“Hello fellow human. I require a haircut. Something like this please shows picture. Thank you”

I say: make my hair beautiful/better (in the local language). I don’t really need to do anything else, it seems to work.

“I’m not really sure, what do you suggest?”

“I dunno. I suck at this. what do you think?”

don’t do that at the cheap joints… but otherwise it usually sets up a good discussion.

protip, if you’re wanting a men’s style… go to a barber. usually less expensive, and usually much better at men’s style. (Also, most barbers don’t care if your a man or woman or non binary. they still won’t charge you extra the same way a stylist will charge some one passing as a woman women’s rates for the same thing. it’s pretty absurd.)

I tell them:

“3 on top, 2 on bottom tapered. Yes I know it is short.”

Haven’t failed me yet. As long as you know what you want, they usually do a good job. Try to get the same barber each time and you might not even need to say depending on how often you get your hair cut.

I like low maintenance, and generally have my hair cut once a year right before summer when it gets hot.

Describe it however you want. If you have a decent barber, they should understand you fine and work with you.
I’ve been shy, straight forward, and all manners of sides when asking for a haircut and the biggest issue has only been the occasional language barrier.

Once you’re comfortable in a style it’ll be easier to use different wording, depending on how you want your style. For example: you most certainly can ask for clipper sizes, like “no. 2 on sides”, however if you don’t know what you want from the top you could just ask them “a bit short but matching the sides, if you know what I mean?”

Some styles have different options, such as skin fades (usually medium or high here, indicating the point where the fade reaches on the side and back of the head). If you’re unsure definitely do not be afraid of asking, if any barber has an issue with working with you they aren’t the barbers you want as they’re likely to rush the haircut regardless of what you say (in my experience), or only know limited styles/lack broader experience in hairdressing.

Mines pretty simple. Clippers (#2) on the back and sides, scissors up top.

Depends on how picky you are. For me, I don’t really care so I say “3 on the sides, trim / a little shorter-or- longer on top”.

I throw up some confusing explanation with gestures before my barber does the same haircut they did to me for 5+ something years. Idk what would I do if they retire.

You think that’s hard?

Last year my dentist/denturist asked my what I wanted my teeth to look like!

It was unreal, trying to develop an aesthetic preference for teeth. It was actually quite eye-opening. I did find that I had a very strong opinion about it. I haven’t quite gotten to the end product, but I now know what I want.

I recommend photos, but also to be careful in explaining what you like about the photo. It’s easy to latch on to one aspect of a style, not realizing that an attempt to reproduce other aspects might end up completely ignoring what drew you to it in the first place.

You need to be more specific. The last thing barbers need is having to guess what you want.

I get a 4 on the sides, a low taper to 0 on the back, and then say how much I want off top in inches. Letting them know how I comb/style my hair seems helpful as well.

You can also just google a hairstyle and show them a picture.

I’m pretty easy, I just ask for it to be cut shorter and go with whatever they suggest.

I bring a picture of myself with the haircut I want.

Husband says tight fade, zero to very short on top and that gets him what he wants, he goes to the same barber lady all the time, she doesn’t speak English and he doesn’t speak Spanish but they still manage to communicate the haircut information.

“Like it is now…only shorter.”

Make me look like Mr Clean.

Consequently I have not been to a hair salon in 30 years, a razor in the shower is all I need. Although one day I would like to have the whole hot towel shaved head treatment at a professional barber.