The fuck?

  • Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea

    • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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      15 days ago

      I like that this implies that OP’s mom uses an 8 bit counting system

      I’m imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $547 and thinking “wow, this only cost $35!”

  • Dasus@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    I don’t know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.

        • Victor@lemmy.world
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          15 days ago

          Sorry, I was just memeing. Unless you were playing along, in which case woosh on me.

          • Dasus@lemmy.world
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            15 days ago

            Well I sort of was, but I’m Finnish, so we haven’t exactly got the “don’t sound murderous, try to sound funny” tone right yet. You know how it’s a meme Germans have no sense of humour? We’ll they’ve enough sense of humor to realise people joke about it. We Nordics don’t.

              • Dasus@lemmy.world
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                15 days ago

                It’s probably because there generally isn’t any.

                The punchline to 80% of the “jokes” I heard growing up is a word I don’t want to say so that I don’t seem like a racist.

                Nowadays if you attempt even a little bit of banter to someone, it’s likely that you’ll get an answer of “YE GOT A PROBLEM M8?” (roughly translated.)

                Happened to me twice within the last month. Once because I noted to an adult man that a full-up buss at 14:00 isn’t a karaoke and he shouldn’t be listenint to his phone on full while singing drinking songs with all the kids and parents. He started to yell he’ll kill me on the street and whatnot. I left the best as my stop came up. Went to buy a bevvie He came after me from the bus and stalked me lol.

                The next dude was calmed but also asked me if I got a problem when I was on the side of the road filming birds and he just walked by?

                I would rather live with wild wolves, no shit.

                And I’m not a small guy or anything. I just don’t trust these fuckers. Apparently yesterday there was a stabbing in my building again.

                • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world
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                  14 days ago

                  Do you live in Scotland? I only ask because it’s a perfect description of Edinburgh buses. And there are an inexplicably large number of Finnish people in Edinburgh. Or were 15 to 20 years ago. Also there was a multiple stabbing at one of the places I lived there, and my next door neighbour had killed 3 people by cutting their throats. (Not a nice part of Edinburgh tbh, but by no means the worst)

                • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                  14 days ago

                  Happened to me twice within the last month. Once because I noted to an adult man that a full-up buss at 14:00 isn’t a karaoke and he shouldn’t be listenint to his phone on full while singing drinking songs with all the kids and parents. He started to yell he’ll kill me on the street and whatnot. I left the best as my stop came up. Went to buy a bevvie He came after me from the bus and stalked me lol.

                  I see the feral reputation of the Finns is not wholly unearned

                  I would rather live with wild wolves, no shit.

                  Kind of sounds like you already do XD

                • Victor@lemmy.world
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                  14 days ago

                  Yeesh.

                  I have to ask though, would you consider it “banter” what happened on the bus? I mean, you were completely correct and in the right, when you told him off and said he shouldn’t play music and sing in a full bus. (You’re a good guy for that btw!) But I can’t imagine any culture where this would be considered banter. Possibly somewhere in GB 😆

                  Anyway, I hope you find a way out of there to live in a more peaceful place that suits you better, if that’s what you really want of course. ❤️ Happy 2025 to you!

  • Pacattack57@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    1: go to toilet

    2: kneel in front facing the toilet

    3: place dick between toilet seat and toilet

    4:???

    5: profit