My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
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What has five toes and is not your foot?
My foot!
That one should definitely get a groan out of her teacher!
From: plutopiaworld
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? “Fsssssh” (only works if you say it out loud, and they know how to spell)
The start of one of my favourites, that fell completely flat.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
What big brown and sticky? A big stick.
What brown and hurt if it fall on you from a tree? A piano.
Que flat confused look.
5 years olds can be a tough crowd.
Gonna jump in here so you teach your kid right:
Cue, pronounced “Q,” is the spelling for "time to go on stage or say your line " or in this case, “time to look confused.”
Qué is pronounced “K” and is basically Spanish for what, although “por qué?” is “Why?”
I know that because of the old joke about the lady crying at her husband’s coffin “Por qué, por qué?” And the coffin opened and said “Butter.” But the reference is too old.
Anyway Queue is the last one, it’s English English, pronounced “Q” and means people standing in a line, just as all the silent letters are.
There’s a few spellings I apparently have blind spot for. That is definitely one of them.
Where does the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!
What is blue but doesn’t weigh very much? Light blue
So good
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
You’re making a good owl!
My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.
People who run in front of cars get tired.
People who run next to cars get winded.
People who run behind cars get exhausted.Men who walk sideways through a turnstile go to bangkok
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
Wanna hear my favorite knock knock joke? Great!
You start…
Knock knock
Who’s there?
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Is your refrigerator running? Yes? Better go catch it!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
Why are chickens so cool?
B’caws
Knock knock
Owls
Owls whoo
Yes they do
Q: What do you call a large amphibious mammal with a huge mouth, large teeth, fat body and goes around swearing at passers-by?
A: Hippopottymouth
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Cause his mommy got stuck in a jam.
Yes, let’s get the kid started with dark humor.
It was either that or a washing machine.
