“Kid’s an incredible actor. It looks like he’s legitimately having a panic attack on stage. I need his agent’s number”

Civil forfeiture, police-funded highway strips “towns,” and the criminality of towing companies will likely never be resolved.

Is it self hosted or federated? If not, pass

Better than asking which side of the restaurant is the designated shitting street

Edit: maybe not. “Sister fucker in Hindi
Ban = Sister, Chode = Fucker, Banchode = Sister fucker”

I dunno, bootstraps and endless homoeroticism are fine by me. Damn shame about the kids, but sacrifices must be made

Released from prison? After having been inundated by prison culture, thereby becoming immensely more likely to be a re-offender? No! Released to a deprogramming facility where they can find therapy, life skills, and a path toward a life involving less violence? Literally impossible until for-profit prisons are outlawed and their owners luigi’d

It’s funny to remember that bricks used to be structurally relevant. Also, that’s a wild pattern on the broken windows. Looks like snowflakes

“C’mon, that’s just an average-“

…

“I’d die for happy.”

credit where it’s due

CS Lewis has never had to choose which travel companion to cannibalize during a mountaintop snow storm. Unless your acquaintances look particularly diseased, they’re usually the easiest choice. Friendship can save your life. Take that, you timeless fuck

This was my dad. He fucking despised capitalism and giant corporations, and forcing them to mail him a check for $.15 several times a month was his go-to antagonism. He might, legitimately have been a facet of the fall of sears and the one holding the USPS together, the way he forced sears to mail him a check every few days.

Why would they refuse to set it? Your insurance wouldn’t cover it? Doctor without a clue? Shift change that left you between doctors in a room, alone, for 6 & 1/2 hours?

The microbes are dead because I blanched them for 5 minutes, like the internet said to do

I tried sous vide baths but the ziplocks kept expanding and leaking, so I improvised. My son, trying to be helpful, kept spilling the warm hanger steak water on our dog, who didn’t mind at all but did manage to build a habit of tripping him on his way to the sink like a chihuahua-shaped guided trip cord. Even after she broke 3 of her legs in a botched attempt, looking like a potato on weighted stilts, the habit persisted. Then we moved on to blanching and my wife had to grind the handles off of our cast iron pot to prevent the kid from trying to move it. It was headache after compromise after headache, but my wife and I tolerated it for the perfect steaks. Just try to tell me they don’t look appetizing

I never wash my meats, that would cast the external microbes around the kitchen. Instead, I blanch them in boiling water for a few minutes. It’s kinda like sous vide, but faster. It’s also fine if you forget it in the water for a bit, the meat will only get cleaner! Toss some broccoli into the water for full meal prep with minimal cleanup

Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea

Attacking while running away is, was, and will continue to be a top-tier strategy for the next 20 years. Terrifying that a timeless strategy will be nearly completely overtaken by drone production.

I’d written many when 4chan was young and there was no truth to any of them. They were largely plagiarized from comedians and tv or my most nightmarish imaginings. The only truth to them was that I really needed to get off the internet

Kids nearly got yoinked

I guess if you’re in the market for cola, you’ll look for the cola with the best taste. But seeing a discontinued cola lauded as a fallen behemoth is a bit odd, from my perspective