It’s been trending this way for years, but seeing it graphed out like this is shocking.
What do you think are the effects of this drastic change?
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I think the online thing is about to start dropping. The sites are so full of looky-loos who just want to chat and never actually meet in person they’re hardly worth the time. I expect as the bot infestation continues to grow, they’ll be even less useful.
“online” doesn’t necessarily mean dedicated dating/match making apps.
The Internet connects people in a way that nothing ever has before. You use the Internet to seek out interests of yours, as will other people. So like minded people tend to meet even incidentally.
I met my partner online, but it was on a game, not a dating service. Neither of us were really looking for love. We became friends, then started dating, and now married for years.
I think the online thing is about to start dropping.
The graph stops at 2020…the height of the pandemic where everyone was stuck in physical, but not virtual isolation.
I agree with you except my guess is that has already dropped if post-pandemic data was introduced.
Also the pandemic is over so people are allowed to meet outside
“dating” (fucking) apps: ew ❌
becoming a furry and then dating exclusively within the fandom for a much smaller pool of candidates but that are generally much more intelligent and just as socially awkward as you so the awkwardness cancels itself out: ☑️
My first unofficial bf (really early in my teens) was a normie, and when that collapsed I went furry-only for relationships, never looked back. Had some amazing relationships due to it. The intelligence bar is much, much higher, so when you get into a conversation, it’s a deep, insightful, intriguing topic. My ex, he has adhd, autism, and several other quirks, and I could listen to him talk about stuff for hours, literally. The excitement he got from discussing something he was interested and passionate about, made topics I know nothing about and/or care nothing about, interesting; and I would always learn a nugget or two of information. And because furries are typically all weird as fuck, nothing is really weird. It’s liberating to just speak your mind without being worried about being judged or criticized.
I tried to dip my toes into the traditional dating/hookup apps a decade or so ago. Assholes as far as the eye can see, nothing meets their standards and they will demean you because of it. Fuck them all, and not in the fun way.
We just always go full circle in the world with almost everything.
some of recognize that and use it to enrich themselves & entrench their positions; a few others who also recognize it decide to use it to try improve humanity’s lot in life; and the overwhelming majority are only vaguely aware at best, call the latter tankies while idolizing the former.
Most of the “people” on there aren’t people. They’re either bots or occasionally those looky-loos that are just hired actors to keep people engaged to the site and try and get as much money out of them as possible. Especially the paid dating sites are mostly just that. They’re just sucking money out of people that are genuinely emotionally invested and sometimes even desperate. It’s real sad, and disgusting from those sites.
I think online dating will still remain. But it’s less of actual interest for long term stuff, and more want to have a fun one night stand kind of deal. I feel like most other things on that chart turned into that as well though.
The last really serious relationship started by meeting at a bar.
It was great because there was no expectations when we first started talking so the conversation was just natural, just two people talking. We exchanged numbers and soon started dating. I really think that it worked was because it was just an accidental meeting and we were both relaxed and had no ulterior motive.
I also think because dating in the wild there are fewer filters and few options, so you go with what you got. They may not be perfect but it’s better than sitting around swiping for the perfect person that may not exist.
I’m sure off loading the human mating ritual to profit driven companies will have no negative effects on society whatsoever, this definitely isn’t the horrors here to unseen except in the most dystopian of science fiction novels.
Technology has found a new way for people to meet up and fuck, a thing that they had older and less efficient methods of doing in the past. What is the consequence of high-speed fucking? Fortunately, with the advent of contraception and prophylactics, I would say not much.
The means of communication have changed, but the innate human impulses and behaviors remain the same.
this definitely isn’t the horrors here to unseen except in the most dystopian of science fiction novels
What is the fundamental difference between dudes cruising for sex in bars and nightclubs during the 1980s and dudes cruising for sex on grinder in the 2020s? What is the difference between speed dating and Tinder? What is the difference between high schoolers / college kids sexting and getting each other off over the landline?
Humanity has survived worse indignities.
Did you know, one of the biggest differences humans have from other animals is that they are of the first if not the only species to weaponize Evolution?
And by that I don’t necessarily mean against each other but other species, the cow we breed to be larger and more docile for better food, the dog we breed to be a better hunter and less aggressive, but we also breed it to it’s own detriment simply because it’s “ cute”., corn, tomatoes, melons … we breed or clone to be so big that it would be eaten to extinction if we didn’t use chemicals to Deter pests, not to mention the fact that most produce don’t even produce there own seeds anymore.
All to the detriment of anything humans cultivate, most of this was done subconsciously before we even knew what Evolution was and not out of malice but simply because it benefits the farmer.
If we give beading selection of any species including humans to humans within a very few generations they will start to show traits beneficial to the people selecting the traits, and no amount of “I’m not going to date someone I’m not interested in” will save you, after all Evolution is a tendency and outliers just do not matter, we are animals and it is more beneficial for corporations that are profit motivated to breed docile obedient stock that doesn’t complain.
You should check out Against the Grain: A Deep History of the Earliest States
This kind of symbiotic selection is not necessarily exclusive to humans or even animals generally speaking.
I’m sure I would agree with everything in the book, I have never read it personally but I have heard arguments and summaries about it, , it is one of the most depressing things to think about but I am pretty sure it helps my point not disproves it.
Essentially the first civilizations shaped the early evolution of mankind forcing them from a hunter gatherer society(violent and unruly) to a agrarian Society(docile and submissive) you can argue all you want about the benefits of these traits or even the necessity of them but you can’t argue that these forces are not at play and in full effect when it comes to dating apps, I personally find it disturbing but the fact that we are breeding a serving class isn’t nearly as disturbing as the fact that we are breeding a ruling class at the same time and we have every potential to separate into two different species.
it is one of the most depressing things to think about
I wouldn’t go that far. Its a trade off - predictability over longevity - that proved fruitful in the long run.
But, read from a certain perspective, it can be argued that grain domesticated humans and became one of the most prolific organisms on the planet as a result.
Is there anything we can’t privatize for profit?
Just got married to my wife this last weekend, who I met after being on Bumble for about 2 weeks… Gotta go buy some scratchers.
Is it just me or is that graph all fucked up?
Well theres more then 0 percent that do meet multiple people throughout the year. So maybe still bullshit, but its a thought.
I remember being in highschool in the late 90s/early 2000s and someone found out I had an online dating profile.
I was relentlessly teased about it, borderline bullying.
I eventually met my current wife online, couldn’t be happier.
looking back, the teasing was likely because I was the only genuinely nice guy those girls knew and were upset their choices for dates were abysmal. it’s all for the best though, I wouldn’t have wanted to be around anyone who could treat me that way and be ok with it.
I’m pleased that the stigma against online dating has all but vanished.
If anyone is jumping into this thread: ctrl+f “fake”. There is a good discussion about the data that you shouldn’t miss.
Thanks, yeah that’s why I came here. For me though it is that a few percent got together in 1980 / early 80s. Now I vaguely remember the 80s and the “internet” from then. I can’t imagine any got together from “online dating” then or the internet overall. Do you have a concept of what “internet” was then?
No not really, I grew up in the 90s. Internet was mostly gaming and university websites for me
I’m from the south, what about family reunions?
I’m personally thrilled not to be bound by the recommendations of my friends or family. Or work?! Gross!
People: “Oh hey there Digital Frontier, looking forward to the opportunity” The Permanently Online: “Get out of my swamp!”
I’m kind of surprised that College has always been low
I first dated online in 1999, and the first woman I dated I ended up marrying and having two kids with, though we divorced in 2017.
I still date online these days, and I prefer it. It allows me to know a little about a person before I waste any time chatting them up, and the things I need to know are things they generally put on their profile. Things like their sexuality (since I am non-binary), their political leaning (I’m socialist), their relationship orientation (I’m polyamorous), whether our values match…you know…important shit. And those early conversations before we ever meet in person are low-key enough that I feel more comfortable with them IRL, something that helps me as an autistic person.
Now do how they split!
Give me $50/month and I’ll find you some random stranger 😉💕! I used craigslist and found a perfectly good used girlfriend. 15 years and she’s still going!
That is insane.
I wouldn’t have expected schools to be so low tbh
