Small things. Sounds. The temperature of the air. The fact that my side isn’t hurting right now. The kids costumes who were just trick or treating at my house.
Gratitude and helping others
I found happiness. I am almost done with it. You want it after me?
Why are you done with it?
Because it’s my turn next, and they’ve been hogging it all night!
Hey, that guy is hogging all the happiness! Get him!
A few years ago, my wife and I left the Mormon church. That helped a lot. Along that line coffee makes me happy.
Coffee would have made me an apostate too. Damn, I love coffee. Live and drink, friend.
Game the system by having an unhappy childhood so being an adult is so much better? I enjoy being a grownup so much. What are you unhappy with? Were you happy as a kid and if so, what made you happy? I didn’t like school, felt alienated and in general kids have no control over their own lives. So adulthood suits me much better.
You nailed it for some of us. What do you do with a guy who went balls to the wall well into his 30s to make up for it?
I’ve felt happiness a few times. I’m thinking it’s time to fight for it.
I do think some (maybe most) of it is luck/brain chemistry, I feel happy a lot as I get older. Part is just that deep appreciation I feel when I wake up and realize that instead of school I will go to a job that pays me. Having kids was stressful but absolutely did increase my enjoyment in life, my desire to live, if that makes sense. More good than bad by a large margin.
Good news is if you are 40-50 you are getting to that age too - news articles say it’s like we sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor but I think bullshit because I can’t slow down yet and still feel it, it has to be changing brain chemistry and perspective - happiness comes easier now and also fewer things irritate me, youth is an irritable time.
And I guess finally, I really do think luck plays a big part - not in outward circumstances (though obviously luck is very important there too, circumstances don’t guarantee happiness) more in the ability to feel certain things. So my actual advice is to adjust perspective if you can, be grateful for the things you can, get physically active to the extent you can and take time to do pleasurable things because even if you are not wired to feel that rush of “happy” you may still be able to feel content and thankful and good.
Hobbies, spending time wirh friends and families, eating, murdering vagrants, helping the needy, and some people even enjoy comraderie with people they work with.
It comes down to figuring out what makes you happy and if you have trouble you just need to try new things.
by not trying to compare themselves to anyone else
I find happiness getting lost in projects, projects being anything & everything from writing to designing to stuff around the house to whatever. Just something that gets me obsessed for at least a few days or weeks. I can’t predict when it will happen, it just has to be a sufficient problem for me to look at.
I also find happiness with some people, but that sort of happiness is unpredictable as well since people have their own lives going on and feelings can change over time. Getting too close to people though can just as easily make my life feel meaningless and make me depressed when things turn sour. I tend to crave affection and physical touch, so this is a hard one for me to just ignore this.
- Take time off from social media once in a while, or at least avoid doomscrolling all day. Bad stories generate FAR more engagement than good stories, and every form of media knows this. If 100,000 people in your area have an average-to-good day and 5 people have terrible days, all 5 stories presented to you will detail how things are in your area are terrible.
- Physical health affects mental health and vice versa. Eat healthy (or healthier). Stay hydrated. Get 7-9 hours of sleep regularly and use sleep hygeine. Get 90+ minutes of exercise (anything that raises your heartrate) a week which is like 15 minutes/day. Don’t worry about doing it all immediately - if you try to change everything at once you’re more likely to get overwhelmed and burn out. It’s way better to make slow, sustainable changes over months than it is to do a difficult crash course for a short time and get fed up with the process.
- Do thankfulness exercises. When I go to bed at night I think of 3 things I’m thankful for in the day. On average or bad days it may be that I wasn’t in constant/chronic pain, that I got to eat and drink, and that I’m in a safe place and a soft bed. Just remembering those basics (that many of us take for granted) helps keep me aware of good things in my life.
- Find ways to enjoy hobbies that require participation - arts, sports, board/video games, whatever. Just something other than passively taking in TV/online media. This will help you feel engaged and double points if it’s something that allows for improvement because you’ll feel rewarded as you get better.
Contentment is easier to find than happiness
Happiness is fleeting. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re not. I was told as a young man that what I should seek instead is contentment, because someone content with their place in life will be happier more often. That said, a lot of people find satisfaction and happiness from helping others. Volunteering, and being a part of your community gives someone a sense of belonging, and purpose.
If advertising is to be believed, it’s by partaking in goods and services.
I try to embrace my hobbies. Motorcycle rides, baking, trying new beers, gaming with friends, reading, etc. It can be hard finding the time to do it all, but I try my best.
It helps that I’ve already made peace with the fact I’m never gonna be rich enough to do anything truly incredible, like travel the world for 6 months, or retire :/.
I‘m completely switching up my life right now to live to 87 to be able to watch the total eclipse on my birthday
This is key - goals!
For me:
- Set goals
- Accomplish those goals
That’s what gives me the best feedback. The more realistic goals I set and the more often I accomplish them, the better I feel. Bonus points for setting “due dates” for bigger goals and seeing if you can meet your own deadline.
