I rarely feel attacked when I talk with people in person. And we all take people feelings into consideration enough so no one is trying to attack anyone.
I was not actively commenting on social media since I was 13. But when I joined Lemmy i saw the statistics only 1% of people are actively posting and commenting on social media. And since I knew I was in 99% of people who are only consuming and really wanted Lemmy to take off I tried to be more active.
But now I find myself way too often attacked and attacking. And I always judged people that are attacking others on Xitter or Facebook.
All the people here saying, “Just block them” - personally I just can’t help suspecting that these are the same people who themselves are insulting and abusing others, who in turn are saying “Just block them”.
The solution is not that everyone blocks everyone else. The solution is that we behave civilly and respectfully to each other.
The solution is that we behave civilly and respectfully to each other.
Is it an achievable solution? Because I have no idea how we could make that happen.
On reddit I was once literally told to go fuck myself for saying it was a nice day. There are psychotic people everywhere, and I really do agree the solution is just to block them. When someone’s comment to me consists of “You’re an idiot” or some other insult, I generally block them. And no, that’s not how I comment.
Is it normal? Kinda. Is it healthy? No
Someone will see ANYTHING as an attack on the internet. The default interpretation is, “How can this comment be an offense against me and everything I believe in?”
When I start to feel irked I imagine it’s Colin Robinson on the other side so there’s no reason to engage.
That made me laugh, thank you for reminding me of that episode!
It’s taken a while for me to get to the point where I’ll write a comment, and think “do I really want to kick this potential hornets nest?” And delete the comment.
I find myself having a much better time hanging out and interacting with the folks in the asklemmy communities versus those in political threads.
Same experience. And it’s a shame.
And yet I’ve found that, occasionally, after I brace myself for the blowback, instead there comes a thoughtful reply which assumes good faith. It’s those occasions which keep me coming back.
Block them. Trolls are not worth the trouble.
Argue bad. Discuss good.
Good question. I think it has to do with empathy. When arguing on the internet, you dont have an actual person in mind that you are talking to. Also, anonymity gives you safety. You dont have to worry about not hurting someone because it wont have adverse effects on the relationships with people around you, aka your tribe. This was essential for survival some time ago and sits deep within our subconcious.
Yes
It’s normal to attack and be attacked, it’s also normal to have a friendly exchange of ideas and it’s very normal to communicate through memes and soundbites.
What isn’t normal is to communicate through emojis. We need to shun those people! They must not be allowed to propagate a second hieroglyphics age! Archeologists will think it was aliens all over again!
Shun them!
😡
Many people attack if a post does not reflect their world view. I have learned that in most cases, this is primarily an issue of their limited world view, and not one of my post.
Simply ignore the idiots, and, if they escalate, just block them. Don’t let them control you.
That experience hits too close to home.
I think because we choose the topics we engage with on social media, they’re usually ones we’re passionate about.
But the size of the online community means most folks are anonymous. So, unlike your friends or even a group of strangers, there’s a much lower consequence for jerkiness, rudeness etc in response to views which in your eyes may range from insane to evil.
My take is that written communication is hard, unless a) you know each other really well, e.g. messaging friends, or b) you write carefully and with enough detail to help the other person understand fully your position, and they bother reading with the same care.
When you read an essay or article it of often begins by setting out the problem, giving some context and even defining their priorities and approach, before they make a claim or argument. They spend time addressing the obvious criticisms of their argument, and ideally admiting weak spots, and maybe even empathising with why someone might reject their position. This means that when you read an article like that, even if argues against something important to you, you don’t feel attacked. It’s calm, general reasoning, and obviously not a personal a attack on you as an individual.
But if you post an picture of the secondhand car you’ve saved for two years to afford, and the first comment is “fuck cars, they’re killing the planet” it’s easy to feel like it’s a personal and it’s aggressive. Or if you write a pretty reasonable but contraversial opinion, people might not have the time or will to break it down and explain why it’s wrong, but they don’t want other people to read it and think it’s okay, so they down vote and comment a quick “what is this shit ?”
A very good point! It gets to me the most when I really try to write a well structured argument. Like yours. And then someone comes and just dismisses whole point with some logical fallacy or something like that. It hurts the most since I spent a long time writing such post.
It’s normal, and frankly as old as the internet (any of y’all remember the term ‘flame wars’?). A lot of people here have made great points as to why it happens.
My suggestion? Ignore the attacks, and speak to the content in as even a tone you can manage if you feel the topic is worth discussing. If it gets to a point where the meat of the discussion is lost in the attacks, disengage. Recreational discussion on the net doesn’t need to be a combat sport.
The worst you’ll get with this approach is an accusation of ‘sea-lioning’, which makes some assumptions around intent you can’t really correct all that well if someone’s decided that’s what you’re doing. Though I welcome any suggestions - good faith is hard to prove online when people are so used to attack/counterattack discourse.
A large part of growing up with social media is learning how to effectively use your emotions in a way that assists you rather than hindering you. Passion and anger are way too close together, it can be really hard to separate them. Passion is very helpful when motivating yourself to write in a compelling way. Unfortunately, it’s something that can best be learned through practice. The good news is the first step is recognizing that it is a problem, so you have started. The bad news is, you won’t be good at it for a while still, but keep trying anyway.
