I’m not a psychologist but there has to be some deep-seated self-loathing from repressing their true sexuality/identity for decades. Or maybe they subconsciously feel “if I can’t be who I want to be, you can’t either.”
I’ve got a theory on this: They have gay urges and therefor think everyone has them, so they believe that everyone needs to “choose to be straight” and it’s just weak sinners who are giving into their urges.
Also to grandparent: it’s allllllll projection with conservatives.
There is a fair amount of speculation that being bi is actually way more common than is generally thought but because current cultural rules of compulsory heterosexuallity codes being bi as being something you must act on to actually be considered that identity a lot of people believe that they are straight simply because they never acted on the attraction.
For guys the comp-het mindset also tends to discount basically any situation where they feel dominant because “straight” and “masculine” to them basically means that as long as they are the petetrative element in a place of absolute control via power dynamics or violence then it doesn’t count as “gay”. Essentially since as long as it holds no emotional attachment to them it doesn’t count. As long as they can’t code their behaviour as “feminine” it doesn’t count.
I’m not a psychologist but there has to be some deep-seated self-loathing from repressing their true sexuality/identity for decades. Or maybe they subconsciously feel “if I can’t be who I want to be, you can’t either.”
I’ve got a theory on this: They have gay urges and therefor think everyone has them, so they believe that everyone needs to “choose to be straight” and it’s just weak sinners who are giving into their urges.
Also to grandparent: it’s allllllll projection with conservatives.
There is a fair amount of speculation that being bi is actually way more common than is generally thought but because current cultural rules of compulsory heterosexuallity codes being bi as being something you must act on to actually be considered that identity a lot of people believe that they are straight simply because they never acted on the attraction.
For guys the comp-het mindset also tends to discount basically any situation where they feel dominant because “straight” and “masculine” to them basically means that as long as they are the petetrative element in a place of absolute control via power dynamics or violence then it doesn’t count as “gay”. Essentially since as long as it holds no emotional attachment to them it doesn’t count. As long as they can’t code their behaviour as “feminine” it doesn’t count.
Which to the rest of us is fucking bonkers…