Russian President Vladimir Putin has suffered an emabarassing setback as his feared Satan 2 nuclear arsenal failed four out of five missile tests, according to arms experts and satellite imagery from the launch site.

High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia’s Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile exploded, shows extensive damage.

A crater approximately 60 meters wide at the launch silo at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in northern Russia, along with visible damage in the surrounding area that was not present in images taken earlier in the month.

  • Soup@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I’m sorry the hwhat?!

    I know that a nuke would literally create a hell on earth but there’s no way you can name the fucking thing Satan and not be the bad guy.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Extremely angry at my military for naming it’s unlimited genocide machine “Big Evil Monster” rather than “Widdle Fuzzy Bunny Wabbit”.

      Almost don’t even want them to use it anymore.

      • Soup@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Can just give it a simple code. We don’t need fun names for this stuff.

  • ms.lane@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago

    Fail

    Second greatest military in the world!

    • Bizzle@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Second greatest military in the world

      I think they might be second best in Russia by now lmfao

    • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago

      When both Russia and Ukraine were part of the USSR?

      Second greatest military in the world!

      The USSR hasn’t existed for >30 years, since then, Ukraine and Russia have done little but feed on its corpse. Does anyone honestly think modern Russia has a better military than China?

        • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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          2 months ago

          The USSR couldn’t have achieved a fraction of what it did without all its SSRs working together.

          Hell it probably wouldn’t have survived getting invaded by every country with a military after WWI without both Russia and Ukraine.

  • LouNeko@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Really hard to adhere to quality if money is being pocketed at every corner and then spend outside the hellhole you created.

    • chellomere@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Not so sure. What if these 4/5 nukes explode on the launch pad? Even if this is in a remote area you’ll cause some damage to your own country.

      • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        Most nukes are designed such that they only create a nuclear blast when detonated electronically.

        We’ve had nukes fall out of airplanes and explode, or nuclear-tipped missiles explode in the silo, without a nuclear blast.

        • Anarch157a@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          All of those happened before the modern safeguards were adopted by the US. We’re lucky none of them went super-critical. We just don’t know for sure if the Soviet leftovers Russia has were upgraded to the same atandards.

          • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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            2 months ago

            All of those happened before the modern safeguards were adopted by the US.

            Which modern safeguards are you talking about? There’s been ~32 official broken arrow incidents between 1950 and 1980, and multiple safeguards were tried during that period. Modern 2 point detonation safety goes back to the early 60s

            We just don’t know for sure if the Soviet leftovers Russia has were upgraded to the same atandards.

            We do know the soviets had their own share of accidents. I wasn’t able to find any info on soviet nuclear weapon design safety mechanisms, but I feel like we’d have seen at least one nuclear blast if they didn’t have them.

    • would_be_appreciated@lemmy.ml
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      2 months ago

      Yeah, this is the wildest headline. “Don’t fear it, it only works 20% of the time!” Both the US and Russia have somewhere around 1700 known deployed nuclear warheads able to be launched from air, land, and sea. 20% is still 340 nuclear bombs, all of which are substantially larger than the ones dropped in Japan.

      The fucking audacity to downplay nuclear war.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Russia used to have some of the most advanced rocket science labs and physics programs in the world.

    This is a truly sorry state of affairs for a country that has been strip mined from within.

  • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    It can carry multiple warheads, including nuclear ones, with estimates suggesting it can deliver up to 10–15 independently targetable reentry vehicles (MIRVs).

    Oh good, if only one single missile in Russia’s entire arsenal goes off, we’d only loose 10-15 cities.

    • Zron@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      MIRVs have been a thing for like 50 years.

      The US even took them out of submarine launched missiles, because they made the soviets so nervous we had to promise that we couldn’t delete half of their country in 15 minutes.

      But don’t worry, nuclear war happens so fast, and diplomatic channels are so slow, if anyone launches anything, everyone is practically forced to launch everything or risk losing it. So even if Russia did just launch one to destroy 10-15 cities, all of the cities everywhere would be destroyed anyway.

      • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        If you ever look up at the sky and see 5-10 diagonal lines almost in parallel… well, if you have a firearm nearby, that would be a good time to self-exit for sure.

        • Zron@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I live right next to one of the largest airports in the world.

          I see 5-10 parallel lines in the sky multiple times a day.

          I also live next to one of the largest airports in the world, which is a few miles from a national guard base located right outside one of the largest cities in America.

          I’m probably in the fireball radius of a nuke, assuming the Russians haven’t been embezzling their government money and are still fueling their hydrogen bombs, so if the big red button gets pushed, I’ll just get vaporized about half an hour later.

          Don’t shoot yourself just because you see lines in the sky. You’re either close enough to civilization for planes to make lines in the sky, in which case the bombs will probably get you anyway, or you’re so far out in the sticks that you’ll have plenty of time to make a decision.

    • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      How many kilometers is one stick of dynamite? By one stick, I mean like the size of a soda’s height with a diameter equal or Greater than an A in chemistry. The internal composition being 37.3 grains and the .3 grain was cut and licked properly…so yeah, how many kilometers would that be?

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    The good thing is that Cern will sending them a bunch of great scientists soon. They should figure out how to make the other failures go!

    Right? Or in the US not smart enough to go get all those scientists and give them a grant each to go save the south African penguin?