I used to love this. Arrive at work around 06h (getting up at 4:30, 1h drive), do loads of work without noise or people bothering me. Downside was I would go to bed around 21h so my social life was shit as most of my friends work until late and are down to chill from around 20h. Even during weekends this day-night cycle meant my social life was shit. Also my colleagues never saw me starting work so early, so they would always look angry and I would always have to defend myself when leaving early every day. But I could do a week’s work in a single day this way and I could enjoy the day during sunlight when I got home making me feel less stressed by work in general. It didn’t feel like my daily life consisted of being a work slave, more like I had something useful to do in the first half of the day and loads of time to relax, be creative and active the other half.
I have very deep connections with my friends. Not something you just make with anyone new. We’ve been through so much together. We’re there for each other through better and through worse. Even though my life is horrible and I’m completely fucked up and broken, I feel rich with the friendships I have, as not many people can say they have as many friends as I have, with the deep connections my friends and I share.
Now I don’t work anymore, I’m struggling to survive with PTSD due to military deployment (which is an organisation which goes against everything what I stand for, but somehow I ended up there, stuck for 15 years. I’m an anarchist, can you believe it?), together with autism, depression and apparently a personality disorder, highly likely some ADHD, which is a perfect cocktail to make everything untreatable and worse.
But now I have time to see my friends again, who support me, and who I can support so I can feel a purpose in life again.
Sorry for making this extremity heavy all of a sudden, but I felt I needed to explain why I would never trade any of my friends for anything in the world.
I used to love this. Arrive at work around 06h (getting up at 4:30, 1h drive), do loads of work without noise or people bothering me. Downside was I would go to bed around 21h so my social life was shit as most of my friends work until late and are down to chill from around 20h. Even during weekends this day-night cycle meant my social life was shit. Also my colleagues never saw me starting work so early, so they would always look angry and I would always have to defend myself when leaving early every day. But I could do a week’s work in a single day this way and I could enjoy the day during sunlight when I got home making me feel less stressed by work in general. It didn’t feel like my daily life consisted of being a work slave, more like I had something useful to do in the first half of the day and loads of time to relax, be creative and active the other half.
It’s crazy how much more you can get done in one calm uninterrupted hour than in a whole very active afternoon.
Find new early morning friends. Meeting up at dennys for coffee and pancakes hits different at 4:30
I have very deep connections with my friends. Not something you just make with anyone new. We’ve been through so much together. We’re there for each other through better and through worse. Even though my life is horrible and I’m completely fucked up and broken, I feel rich with the friendships I have, as not many people can say they have as many friends as I have, with the deep connections my friends and I share.
Now I don’t work anymore, I’m struggling to survive with PTSD due to military deployment (which is an organisation which goes against everything what I stand for, but somehow I ended up there, stuck for 15 years. I’m an anarchist, can you believe it?), together with autism, depression and apparently a personality disorder, highly likely some ADHD, which is a perfect cocktail to make everything untreatable and worse.
But now I have time to see my friends again, who support me, and who I can support so I can feel a purpose in life again.
Sorry for making this extremity heavy all of a sudden, but I felt I needed to explain why I would never trade any of my friends for anything in the world.