Did you not?

It’s almost like listening to my crazy rants predicts the future.

Hope you guys don’t have those loyalty rewards cards to grocery stores or pharmacies. Oh, who am I kidding? All of you do.

Go look in any Cleveland community you can find. You’ll find me essentially poking it with a stick.

C’mon…be active…

Nope. Just me.

Even when Street Pass existed on DS, a system that sold some absurd amount like 160 million units, I never once got a street pass interaction.

And now you think a realworld implementation of street pass for Lemmy, a service with 60k users, is going to be anything besides you wondering where everyone is???

Oh nooooooo…

…

…anyways.

Edit: once i had a couple living above me. One night they came home late and fucked themselves up the stairs. Slowly.

That was the most uncomfortable experience i had with neighbors.

Should have joined in.

I mean…IS it offensive? Maybe if you already planned to kill kids.

Oh! I get it. It’s offensive to cops. Got it.

Well, this was back in the 90s. Back when they were still good.

When I was 8 years old, my sister ordered an XL pizza from papa johns. And I said “Ok…but what are YOU having?” She laughed it off as me saying I’d eat the whole thing myself. I saw no joke. So I made her order a second pizza for herself. She got a small. And when I was done with my pizza, I ate half of her pizza. She then accused me of playing some prank on her. She searched her apartment up and down claiming I was hiding the pizza somewhere. I was like “YOU WATCHED ME EAT MOST OF IT!!!”

My stomach did not have an “off” button. At least not until decades later when they removed 2/3rds of my colon. Now I can eat something small to medium sized and feel like I’m full.

But back then? I honestly think if you’d have put 10 XL pizzas in front of me, I’d have eaten them all if I liked the toppings. Then asked for snacks later.

Fuck yeah. I’d be happy living nextdoor to an immigrant, as long as they were quiet and respectful.

Then again, that’s true of ANY neighbor. I have no issue with neighbors, regardless of background/race, as long as they’re quiet and respectful.

I just want a calm and quiet night when I’m home.

None of this means anything. This country doesn’t mean anything. Nothing stands for anything. It’s all just a back and forth. Good will not prevail. It’s just cocksuckers getting gheir way, and making others suck their cock on the way down. That’s all this is. Human suffering doesn’t matter. Peoples lives don’t matter. It’s all just a dick measuring contest to these people. A little over a million people died during covid. Trump didn’t care. Then Biden took over and provided vaccines. But nobody cared. They were just told by their government for 8 months it was all a hoax. And then Biden has to deal with gaza, he doesn’t care. He could have sent Ukraine permission to use weapons deep in russia for 2 years. He didn’t care. These judges won’t care. Being human doesn’t matter. Nobody has any rights. Consume commercial goods. Amazon has you by the balls.

goes to sit in a dark corner

So, basically the owl from the tootsie roll commercials.

One…ah-ToWHO…three!

crunch

Its not that we tried nothing and are all out of ideas. It just that we didn’t try to think of any solutions. We didn’t make any attempts. And we let the corporations get away with anything for profit. We prioritized our buying hot pockets and killing off the planet to make sure some rich CEO can buy his 14th jet, and another rich asshole dports team owner can build a new stadium every year by charging the tax payers who may never even watch sports.

This is the result.

I TRIED telling you guys, we need to form a mob, and chop off these assholes heads. But it got treated as a joke, like “ha ha, right! Could you imagine??? Ha ha ha”

Yes. I CAN imagine. Are you laughing now?

under…pressure…?

vanilla ice riff

looks around

That checks out.

Wait, but wouldn’t I just wash it right off the next morning when I shower first thing? Well…3rd thing. First I poop. Then I wait a half hour. THEN I shower.

So THATS what that smell is…

…what? Did anyone ever say that Harris and trump were the same? I’m not sure I ever heard that…

I mean, he’s had 2 attempts on his life before we even got to election day. Every Ukrainian hates the mans guts. Half of this country hates the mans guts. I WANT to say that every Mexican hates him, but I can’t because he actuslly polled really well with Latinos…for some reason.

He also treats his own body like he hates himself. He eats more processed food than a family should eat.

His complexion is the weirdest color I’ve ever seen on an actual human. I almost expect him to have green hair, and break out into song. I don’t know what percentage of his body is chemicals, but I’d be surprised if it was under 20%. It’s not everyday you root FOR the cancer to win.

He flies a personal jet around the country, with his name on the side of it. Now historically anything branding his name will fail so hard that it crashes and burns. Which makes sense in this case, because his jet IS a Boeing.

In conclusion, between all of his poor diet choices, his poor life choices, his poor health choices, his poor aviation choices, and his natural aging (he is in his 70s), it’s ABSOLUTELY possible he dies at any time for almost any reason. It’s actually kind of impressive that he keeps living everyday. It’s like beating the odds just by existing.

Although, you read this question twice in one day because I thought it would be funny to parody the other question. I thought people were getting too serious in the other one. So I figured I’d present his death as the light hearted jolly event it should be!

INTRUDER ALERT!!! INTRUDER ALERT!!!

…wait, she said hell yeah! It’s ok guys! She’s cool.

Pretty sure that cat is a boy. She has a mustache. Actually she has a Hitler mustache. And kinda sorta has Hitlers hair, but like on a windy day. And she has white fur.

…wait, is your cat Hitler?