I’ve been there. Used to work with a girl, had a huge crush on her and I assumed she did me as well. She used to hang out, we’d get lunch every day, she would sing songs at her desk and substitute my name, flirting was obvious to me and everyone in the place assumed we were in a relationship. Until I finally had the courage to ask her out.
She was completely surprised.
Oh well, live and learn. Eventually found my wife and here we are almost 20 years later with kids. Eventually the right one will click.
Theres a lot to unpack here, but really OP made a mistake by asking to go hiking. Thats a terrible first date idea and also isnt inherently date-y. Likely he was just missreading her kindness as flirting, but if he had asked her to dinner or coffee brunch it would’ve made his intentions more clear to her.
Not that it really matters because its fake and gay anyways.
Was that a =3 reference??? Christ I haven’t heard that in like a decade.
It’s pretty common… Some people with low self esteem flirt for attention. It’s fucked, but it’s sad for both parties, really.
4chan in a nutshell
Prob fake but imagine spending a lot of time trying to form a friendship with someone and in the end you find they were only trying to fuck the entire time.
Incels always be fuckzoning every “female” they meet. It’s why their celibacy is involuntary.
I’ll never understand how difficult people make things by not being forthright and making things awkward:
“Is it okay if I bring my boyfriend?”
“…I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I had asked you on a hike as a fun first date, I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend. I’m going to bow out of this, but I can give you the hike info if you want to take him.” And then you laugh about the misunderstanding the next work day, and keep things at work from then on. No reason for it to get bad. Flirting is still fun! Just leave it at that without expecting anything more.
Don’t flirt with someone single if you’re not interested, don’t flirt with someone in a relationship if you’re not interesting in breaking it.
It’s just that simple.
Some people think flirting means they want more.
fake, anon had a girl interested in him
gay, he almost had a three way
Love this community for keeping up with the 4chan spirit no matter what.
There’s always a comment under every post explaining how it’s fake and anon is gay.
It’s kinda weird to wait until the last minute to ask if someone else can come along on a planned outing.
But the rest? I dunno. Looks like a pretty standard mixup.
Yeah, it could upset plans such as tickets, amounts of food brought along, seat reservations at restaurants,… so it is a bit rude to keep that to the last minute.
I’m actually in a situation somewhat like this. A girl our online group knows became somewhat fixated on me. She wants to talk all the time, fantasizes about us living together, but I know she has a long term bf. She isn’t happy with him, but still, they love together and we know him, so it’s fairly inappropriate.
Definitely sending mixed signals not mentioning her boyfriend and saying she has to do things alone, but not sure how that qualifies as “using”. Hiking isn’t really something people “use” others for, it’s not like he would have been carring her the whole time. If she was getting him to do her job when he was talking to her then yeah, but this doesn’t mention anything like that. She could very well have just wanted a friend to talk to at work and didn’t know how to bring it up after a while…
Maybe I’m overthinking this…
Had a college friend that went through a similar situation. We figured she was looking for a threesome because her bf was very much like my friend.
OP had a chance at a three way and dropped the ball…
Honestly gaslighting like that is disgusting to get someone’s hopes up like that only to find out she has a BF. A girl was doing that to me, and now I have a hard time trusting people anymore.
Same dude. The only way to get over it is to get out there and try again, unfortunately.
since we have only one part of this supposedly real situation:
4channers always loose and this one did as well, how dare this woman wanting an actual friend
and of course this weirdo assumes it was totally flirtingHis coworkers allegedly agree she was flirting, so there’s that.
Some people just come across as flirty. It usually isn’t deliberate and if you mistakenly interpret it as flirting that’s fine. Just don’t get all butthurt about it when it turns out they weren’t flirting with you like OP and then it’s no harm no foul.
so he says
I’d say they’re tight, not loose.
Hike sound like 1st date PC to anyone? I mean, it depends on the definition of hike but someone I barely know dragging me to an isolated place in the woods somewhere sounds like a legit way to end up being drug through the woods with a much higher probability than the typical coffee shop date.
Also, who doesn’t have work-mances without deeper meaning? I always have beer after work bros and lunch/break dates with my coworkers but that has no meaning beyond. In fact, I’ve always had a strict rule of never shit in my own back yard. If I was so inclined as to date someone from work, I would not do so until after finding a new job.
what do you mean by “1st date PC”?
It’s tradition to bring your date a new PC on the occasion of your first date. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it should at least boot.
Probably “Personal Choice”
politically correct in a more social the kind of thing a person should do context, like cultural norms
oh huh ok that was the only thing that made any sense but it seemed like a weird context for that term.
to answer the question I think it really depends on the person but I wouldn’t wanna go on a hike with anon, that’s for sure.
If I had the time and patience, I’d offer a rebuttal green text as this one skips quite a bit of salient information. Feels over-edited. Wonder what anon did to her to make her instantly run away.
