E: Da Rules

  • The teleportation can only be used to move you.

  • Your clothes and basic personal items (the things you take with you everytime you leave the house) will teleport with you, but nothing else.

  • wabafee@lemmy.world
    3·
    5 hours ago

    Teleport to Vatican the moment a mass happen right in front of the pope. Then claim to be the second coming of Jesus Christ.

  • RangerJosie@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    9 hours ago

    The closest Galactic Senate.

    If one doesn’t exist then teleport me to where one used to be. Let me see intelligent life. Or at least the remnants of one for a few seconds before I die.

  • Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world
    34·
    2 days ago

    Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we’re about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.

    I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it’s a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.

      • neidu3@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        6·
        2 days ago

        “Look, nobody’s going to believe I just materialized here as opposed to evading your security check. How about we work together on getting out of here by blaming Gerasimov or Shoigu?”

  • CheeseNoodle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    10·
    2 days ago

    So the ISS would probably be the coolest place I could go to but first I’d open up a GPS app on my phone and also set the camera recording so that it could potentially gather interesting data about the teleportation.

  • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
    81·
    2 days ago

    The International Space Station. The sheer confusion value would be amazing, particularly if I stayed quiet about how it happened (“I went to bed, then woke up floating here. I’ve no clue how it happened”).

    I would get to cause a major incident of complete chaos, with little to no harm. I would get to experience space and weightlessness. I would also get a near guaranteed lift home (eventually). There’s also almost no way it could be kept quiet, so I get to be a minor celebrity for a while.

    • brrt@sh.itjust.works
      81·
      2 days ago

      with little to no harm

      Not sure how resource allocation works and how quickly you could be sent back to earth but someone may have to be sacrificed.

      • mipadaitu@lemmy.worldEnglish
        5·
        21 hours ago

        There’s always an excess of resources, just in case of spacecraft failure.

        There are actually already extra crew up there from the recent Boeing failure.

        SpaceX would definitely benefit from having to come get you, since they’re the only launch company with a good track record, and spare capacity. (Unless you’re Russian, which means you’d probably be shot and stuffed in the garbage section of Soyuz)

      • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        Compared to telefragging someone on live tv? Also, on the balance, the media coverage would likely help knock loose some more funding for NASA, if only to try and figure out what the f*** happened.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
      333·
      2 days ago

      This has the possible downside of you being dissected for the benefit of science. One human life for the possibility of discovering the ability to teleport? The astronauts/cosmonauts on the ISS would know about you, but you’d never make the news.

      • Ziglin@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        10 hours ago

        Not too bad of a downside. I’d have myself dissected if it meant people I cared about would have a chance at figuring out teleportation.

      • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
        23·
        2 days ago

        Scientists are not good at keeping secrets, particularly not of this level. Also, the ISS is remarkably public. It would be obvious they were hiding something, at the very least.

        Would I expect to spend some time “volunteering” in a research lab, more than likely. I doubt it would get to dissection level. The risk/cost would be low enough that I would take it.

        • Crashumbc@lemmy.worldEnglish
          2·
          1 day ago

          Yeah many of the transmissions to the space station are public. This would go viral before anyone “higher up” could have a chance to squash it.

          • cynar@lemmy.worldEnglish
            2·
            1 day ago

            That’s also before accounting for the various ground scientists who would rapidly become aware through the private channels. Someone appearing on the ISS would leak beyond containment before anyone could think to cut phone communications, let alone implement it.

  • WarlockLawyer@lemmy.world
    31·
    2 days ago

    Whatever the biggest televised event is in the next twenty four hours. I’m going to materialize naked live in air screaming “the end is nigh unless we repent” and then go into a list of ecological and social reforms.

      • seaQueue@lemmy.world
        8·
        2 days ago

        “The rapture started and I was sent back here, God really wants us to stop using fossil fuels”

        • BatrickPateman@lemmy.world
          4·
          2 days ago

          Planet saved for now but at the cost of giving rise to believes of christian fundamentalists.

          I’d rather have the planet slowly cooked still, tyvm.

    • brrt@sh.itjust.works
      2·
      2 days ago

      I can already hear “The mainstream media is playing tricks on us to keep us from enjoying ourselves by [insert any dumb shit like rolling coal or something]“

      • ApatheticCactus@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        1 day ago

        Odd train of thought: what would the rolling coal equivalent be for an EV? Just wasting fuel for something that looks cool… So high voltage discharge under the car shooting lightning bolts? That actually sounds kinda cool, now that I think about it, but it is wasteful.