I wonder if the poster they have to put up will show a picture of Jesus. Evangelicals sure do love those graven images.
They’re the type to use a picture of Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan
For those who do not know, in Exodus, Moses gets pissed off, smashes the tablets people today call the Ten Commandments, goes back up the mountain and Yaweh has him carve new ones with different laws on them. Those laws are the only laws called “Ten Commandments” in the Bible.
They include:
Three times a year all your men are to appear before the Sovereign Lord, the God of Israel. [Good luck with that]
Do not offer the blood of a sacrifice to me along with anything containing yeast
“Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.
As the end of the chapter says:
Moses was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant—the Ten Commandments.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus 34&version=NIV
The Bible cannot be more clear on this point, but it’s always ignored.
“The first offspring of every womb belongs to me, including all the firstborn males of your livestock, whether from herd or flock. 20 Redeem the firstborn donkey with a lamb, but if you do not redeem it, break its neck. Redeem all your firstborn sons.
I read that as commandlets and now I’m worried Powershell has given me brain damage…
- if ((Get-God).Count -gt 1){Set-God -Identity “YHWH”}
- Get-Idol | Remove-Idol
- foreach($godsname in ((Get-God).Name){ if (($speech -like “$godsname”) -and ($speech.vain)) {$speech = “”}}
- Set-Reminder -Start (Get-Date “06/29/2024”) -Reoccurance 7 -Subject “Holy”
- Set-Person -Relation “Mother” -Honor $true; Set-Person -Relation “Father” -Honor $true;
- $murder = $false
- $adultry = $false
- $stealing = $false
- if ((Get-Truth $speech) -eq $false){$speech = “”}
- $NoCovet=(Get-Property -SearchDepth 2) + (Get-Person -Relation “Neighbor”)
PowerShell is an objectively ugly language to read
i’m so sorry.
I very quickly checked wikipedia, because I couldn’t easily identify the extra one. It lists all 16 of the 10 commandments… The table looks like different branches of christianity bundle some of them together (mostly various coveting) or don’t even consider the first and last a commandment, so they always only count to ten. So it’s an easy mistake to make.
But the fact that they couldn’t even count the paragraphs is riddiculous.
Seems like the sort of thing people should know about a central tenet of a pillar of their identity…
But then they’d have to stop eating shrimp, so…
No no. That’s from the old testament. Those rules don’t count anymore now that there is the new testament.
realizes ten commandments are from the old testament
This was done by the jews. I always knew they controlled everything.
Not a good look when something as solid as the ten commandments doesn’t line up between groups with similar beliefs.
Might make some folks want to look under the hood. That certainly won’t increase church attendance.
The text of the Ten Commandments … shall be printed in a large, easily readable font.
Comic Sans it is.
No … Wingdings.
How is Wingdings “easily readable”?
How about Arabic? Or Chinese, simplified Chinese is read by like a billion people, so clearly easily readable, it even has simplified in the name!
Er, hebrew?
Wouldn’t work. The law clearly specifies the exact text, and it’s in English.
Can you write English with Chinese characters?
People certainly try with Cyrillic. And kanji?
Cyrillic seems really difficult with all the vowel shifts, English doesn’t even make sense in its own alphabet. Something like “Ай эм де лорд, дай год.” then?
Moses : The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen…
[drops one of the tablets]
Moses : Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey
What’s funny is that (according to the old testament) when Moses came down off the mountain with the tablets and found everyone worshipping the golden calf, he had a big hissy fit and smashed them. So then after doing quite a bit of murdering he had to go back up the mountain to get a second set. Exodus 32-34
I asked a religious relative how it was ok for Moses to murder people when he had only just be told by God himself “thou shalt not kill”, and she said it was because the don’t kill thing came further down the list than having only the one god.
The bible seems to consider it murder only if it’s another christian.
[if someone] has gone and served other gods and worshiped them, […] you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones.
-Deuteronomy 17:2-5
If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or the wife you embrace or your friend who is as your own soul entices you secretly, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods,’ […] you shall kill him. Your hand shall be first against him to put him to death.
-Deuteronomy 13:6-10
As a note, the Israelites would in later generations go on to kill a shitload of people. It’s one of those things where it seems like the Bible only really considers it murder if God doesn’t sanction it. It’s honestly one of the many sticking points that makes Abrahamic religions a hard sell for modern individuals. That said, if you look at it from a historical perspective, it really comes across more like a religious version of the Code of Hammurabi. It’s less “don’t kill” as a philosophical or religious position and more about sanctions against killing in a practical legal sense. A functioning society has laws that formally govern behavior and the Israelites were essentially an ecclesiarchy, with Moses being both head of state and high priest. The same laws that governed social life were always going to intersect with laws that governed spiritual life.
Moses himself commands an army to genocide before and after Mt Sinai
How the fuck is this not illegal?
Clearly it’s not religious since they added another commandment.
They broke the 10th commandment into two commandments. There should have been a semicolon after 10a, not a new line.
(10a) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house.
(10b) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s."
nor his manservant, nor his maidservant
“Slaves” in the original, but of course we can’t allow any hint of three thousand year old shit not being strictly relevant any more.
