I have a question for lemmy since it’s comprised of mostly extremely intelligent linux users.
I am poor and supposedly have a particular mental health issue according to many doctors.
I was previously on disability and started working and when I did, I was hit with a huge amount of back taxes and penalties and fees and I was unable to save up anything.
Something bad happened this past year and as a result of this stress and constant ongoing extreme financial stress, I am now having some symptoms. I also work remotely and can’t afford to work remotely because of the aggressive tax collection, since housing and utilities are needed for remote work. If the tax collectors had left me with more money to pay for basic bills and medical care, I probably could have kept working, but the agent handling my case is uncompromising and doesn’t care if I don’t have enough money for medical care. I also make just barely too much at my job to qualify for need-based aid with my situation, which all follow government guidelines that don’t take into account government withholdings. I am not yet evicted, but on track for that and am behind on many bills including rent.
My symptoms now are pretty bad and I have to make plans to reduce expenses and go back on disability. I am having problems working on some days, even when I want to, due to extreme depression, which may have ended up happening even without the tax collectors extreme tactics. I have an offer of some financial help by a family member who on rare occasion was physically and emotionally abusive, but it may involved staying nearby. I probably would not speak with this person at all but for my poverty.
I am also afraid if I accept this help and have this family member in my life, they will somehow become involved in my disability care and be controlling or demanding conservatorship power. I have no records of the extraordinarily infrequent physical abuse, nor do I wish to disclose that in a clinical setting with possibly religious prejudiced zealot clincians who already dislike me, nor would I likely be believed. This person is also old and likely to die within 5 years if not within a year and on some level I feel guilty about not seeing them, but also feel like having this person in my life would show a lack of self-respect.
If I do anything right now to ruin my credit score, I may be stuck where I am, in a higher cost area that I can’t easily afford with only mild job security and no savings, which is precarious.
This is a particularly difficult situation to give advice on because it could be totally harmless or completely dangerous, depending on the details.
You’re probably best talking to a therapist or other highly trusted individual who knows the specifics of the situation instead of random internet strangers.
I dont think they have the money for a therapist.
This person is also old and likely to die within 5 years if not within a year and on some level I feel guilty about not seeing them,
Above all else: please stop feeling guilty.
I am serious with “above all else”. This is even more important than money.
but also feel like having this person in my life would show a lack of self-respect.
Not sure what this means. If it is another way of making you feel guilty, then avoid it.
It is OK to take money from this person if you can do so without giving him any kind of power over you.
I’m not sure what country you’re in - in the UK there is a charity called “Citizens Advice” which, as the name suggests, can help you with legal, financial, and housing issues. They aren’t a type of benefit, but they know the law and your rights and will give correct advice and provide advocacy and support if required, is there anything equivalent to this where you live?