Relatable.

In the early 2000s I worked at a company that had a small central courtyard in the middle of the building. All four sides of the courtyard were three or more stories high.

Pigeons used to congregate in the courtyard and pick for crumbs.

One day, a huge hawk came down and snatched himself a big fat pigeon.

He sat there for most of an hour picking at this bird. When he finally went to leave he couldn’t clear the lowest wall.

We called animal control, they said if he’s still there in 2 days let us know.

He crapped all over the place and buy the end of day two was able to just fly out.

I’m not exactly certain that he wasn’t hurt and just got better enough to fly out but it really looked like he just ate himself into a condition where he couldn’t get back out of there.

I feel like Roger Alan Wade weren’t singing about a God damn bald eagle, but never the less:

The ain’t no wings on a pachyderm, it’s too fat too fly
Ain’t ko wings on a barn yard pig, it’s too fat to fly
There ain’t no wings on your fat ass and there ain’t no wonder why

WTF IS A KILOMETER!!! RAHHHH 🦅 🔫

Merica

I wonder if his insurance covers Semaglutide?

🎵God bless the USA 🎵

Convergent evolution. Some eagles are evolving into chickens. A new species of murder chickens.

Other than the word “eagle,” this headline could be about me.