be a brown hippie moonshiner, but also probably a damn Mexican furriner to boot, he’d be lucky if they didn’t lay siege to the whole neighborhood, Waco-style.
In the Bible they wanted to kill him many times but he always slipped away. He wasn’t arrested until he gave himself to the authorities. The ATF wouldn’t catch him if he didn’t want to be caught. But I’m sure they’d destroy lots of people, animals and property regardless.
"And on the third day, there was a wedding in Cana. Jesus’ mother was there. When the wine was drunk, Jesus’ mother said to him, ‘We’re out of wine.’ ‘Bruh… That’s a big yikes. But why do I care?’, replied Jesus.
Jesus mother instructed the servants, ‘you just do whatever he tells you no matter how stupid it sounds.’ Jesus sighed and turned to the servants saying, ’ Okay. You see those jars? Nope. Not that one. The big ones. Yeah. Those big ones over there. Go fill them up with water. All the way up. Then take some of the water and give it to the host."
The servants were more than a little skeptical but shrugged and did as they were told. When the host of the wedding feast tasted the water, it had become wine. And the host exclaimed, “Damn! That is some good shit. Where did you get that from?” And the servants were amazed because they knew from where the wine came.
And the servants implored Jesus, 'Do it again! No, wait. Can you make something stronger this time?"
– The Gospel According to [Skibidi] John
If he indeed turned water into wine and made all things, why would he need to recurse as if he can’t get it right the first time?
because he works in mysterious ways of course.
No it is impossible for God to do that.
Can God create a brandy so concentrated he can’t drink it?
Late one evening a boy and his father were accosted by a mugger. The traumatic moment unlocked some kind of latent power within the boy. Frantically he tried to intervene, skin touched skin, and the assailant’s blood turned to wine, fatal. But not before the cretin dealt a terminal blow to the father. And that night that boy became the hero we all know, Jesus Christ.
It was probably kombucha.
Can the space man make port?
Woah you might be on to something here
Jesus can make port confirmed
Ruby port. Stomped with stigmata. Notes of berries, plums, Euphorbia milii, leather, plasma and iron. Strong finish.
Is this a midas touch kinda thing? The human body is 60% water 🤔
Why did he even bother to make the wine, he could just make everybody the perfect level of drunk without sobering up.
He wasn’t that omnipotent, okay?
Only someone who is omniscient could know that.
Flying Squid is a god, confirmed.
It’s about time I got the recognition I deserve.
I see that, thank you. I do accept PayPal as a tithe.
All I have is Moo Deng coin.
Something over 90%.
Mmmm pass me more of that wine powder
Making water into wine was not something all that special, it used to basically be like a concentrate that you would then add to water to consume. Shoutout to the history of Rome podcast. So he could make more and more deluted wine with more water but it wouldn’t become more concentrated.
Which podcast is that? You piqued my interest, but there seem to be a lot of podcasts about the history of Rome.
“The history of Rome podcast” is literally the name.
I may have found it. Cheers!
this sounds sketchy - distillation wasn’t invented until well after the Roman era. how?
https://santoriniwinetour.com/why-did-the-ancient-greeks-drink-watered-down-wine/
I guess not explicitly a concentrate but I was trying to allude the fact it was used in a similar way.
I wonder what the azeotrope for magically created alcohol is.
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