Joined the Army thinking I was going to do some good in the world for my country.
When I was a dumb kid, me and other dumb kids found some paving tiles and decided to break them by throwing them in the air. Unfortunately, I was really bad at aiming, caught it on my head and caused permanent spinal damage.
The doctor recommended strength training, because my muscles would overtaxed by compensating for my wonky spine, which I promptly ignored because, again, I was a dumb kid and girls don’t lift weights. So from age 10 to 19 ish I basically had debilitating neck pains every few months which had me stuck in bed on painkillers and muscle relaxants.
After 9 years of being an idiot, I started listening to the doctors, lifted weights, and basically never had a sore neck again. The main downside is that clothes shopping is hard now.
Mid threesome i had an idea for a position to try. Well, that idea got me a penile fracture. 0/10 would not recommend
I was out of sugar, so I tried to sweeten Kool-Aid with honey. Nope. Just god-awful.
That reminds me of when I tried mixing milk with orange juice because I saw it online. Then, I went into denial trying to keep it down because people wouldn’t just go on the internet and lie, right?
I once tried to be a discord kitten at 16 for a day as a joke and also out of curiosity of the outcome.
Dont.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss of mental health. Getting the vile shit of the internet directed art you as an adult is awful, can’t imagine how tough it is for a 16y/o.
Yea… it was pretty rough first discovering discord. When I did the Kitten thing, I pretended to be 14. My dms were FLOODED in mere seconds, and I wish I was exaggerating. In 3 minutes I got 90 different dms from people. All male. All of em wanted to fuck me. I never even listed anything remotely NSFW or romantic in my server intro. I just said “Hey! 14yo here, I like to play roblox n stuff sometimes and cosplay! I’m just here hoping to make some more friends ;w;”
I feel like I need a shower after reading that but also that’s kinda funny
trying to unscrew a stubborn hex standoff with my teeth instead of waiting until I could get my driver
Got a discount dog from the pound. It had been adopted and the returned.
I was thinking sweet a $31 dog
Nope. 16 years later I still have this nightmare of an animal
Good on you for giving him a home instead of turning him away tho
“My hair’s getting a bit long, and my fringe keeps getting in my eyes. It can’t be that hard to give it a little trim, right?” 5 minutes later “…I’m going out for dinner in just over an hour. How quickly can I get to a hairdressers?”
My ex had long hair and wanted me to cut it, he pulled it over one shoulder and said “Cut it, just cut it here” and I said “no, it will be slanty” (because he had it pulled over to one side). He insisted, I shrugged and did it .
“IT’S SLANTY, WHAT DID YOU DO!”
Stepping out of a moving vehicle
Took a joy ride on a bulldozer. We built jumps with it and then went over them as fast as that thing would go. No one got hurt and it was a great time, but I think back to how dangerous and stupid it was (no seat belts, one person drove and the rest of us just held onto the cab for dear life, right above the tracks), and realize how lucky we were that nothing bad happened.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a famous inventor. I had this idea that people could stop wearing glasses by getting a prescription car windshields. There are SO MANY drawbacks, but as a kid you don’t think of those things.
I once drove drunk. This was long enough ago the statute of limitations has expired. I shouldn’t have done it, I was really lucky that I didn’t hurt someone or get arrested. For the next 15ish years that I still drank, my limit was 1 drink if I was driving.
This was before Uber & Lyft were a thing, but I still could’ve made arrangements with the bar manager “look dude your bartenders kept serving me when I was visibly drunk, so let me leave my car here overnight without towing it so I can take a cab home, and I won’t say shit to anyone.”
Her name was Michelle.
Drive-thru surgery.
