Gonna start selling Buy Nothing Day merch and decorations

“Please, Mr. Hands was my father. Call me Geoff”

Why stop at breathing it in when you can rub it on your face. Foreskin skin cream is a real thing. Where else do you think all these baby foreskins go?

Pickelhaube 2.0

Despite the old stereotype of Japan being a futuristic nation that produces the technology of tomorrow, a lot of it’s institutions are still using very outdated technology.

Fax is still very actively used

“Nobody asked for this” is such a stupid argument. As if people are only allowed to do something if they were asked for it

THEREFORE, I’M HERE BY ASKING ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING

There, the next time somebody asks “Who asked for this?” send them here and tell them I did

“Damn, Supreme Leader wasn’t lying. Compared to this, North Korea is truly the greatest country in the world”

Ok Jack, I’m gonna need some explanation for this meme

Why are you guys talking about nuclear weapons? She’s referring to the “dirty bomb” that she dropped in a Nando’s bathroom in London 2014

I’ve recently had a similar discussion on why orange ice cream isn’t that popular, but exists in form of water ice

Our conclusion was that acidic flavors, like orange and apple just aren’t good combined with cream, instead being better served as a sorbet

Somewhat related, there’s a notable decrease in gang violence un Mexico whenever a new Dragon Ball movie gets released

You can tell that this joke is old because they think that $1000 is be a lot. Nowadays, with how much inflation we’ve had, I would want at least $500

I did this and now my son is crying. Are you sure that’s good advice?

Edit: I might have misunderstood something

Unfortunately, neither vanilla nor coffee beans are actual beans

Not just math but actual maths

That’s like math^2

Come to think of it, why is stuff like nicotine gum only marketed to people who wanna quit smoking? Couldn’t non smokers also just use it for a mild high?

The aircraft carrier has clearly been placed on an aircraft carrier carrier

Putin should’ve thought twice about invading Cloud City

Or do the opposite, immersion therapy.

Pour superglue over yourself and glomp the next person you see. After two weeks, you’ll be used to being around other people

I have 47 different degrees and two years of experience as a degree forger