And then someone steals the sketchbook. So, your dad goes after them.
"I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter’s sketchbook go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.”
So your dad goes to look for the sketchbook thief. And it’s assumed he gets killed.
And so the police get called, and then you see onscreen 200 cops surrounding a building, and a 20 minute action shootout scene. Where every cop gets killed 1 by 1. Until it’s just the theif, and you, and your daughter. In a big dark warehouse with creepy overhead flickering lights.
Then your dad, who’s not been onscreen in 45 minutes, assumed to be dead, makes a late movie comeback where he does a backflip, snaps the bad guys neck, and saves the day.
Final shot of the movie is your daughter happily sketching at home. Then the camera pans the sketch, as it shows 200 cops all in a bloody warehouse, with you, your daughter, and your dad, all shooting the cops. As the theif looks on in horror in the background.
Implying the whole movie, was just a simpleton theif, stealing what he thought was an unimportant item. Something that wouldn’t cause too much trouble.
…but then a family of psychopaths used it as an excuse to kill 200 cops, and frame the theif.
And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that meddling exposition of the story at the end!!!
I’m just imagining an 70s style montage of him training for the fight. Punching the punching bag, running up stairs, drinking raw eggs in a cup, jumping rope.
Except it’s all terribly wrong.
So like he punches the punching bag, and it’s one of those heavy full body punching bags. So he punches it, and it doesn’t move, but then the whole side of the thing breaks, and the punching bag swings forward and knocks your dad back. Then he’s drinking a raw egg, and chokes, and then he’s running up stairs, but a punching bag is falling down the stairs and knocks him backwards. Then he’s jumping rope, and the camera pans back, and next to him is a punching bag also jumping rope. Then your dad notices, and it confuses your dad who then trips over the jump rope and the punching bag then falls and knocks your dad backwards. Then you see him working with a personal trainer, punching those pads a personal trainer would wear over their hands. So your dad is punching those pads, and then the camera pans back to show that the personal trainer is actually just a punching bag, which then falls over and knocks your dad backwards. Then your dad is at a resteraunt in a booth ordering soup. And you see a closeup of the soup on his table. Then the camera pans back, and you see your dad needlessly cowering while the waitress looks confused. Then the entrance to the cafe opens, a punch bag walks in, and falls on your dad knocking him backwards. The waitress just refills the coffee and walks away.
They could make a movie out of this.
And then someone steals the sketchbook. So, your dad goes after them.
"I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter’s sketchbook go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.”
So your dad goes to look for the sketchbook thief. And it’s assumed he gets killed.
And so the police get called, and then you see onscreen 200 cops surrounding a building, and a 20 minute action shootout scene. Where every cop gets killed 1 by 1. Until it’s just the theif, and you, and your daughter. In a big dark warehouse with creepy overhead flickering lights.
Then your dad, who’s not been onscreen in 45 minutes, assumed to be dead, makes a late movie comeback where he does a backflip, snaps the bad guys neck, and saves the day.
Final shot of the movie is your daughter happily sketching at home. Then the camera pans the sketch, as it shows 200 cops all in a bloody warehouse, with you, your daughter, and your dad, all shooting the cops. As the theif looks on in horror in the background.
Implying the whole movie, was just a simpleton theif, stealing what he thought was an unimportant item. Something that wouldn’t cause too much trouble.
…but then a family of psychopaths used it as an excuse to kill 200 cops, and frame the theif.
And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for that meddling exposition of the story at the end!!!
This is much funnier if you knew my dad.
He’s either a super jacked, athletic ninja, or he’s 80lbs and the biggest pacifist ever.
With no inbetween based on that message.
Close, but try autistic academic who would probably get beaten up by a punching bag.
I’m just imagining an 70s style montage of him training for the fight. Punching the punching bag, running up stairs, drinking raw eggs in a cup, jumping rope.
Except it’s all terribly wrong.
So like he punches the punching bag, and it’s one of those heavy full body punching bags. So he punches it, and it doesn’t move, but then the whole side of the thing breaks, and the punching bag swings forward and knocks your dad back. Then he’s drinking a raw egg, and chokes, and then he’s running up stairs, but a punching bag is falling down the stairs and knocks him backwards. Then he’s jumping rope, and the camera pans back, and next to him is a punching bag also jumping rope. Then your dad notices, and it confuses your dad who then trips over the jump rope and the punching bag then falls and knocks your dad backwards. Then you see him working with a personal trainer, punching those pads a personal trainer would wear over their hands. So your dad is punching those pads, and then the camera pans back to show that the personal trainer is actually just a punching bag, which then falls over and knocks your dad backwards. Then your dad is at a resteraunt in a booth ordering soup. And you see a closeup of the soup on his table. Then the camera pans back, and you see your dad needlessly cowering while the waitress looks confused. Then the entrance to the cafe opens, a punch bag walks in, and falls on your dad knocking him backwards. The waitress just refills the coffee and walks away.