Pretty great. I have money and free time.
It’s awesome. Sure, I have moments in life that suck regardless, but in those moments I always think to myself “Wow, this would be even worse if I had kids.”
In my mid 30’s. Find myself thinking the same. Also when I’m feeling great it’s “there’s no way i could be enjoying this if i had to worry about kids”
Yup, exactly. It just seems like there’s no time to relax when you have kids, you always have to be “on”.
I used to take a bus home from work, and a woman that lived in my apartment took the same bus, so we always ended up walking into the building together. I’ll never forget that EVERY time when she opened her apartment door, you could hear two little kids yell “MOMMY!” the second that door was opened. Maybe some people love that, but to me it always filled me with a sense of dread and exhaustion. Here was this woman who just spent a full day at work and now she has to come home and essentially start her second job of being with her kids, who of course want all her attention. I felt horrible for her, and it wasn’t like she was skipping home all happy to see them, either.
Some people like it, which I’m happy for, they’re the ones who should have children. But it’s not for everyone and it shouldn’t be stigmatized. I will happily pay taxes to fund kinder care and school. I see the value in society for kids. Just not in my own home.
[I’m] in my mid-30s*
Shit that’s how you grammar!?
Syntax, not grammar
Ok. I’m still going to omit it in the future.
Omitting is fine… just a bit ambiguous. It’s the apostrophe misuse that matters :)
Just turned 50. Was childless by choice. But I Got custody of my 12 year old niece two years ago. (Very small family and There was no one else to take her.). I love her but I do miss my adult freedom.
It’s good. Don’t have to worry about paying for any of it.
Elementary school
Middle school
High school
College
Helping out after they finish college and haven’t found a job
All the stuff during the summer
Not having to hear “ but why?!” Every ten seconds
Not having to worry about how they’ll survive in this fucked up world.
I sort of see the appeal of having kids, but I can barely keep things together for myself. There’s no way I can support myself and kids. Even with my boyfriends income and mine, it’s just not realistic.
This is the key behind the fertility crisis of first world countries. SHITS TOO EXPENSIVE. A house is 10 years worth of income, college like 3 years worth, a car (which needs to be replaced every 5-10 years) around a years worth, plus food, bills, taxes and all of this other shit makes it impossible.
Yearly childcare is a years worth of income in plenty of places, so there’s that too.
They told me I’d change my mind about not wanting kids when I got older. I’m still waiting for it to change.
As someone who didn’t want kids and then had them later in life, your mind doesn’t really change until after you have them. That’s when I was like Oh
At least that’s what it was like for me. Plenty of people’s minds never change even after kids sadly.
Seems unwise to take that risk. What if I don’t change my mind?
Absolutely. Definitely not recommending chancing something like that haha. Just saying you might never change your mind and that’s ok. But also if a kid came into your life somehow, don’t panic! It might be ok
No ragrets.
no rugrats
It feels amazing.
I wake up to a quiet, clean house every day.
Pardon my French but it feels fucking awesome. I’ve been able to travel the world. I have developed hobbies that I wouldn’t be able to do so with kids. I have saved a lot of money and I have been able to advance my career.
As for passing my knowledge/experience, I volunteer at various charities where I can influence young minds. I don’t believe that passing on genes down the line is the best I can do. The best I can do is to help young people achieve their goals.
Now, to address few some clichés. On my deathbed I will get the glass of water from a highly paid nurse. The “warm bed” is not the issue for me. When I go I will leave my possessions to a charity of my choice.
I love it but even in high school, I knew I didn’t want kids. People told me seeing my friends have kids would cause me to change my mind but it only reinforced my preference. Having kids is a huge amount of work and commitment (not to mention the expense). I love to travel and I’ve been able to go to places and do things you can’t (or just wouldn’t want to) do with kids. I also like that I was able to take risks with my career. It’s much easier to start a business or join an early stage company or whatever if you don’t need the stability kids need.
So, for me, it’s amazing. I feel for people who want kids but never had them, though. I know a few and they’re happy — freedom is a nice consolation prize — but it wasn’t their dream.
Great!
Honestly? Kinda lonely. I’ll be 40 in a few months. I’m a woman, if the perspective matters .
I was engaged to the man I thought I’d marry and have kids with, but it didn’t turn out to be the case, and although I learned how to choose better and what to look out for, I also wonder if I’m ever going to get to have a family of my own. It’s been 6 years now since that fell apart, and I had to do a lot in that time to get back onto my feet, but the few relationships I’ve had since then are fleeting. Men seem afraid of commitment now, and it’s hard not to completely fall to the idea that I’m just too old, which is what society is consistently screaming at me.
I don’t feel old.
I am tired of searching though. At some point I will get to where I’m too old and that makes me sad to think about.
At some point we’re too old to have biological children, yes, but my 72 year old father has been in a new relationship for about a year and they seem super happy together.
(Edited for clarity.)
I’m not good around kids, so I made a decision to be without children pretty early on. So, to answer your question, I guess it feels… normal? It’s hard to describe in more detail, because I don’t have a reference to compare it to.
That said, I’ve seen what kind of struggles - emotional, financial or otherwise - my kid-having friends and family have been going through and I would be a liar if I said I never thought “I’m glad I don’t have to go through this shit” more than on one occasion.
I’m glad I don’t have to go through this shit
I’ve thought that so many times seeing people’s children around me.
No regrets
