• papalonian@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    So everyone here is saying fuck anon and I agree, but I agree because they are aware of it and intentionally doing things on purpose to exacerbate the situation.

    But like, if you’re a physically larger dude (maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin), and you’ve got to walk behind a woman at 2am… it’s just a shitty situation for both people, where both of you feel like you have to do something you shouldn’t have to do (women feeling the need to run, defend themselves, or cry for help, and men feeling the need to change their route, stand around and wait until she leaves, or do something awkward and potentially more scary like announce their presence).

    I’m definitely not advocating for women to be less cautious on the streets at night or anything like that at all, it’s an unfortunate reality that they need to stay vigilant and aware to remain safe. It just really sucks that the way it comes across a lot of the time does little to protect anyone from any actual harm, and just makes normal people feel like shit for making someone feel like they’re about to get raped.

    • Dayroom7485@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      If you’re a big guy and you find yourself walking behind a woman at 2am AND, unlike anon, you‘re not a complete sociopath, you have two options in a nutshell. One, you move your ass and overtake, walking fast. Two, you change the side of the road. Both minor inconveniences.

      • elidoz@lemmy.ml
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        11 days ago

        just not changing pace is good enough in my opinion, that makes it look like he was actually chasing her

        if he takes the same road and she is scared it’s more of a she problem since he’s just going home

        imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future

        • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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          11 days ago

          imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future

          Ah yes, why didn’t my parents or their grandparents think to teach their kids that rape and murder is wrong!? It’s all so clear now!!!

    • AA5B@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      Hear hear! As a bigger guy with a faster pace, I have yet to find a way that doesn’t make everyone uncomfortable while also making me frustrated as hell because I can’t walk at my own pace.

      Even worse, I’m probably walking with my dog, who likes an even faster pace, and she’s a rescue who looks scary and isn’t yet well behaved

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        If it makes you feel any better, a large person walking with a scary dog seems much less likely to be a psychopath than just a large person by themselves (to me, at least).

        Obviously not to say that large people are psychopaths 😂 just that someone with an animal they’re caring for doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to attack me.

      • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        Wear a reflective vest. It makes it obvious you’re just trying to safely walk your dog, makes you less likely to be hit by a car and signals safety because dangerous people don’t usually want to be conspicuous

      • Eranziel@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        I think (as a white dude, so take your grains of salt as you please) that a dog would make you less threatening. Makes it clearer what you’re up to, and people bringing their dogs along to mug or rape someone is exceedingly rare.