As a tall man who likes to walk at night, I have long understood that women alone at night do not wish to encounter me. So when I happen to find myself following a woman down the street, I will either slow down, cross the street, or stop and look at a sign or something for a minute to give her some space.
In a dangerous and shitty world, a person has to find subtle and quiet ways to express care, compassion, and solidarity. It costs me nothing to make a woman feel safer.
on the one hand, you’re right and I agree with you.
on the other hand, I’ve got places to be and other people walk so fucking slow.
This is the way, and good for you.
Purposefully making women afraid they’re about to get assaulted is abhorrent.
While working i am occasionally in parking garages which can be dark and creepy. If i see a woman walking alone I’ll try to make some noise like pulling out my keys. People with bad intentions will be stealthy, hopefully they get that I’m not a threat
You da man brother!
Anon is a piece of shit even if this is just fantasy
Sometimes prophecies are self fullfilling, treat a man like the worst example of the gender he represents, through no fault of his own and you might find he behaves less than appropriately.
I’m not saying that excuses the behaviour, but if women looked at me and immediately thought “potential rapist/murderer” I can’t say that wouldn’t upset me and possibly cause me to act less than amicably.
I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do? Somehow talk the worst male scum out of their depraved behaviour, or somehow try to convince all women that “I’m one of the good ones”? That’s never going to happen no matter how hard I try.
We all need to be realistic and keep things in perspective. It’s not OK to treat people as the worst of the people they identify with, it’s no better than the “all Muslims are terrorists” mentality.
My gf does this constantly. She is afraid of every man on the street. If there is a homeless or god forbid mentally ill person on her path she’s basically terrified.
Yes, she does listen to true crime podcasts. Yes, we live in a relatively safe part of a relatively safe country.
Being scared isn’t really something you can control. So I think what matters is whether that affects how she treats men.
As someone who also is quite scared of strangers when no one is around, I mostly just avoid that situation to begin with. If that’s not possible or it’s just too severe, it’s definitely something where looking into professional help could help her, if it’s available. Though not listening to true crime podcasts would probably be a good start…
Yeah obviously but it is no justification. I definitely understand how material conditions can influence behavior
Or you could just realize that it’s not personal and give signals that you’re friendly when possible. I’m a man, and I walk around my neighborhood a lot by myself. I get different reactions from different women when I pass by or walk behind them, some amicable and some standoffish.
It feels a bit bad when I get the impression that someone is scared of me, but I have the understanding to know that many women are cautious and possibly traumatized, and no one owes me friendliness.
Also, your comparison to Muslims is really off. Most people with prejudice against Muslims are rarely (if ever) exposed to them in real life and have their opinions influenced by conservative media. Women with fear of men in public spaces are usually informed by stories from their friends and their own previous experiences. I’ve witnessed enough to know as much.
So everyone here is saying fuck anon and I agree, but I agree because they are aware of it and intentionally doing things on purpose to exacerbate the situation.
But like, if you’re a physically larger dude (maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin), and you’ve got to walk behind a woman at 2am… it’s just a shitty situation for both people, where both of you feel like you have to do something you shouldn’t have to do (women feeling the need to run, defend themselves, or cry for help, and men feeling the need to change their route, stand around and wait until she leaves, or do something awkward and potentially more scary like announce their presence).
I’m definitely not advocating for women to be less cautious on the streets at night or anything like that at all, it’s an unfortunate reality that they need to stay vigilant and aware to remain safe. It just really sucks that the way it comes across a lot of the time does little to protect anyone from any actual harm, and just makes normal people feel like shit for making someone feel like they’re about to get raped.
If you’re a big guy and you find yourself walking behind a woman at 2am AND, unlike anon, you‘re not a complete sociopath, you have two options in a nutshell. One, you move your ass and overtake, walking fast. Two, you change the side of the road. Both minor inconveniences.
just not changing pace is good enough in my opinion, that makes it look like he was actually chasing her
if he takes the same road and she is scared it’s more of a she problem since he’s just going home
imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future
imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future
Ah yes, why didn’t my parents or their grandparents think to teach their kids that rape and murder is wrong!? It’s all so clear now!!!
Hear hear! As a bigger guy with a faster pace, I have yet to find a way that doesn’t make everyone uncomfortable while also making me frustrated as hell because I can’t walk at my own pace.
Even worse, I’m probably walking with my dog, who likes an even faster pace, and she’s a rescue who looks scary and isn’t yet well behaved
If it makes you feel any better, a large person walking with a scary dog seems much less likely to be a psychopath than just a large person by themselves (to me, at least).
Obviously not to say that large people are psychopaths 😂 just that someone with an animal they’re caring for doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to attack me.
Wear a reflective vest. It makes it obvious you’re just trying to safely walk your dog, makes you less likely to be hit by a car and signals safety because dangerous people don’t usually want to be conspicuous
I think (as a white dude, so take your grains of salt as you please) that a dog would make you less threatening. Makes it clearer what you’re up to, and people bringing their dogs along to mug or rape someone is exceedingly rare.
Anon wants to get shot.
Can the incels who posted and upvoted this please stop ruining gender relations for the rest of us?
It’s a fucking greentext my guy
It could be on Sumerian clay tablets my dude, it would still be about threatening rape for amusement
my buddy
It’s not even real get over yourself and leave instead of just insulting random people on the internet. Get a life lol
Anon is fake and gay never happened.
I’m not going to rape you. I’m a little boy!
