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You forgot about the Illinois Nazis.
I hate Illinois nazis.
Surprised Hawaii doesn’t just say “Ask Japan how it went”
As someone who lives in the “wouldn’t be that tough.” That’s big talk for someone who likely doesn’t want to spend their last moments desperately clawing at the roof of a pine box.
I’m from Humboldt, it would be Afghanistan guerrilla warfare in the tallest forest in the world
is this a reference to something in particular? confused non-USian here…
Buried alive
Minnesota is also missing the “wears shorts in winter” tag.
Happens all the time in negative degree weather.
it hits -30f, you put on the shorts, the light hoodie, and you go out and get milkshakes.
Hasn’t stopped us before!
Milkshakes in negative temps hit different.
hit better.
Fuckin delicious.
That tag could probably be on the entirety of the North. From Michigan
Yeah that’s fair, just pepper that tag across the top.
I’m far more afraid of the Nazis in Baton Rouge running this state than I am of Acadians hunting out in the swamps. Just don’t go in the swamp! The Nazis are actively making life worse whether you seek them or not.
why democrats can’t have guns?
I know that’s probably not what was meant, but I’m reading “seals” as the animals, and the image is glorious.
It likely is the animals. San Diego has a lot of seals on their coast.
The Pacific Northwest would be horrible to invade. Even if the people don’t offer much resistance trying to get through the Rocky Mountains would be disastrous. But they actually have militias out there too.
Texas should just say “Guns”.
North Dakota should probably be “no civilization, no resources, and no warmth.”
ND has oil and nukes.
And about 13 guns per person, although admittedly the people are scattered far and wide
Does it really have oil?
And I know it’s got a fuckton of missile silos but I imagine in an invasion they aren’t terribly useful. I guess maybe an after you take complete control then it is
Lol, I do wear shorts in winter. We have a lot of guns up here too. Probably more guns than people.
Ah yes, those dangerous gangs of San Louis Obispo in California are really getting out of hand!
I think they’re trying to reference LA and don’t realize how far south it actually is.
May Florida Man protect us.
“That still know the old ways”
A friend and I took an out-of-state friend to a bar and we ordered moonshine. My friend and I could not get over how wrong it felt to buy moonshine in a public place. With a permit.
I’m still surprised you can buy it legally.
That ain’t moonshine.
Moonshine is what you get from a shady hillbilly type off the side of a dirt road sitting in a shack with two shotguns on a wall. You ask him if he got any and he says something like “not fur free” with an almost toothless smile. He’s got horrible hair a stringy beard, and you get the sense he’s the kind of guy who don’t wash his hands a lot.
You give him the money first, then he takes a shotgun and walks behind the shack. He hands you the two gallons you bought, one in one of those plastic gallon jugs you get milk in and the other a weird looking metal pot that doesn’t look close to a gallon but you realize it’s probably best not to argue with this guy.
He pulls out a metal cup and another jug (that he left behind under the table he was at to get your stuff) and says “firs ones on me” pours you some, and you better fucking take it.
Yeah, there’s a real risk that this stuff might have less safe alcohols in it, but these guys don’t wanna die so it’s usually safe so you take the swig and regret everything that lead you up to this point as you cough down the highest proof corn and something else liquor you’ve ever had.
You politely tell him thank you and he gives you that grotesque smile as you drive away.
Ha which this reminds me of a story my dad told us when we asked if there was a shortcut through where we were going in the Ozarks. It was a time before phones.
“Peopleproblems, you don’t take shortcuts around here. You stick to the main roads, follow the signs, and make darn sure you have a map. When I was in college, engaged to your mom, we were on our way back from doxable university and we decided to do that, cause my friend (has a name), said he knew of one. We went with it - we came up to a stop sign, and this old beat up truck pulled up next to us. A short ugly looking thin as bones guy with a beard and no hair, with his unfortunately worse looking daughter. He gets out of the truck after he places his shot gun on the dashboard drunkenly steps on over to us and says ‘One o’ yee need to murry my daughter. She ain’t purty but she cook and clean real good. I don care wheech one o’ y’all does, but we got e’rything ready. Jus follow us on down ‘ere.’ My friend says something stupid, I can’t remember what, but his response was what I won’t forget: ‘I ain’t given yee a choice.’ As he heads back to the truck my friend just says ‘Gun it!’ and the little Gremlin I was in worked the hardest it ever had. Once we got back on the highway there was a mix of laughing and crying as we were facing a real shotgun wedding.”
We were young at the time, so he left the sad part out. Around there incest/rape was a known thing, and she had probably gotten pregnant. He was likely trying to find someone to marry her so he didn’t get the blame, she didn’t get the problems associated with being a single pregnant mother in hillbilly land, and the whole problem is solved. And he’d do it at gun point if he had to.
Why you doing things the hard way? Guy I buy from is an old family friend and he’ll meet you in a parking lot somewhere or you can ask to swing by his house.
No that’s the correct way to do it.
The way I described it is the “yeah you can literally do this lol” way
To be fair, the term “moonshine” nowadays doesn’t exclusively refer to illegally produced liquor and is often used to describe non-barrel-aged whiskey made from corn.
That stuff’s for tourists. I haven’t drank a drop in 7 years and I can still get you a jar of real shine if you want.
That’s exactly what I’m trying to say! Absolutely baffling. We kept telling him we could get him some of the real deal but he is just so shockingly adverse to anything he thinks might be even a teensie bit less-than-legal and I still can’t understand how I became friends with someone like him.
all the retired people in Florida too
