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Uses perfume.
It’s been a while since my classical studies, but I distinctly remember every stoic in existence reprimanding their fellow Romans for using perfume, because it was “immoral” and “effeminate”.
There are two wolves inside of you
One is a Roman fuckboy telling you to trim your goddamn nails if you want to get laid
The other is a Roman conservative telling you that self-care is a Gr*ekoid plot to steal your manly bodily fluids
You will be destroyed by Goths
Youre not a real men if people arent gagging whilst you pass them by.
tbf, even extremely conservative Romans were obsessive bathers.
