I’m in my early 30’s and I’ve literally always been curious about this. I’ve never in my life had the ability to feel sexual pleasure. I’ve never been on any meds or had any sort of traumatic experiences…it’s just the way I’ve always been even if I try. I’m old enough to say that I’m way beyond simply being a “late bloomer”. It’s just something I’ll never experience.
But it often feels like I’m missing a minor sense like taste or smell or something. Everyone has always raved about the taste of dessert, but I’ve never been able to understand or experience it. Can you describe it in detail it for me? Not just the mental part, but the physical part as well?
Thank you.
Sincerely, An Outsider
it feels good. much better than bad
It’s like a thrilling sport where your team has a chance to win if you picked the right players. At the end of the game everyone may have received a healthy dose of endorphins, increased blood flow, and a feeling of elation.
Everyone has their own experiences, and gets something different out of it, but some things always remain the same.
Is there an alternative way that I can get the endorphins and elation despite not having the physical sensation? It has always been a goal of mine to feel that despite not being a human like the rest of you.
Don’t worry dude, we’re all humans in different ways.
Being asexual doesn’t make you any less human.
Yup!
So, I’d argue there’s two parts two good sex, the orgasm and the whole post coital endorphins, blood flow and good vibes described above.
For all but the orgasm, it’s not quite the same but after any exercise where I well and truly push myself just a bit past what I thought I could do feels fairly similar.
If you’re not in shape, swimming is pretty good for this as no matter what shape you’re in, you can push yourself to exhaustion without much risk of hurting yourself. When you’re done the lap after the one you thought would be your last, hug the wall, gasp for air and feel the triumph flow through you. If you’re not feeling rubbery, exhausted and amazing, next time, swim for longer and push through the mental wall that made you stop. Either way, you can always jump in the hot tub and feel like a champ.
As for the orgasm, picture a longer sneeze. Or the magnificent release of a pee that you’ve held in too long.
Live music does it for me. It’s best when I’m close enough to make eye contact with the musicians, and when the audience is into it too. It’s a total rush. If I had to pick between music and sex, it’d be music, hands down.
I can relate to the comment about swimming too. I imagine hiking, kayaking, or anything else physical that you really like could give you a similar feeling.
You’re human. You’re not even the 1000th person I’ve spoken to on the internet, nor the 1st I’ve met in real life that have asked these questions.
As Lauchs said, physical activity is the closest thing. Start with a hike to a mountaintop or swimming if you’re able to. If you aren’t able to do those types of things, perhaps try something less demanding such as table tennis or a jog through a park.
If you continue to be curious about sex, and are open to the idea, consider paying for it. As long as you are safe and wear protection their is no shame in it despite the societal stigma. You might learn something about yourself, despite the lack of physical sensation.
Per some of the comments above - add urgency, being in / not being in control, exertion are all part of it.
Finishing a half marathon
Attending a concert with 20k other people and singing one of my favourite songs at the top of my lungs
The 30 to 40 seconds after my first experience scuba diving
Surfing, believe it or not. - the feeling of being picked up and pushed forward at the same time, then being in control / out of control and elated at the same time
Dancing in darkness to uplifting music, sometimes even exercising in the dark
Riding downhill trails in the dark (wirh headlight of course)
Not just the mental part, but the physical part as well?
Sexual pleasure is 99% mental. When you are aroused your senses highten. Suddenly your skin and your genitalia becomes
veryextremely sensitive. Essentially, a lot of the systems in your body begin to behave differently. If you are not aroused then…meh. In fact, “bad sex” (when you aren’t into it) is extremely annoying.I’ve never actually done it before, because sexual thoughts bring nothing but fear and terror to my mind. They all feel like Silent Hill 2.
No can do, taking this virginity to my grave.
I’m not here to tell you who you are or anything but the feelings you mention are similar to some asexual experiences. I’m ace myself and enjoy masturbation or sex in some very specific settings, but generally it doesn’t feel like much to me, it’s just like a very generic sense of like “something is touching my skin”.
In the specific settings, it does feel like something more than just physical touch, and I can actually trigger those same sensations without physical touch most of the time. To explain it? Idk it kind of feels like I’m floating.
If you are having sex with a woman it is necessary to be fully erect. This may require some hand manipulation by the female. If their body is attractive enough you can achieve a full erection just by looking at them. As you thrust into them you will quickly reach an edge point. If you want to last longer you break your rhythm of thrusting. When you resume you will eventually hit that edge and once you get there, there is no turning back. You will start to ejaculate. And it feels great. A release. Depending on who you are doing this with your brain will become like jelly for a few minutes. When you are all done you will feel great.
Hmm, I won’t go in super deep (ha) but I will say that masterbation for me feels different than sex. Im one of the lucky women that can climax either/or, and the climax for each is different. Sex is far more intense, and not just about the insertion itself, but the feeling of his body against mine, the smells, the sight, all of it makes for a better climax in the end.
I usually only masterbate using my clit, and while it does feel very good, it’s far less intense.
I like it to a very large sneeze that you can feel coming for a little bit before you actually sneeze. That build up of pressure, a tingly sensation that spreads through your belly and the back of your thighs, and then just pure squeeze-y bliss. Mine ripples. I can feel each squeeze. And each one makes every muscle in my body squeeze too.
