I was expecting you to say you lost it during a handshake and it was stuck to the interviewer’s hand!

Glad for you it didn’t! 😂

Right? He could just be making shit up and we just believe it because he’s Superman!

They don’t have locks, but they do have a doorbell.

Have you looked into land mines?

You’re not MY king!

You may know him as “Tater Salad”

If an asshole wants the world to know they are an asshole, I have no problem with helping them do so.

At that point, it doesn’t matter what Elon thinks he wants, it’s just a Public Service Announcement.

It was Richard Gere, and it was a Gerbil, not a hamster.

I’m afraid that if international tensions continue to rise, the Great Orange One will side with those who he views as the most powerful. If Russia, Israel, China, and North Korea create an alliance, there’s a good chance that Trump will want to be on THAT team, and we will enter WW3 as the “Bad guys”.

We’ll deserve whatever we get, and it will not be good.

And that side eye!

Get it? Den-EYE? You know, cause I’m an eye… Anyway…

Doesn’t even matter, found a dollar! Nice.

If I’m sending my consciousness to escape somewhere, why the fuck would I choose to end up here?

Jerry found that although the selection was terrible, the funeral home had much better prices than the thrift shop.

Good ol’ atom bomb! There’s no possible way THAT could have negative repercussions!

Secret look into the Project 2025 Meetings.

Paragraph? This is Trump we’re talking about. He can’t hold a thought for longer than two sentences, max.

I know he was a spokescat, but I can’t remember which brand. Maybe 9 lives?

I just remembered the Internet is a limitless source of knowledge. And yes, it was 9 Lives.

There’s always going to bed earlier.