I’ve seen this reposted at least 3 times now, and it bothers me each time because we have no idea the story behind it. We only know what’s written down, we don’t even know if the person who wrote the caption witnessed the event. Was it fragile masculinity? Perhaps?
Yes. I once saw an episode of Maury where a man found out he wasn’t the genetic father of his 1 year old daughter, and he started crying and then punching the floor. Is that toxic masculinity or is that a person being sad?
No, punching signals anger. Anger doesn’t have to be dangerous - for instance punching a wall, or the floor. Emotions are normal, we don’t always deal with them in the most optimal manner, but I wouldn’t label someone beating up the floor because he just found out he was NOT the father as “dangerous”.
I’d be more forgiving that it’s a pretty extreme scenario most people won’t experience in their lives, but I do think we have a responsibility to handle our emotions in healthy ways. Punching shit is dangerous. You can hurt yourself, and even if not, it’s a signal to me that you are capable of causing harm because you can’t control your anger. I’m not sticking around to find out my body may be next.
Keep in mind, anger is often if not usually a secondary emotion to pain, fear, sadness, etc. Anger can be a great motivator, but again, how it’s expressed is important. Use your words, find some other action that doesn’t scare people (like take boxing classes where that’s the point), or process it on your own first.
I’d say taking it out on a toilet stall would fall into at least attempting to not scare someone. Unless you’re like, terrified of property damage you probably didn’t witness happen. It’s a wall in a secluded place designed for privacy. I can EASILY picture a scenario where someone receives bad news, goes to the bathroom to have their mental break in relative privacy, and slams their fist into the wall a bit harder than intended. This looks like one hit to me, so it’s not like they’re sitting there hammering away at the wall. That plaster is EASY to put a hole in. Life is messy, people are generally trying their best, no one got hurt, let’s extend empathy rather than mockery.
I hope I wasn’t coming across as mocking? On the flip side, we should be able to laugh at ourselves…Some people laugh because they’re uncomfortable. If you want us to be empathetic to someone losing their shit for a sec, try to have some empathy for those that it scares. You don’t have to witness it for it to have an emotional impact.
See, if anything, this comment should be framed and labeled toxic masculinity.
In an effort to extend as much charity and empathy possible, what makes you say that? In my experience, it’s not a hard and fast rule, the people who exploit those emotions are just shitty people. I’ve definitely felt that people were using my own sadness or other emotional vulnerabilities against me, and I’ve felt the opposite - love and support getting through those emotions. I tossed out the people who used me, and kept the ones around who supported me.
Edit: hahah, kinda foot in mouth here, I just realized you’re the guy who posted about Medicare and jobs earlier, and I kinda mocked you here. Imma leave this post as it stands, because I think it’s a good conversation starter. I’ll try to do better moving forward!
This week I found out I am losing medicade, food stamps and unemployment because one of my previous jobs won’t provide the right paper work. That feels pretty wall punch worthy
Sounds like you’re in a very rough spot at the moment. Keep going. I won’t promise you everything will be solved, but things will change, inevitably, and change could be better. Good luck.
Guys point is, we don’t know the why. We only know the what. Sure, I think everyone can agree it’s not the healthiest coping, but I don’t know too many people who choose the healthy option in a state of extreme emotion. Is there ANY scenario you could imagine this being understandable, even if not good or healthy? Lots of people listing scenarios where I could TOTALLY see getting a rather reasonable person into such a mental state.
I’ve seen this reposted at least 3 times now, and it bothers me each time because we have no idea the story behind it. We only know what’s written down, we don’t even know if the person who wrote the caption witnessed the event. Was it fragile masculinity? Perhaps?
For all we know, guy had just received some horrible/devastating news.
The assumptions leading to both the ‘framing’ act and the gleeful posting of it on social media are just a manifestation of thinly-veiled misandry.
Is it normal to you to see people punch walls when they get devastating news?
I’d rather think maybe someone tripped and fell into it if we’re looking for charitable ideas.
Yes. I once saw an episode of Maury where a man found out he wasn’t the genetic father of his 1 year old daughter, and he started crying and then punching the floor. Is that toxic masculinity or is that a person being sad?
Crying signals sadness. Punching signals danger.
No, punching signals anger. Anger doesn’t have to be dangerous - for instance punching a wall, or the floor. Emotions are normal, we don’t always deal with them in the most optimal manner, but I wouldn’t label someone beating up the floor because he just found out he was NOT the father as “dangerous”.
I’d be more forgiving that it’s a pretty extreme scenario most people won’t experience in their lives, but I do think we have a responsibility to handle our emotions in healthy ways. Punching shit is dangerous. You can hurt yourself, and even if not, it’s a signal to me that you are capable of causing harm because you can’t control your anger. I’m not sticking around to find out my body may be next.
Keep in mind, anger is often if not usually a secondary emotion to pain, fear, sadness, etc. Anger can be a great motivator, but again, how it’s expressed is important. Use your words, find some other action that doesn’t scare people (like take boxing classes where that’s the point), or process it on your own first.
I’d say taking it out on a toilet stall would fall into at least attempting to not scare someone. Unless you’re like, terrified of property damage you probably didn’t witness happen. It’s a wall in a secluded place designed for privacy. I can EASILY picture a scenario where someone receives bad news, goes to the bathroom to have their mental break in relative privacy, and slams their fist into the wall a bit harder than intended. This looks like one hit to me, so it’s not like they’re sitting there hammering away at the wall. That plaster is EASY to put a hole in. Life is messy, people are generally trying their best, no one got hurt, let’s extend empathy rather than mockery.
I hope I wasn’t coming across as mocking? On the flip side, we should be able to laugh at ourselves…Some people laugh because they’re uncomfortable. If you want us to be empathetic to someone losing their shit for a sec, try to have some empathy for those that it scares. You don’t have to witness it for it to have an emotional impact.
Crying presets vulnerability that is looked down on.
I’m not sure what you mean.
The episode of Maury I saw, the guy found out he wasn’t the father and started break dancing all over the stage, it was great.
See, if anything, this comment should be framed and labeled toxic masculinity.
In an effort to extend as much charity and empathy possible, what makes you say that? In my experience, it’s not a hard and fast rule, the people who exploit those emotions are just shitty people. I’ve definitely felt that people were using my own sadness or other emotional vulnerabilities against me, and I’ve felt the opposite - love and support getting through those emotions. I tossed out the people who used me, and kept the ones around who supported me.
Edit: hahah, kinda foot in mouth here, I just realized you’re the guy who posted about Medicare and jobs earlier, and I kinda mocked you here. Imma leave this post as it stands, because I think it’s a good conversation starter. I’ll try to do better moving forward!
I’m pretty sure punching a wall because your fantasy football league is losing is an unhealthy way of processing anger.
This week I found out I am losing medicade, food stamps and unemployment because one of my previous jobs won’t provide the right paper work. That feels pretty wall punch worthy
I feel you bud. Sometimes life just blindsides you and you need an outlet. I hope things improve for you soon.
Probably not. I got my own mental issues to. I almost begged for the job on my last interview. Did not go well.
Sounds like you’re in a very rough spot at the moment. Keep going. I won’t promise you everything will be solved, but things will change, inevitably, and change could be better. Good luck.
Guys point is, we don’t know the why. We only know the what. Sure, I think everyone can agree it’s not the healthiest coping, but I don’t know too many people who choose the healthy option in a state of extreme emotion. Is there ANY scenario you could imagine this being understandable, even if not good or healthy? Lots of people listing scenarios where I could TOTALLY see getting a rather reasonable person into such a mental state.