OK Google, how do I reattach a penis?

Then I guess we shouldn’t worry about Earth, because it’ll be fine.

why tho?

Utah and Idaho definitely wouldn’t join California. Both are heavily Mormon/religious, conservative, and backward. Colorado, New Mexico, and Nevada probably would.

You have to admit that putting the words under a different picture would make it different. He’s got you there! Don’t try to wiggle your way out of it!

That shit looks pretty tasty.

Winter is coming.

If you’re lacking paid leave, maybe have your union take it up on your behalf?

Unless…no…

Like he’s going to let us into Heaven to trash it after seeing what slobs we were down here.

Fries, ketchup, makeup, and butt.

Sundown Towns, a book about the history of American racism, specifically the number of towns that had signs up warning black citizens not to be there after sundown. Spoiler: it was pretty much most of the towns. All over. It’s a sobering read, not a pick-me-up.

This is why I follow every single text or email with a, “Hey, did you just see my message?” phone call.

I’m ranked platinum in Rocket League, which is pretty damn impressive if you know nothing about Rocket League rankings.

That would require a functional system of government.

If a squash can make you smile… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Damn. That’s worth savoring.

“When Putin nuts, I intend to keep sucking, folks.”

Strawberry eclair so it blends in.

Agree to disagree.

Not again. :(