Fuck off, Meta. My children tell me they want to try cigarettes, driving, using an excavator, and rifles and every time I fail to consider their voices. Actually, I consider it and the answer is an easy, “no.” Considering the evidence, social media like FB appears to be quite deleterious to people’s mental health, young people in particular.
They did study the Napoleonic invasion of Russia. They just thought they were better.
My parents emigrated from Aus/NZ just before I was born, so I inherited a bunch of weird down-under, outdated vocabulary.
“What are you fossicking around in the pantry for?” “Did you find a few skerrigs of chocolate?” “I need to use the dunny.” “That guy in car dealership was apoplectic.”
Lots of other turns of phrase, but - with the possible exception of “dunny” are legit words.
EDIT: OK. A few others, I still use ‘blasted’ as an adjective. If my kids do something ridiculous, “Jesus wept, child,” sometimes comes out of my mouth. Then a bunch of, “running around like a sprayed blowfly,” or, “wandering around like a lost soul.”
Second one looks good. She has got a bit click-baity, but I found a lot of Thais Gibson’s “Personal Development School” channel on YouTube to be really accessible. She has links to tests, but it’s also useful just listening to her video overviews if the different attachment styles and seeing if you recognise yourself in any of the descriptions. Certainly I was at a loss, watched them, and was like, “Oh shit! Her description of anxious preoccupieds and dismissive avoidance is almost verbatim what I’m dealing with!”
If you are dismissive avoidant, don’t read the comments. There are a lot of butthurt anxious preoccupieds out there. They really do experience DAs like that, but they’ve got their own shit to work out and contribute to the dynamic.
Nosing (instead of reversing) into a parking spot. You always pick the conditions of your arrival, but not always your departure. Also, reversing into traffic is ridiculous and illegal in some places. Parking nose-first is dangerous and lazy.
EDIT: Love how you’re all justifying your bad driving habits. Camera? Still can’t scan for incoming traffic. Bad weather only on occasion? It’s more than bad weather that can make reversing out of a door dangerous.
… and I HATE angle parking.
I’m totally struggling with the mixed units here: potential energy being compared to power. “How much hp does your car have?” “A tank of gas.” Wut?
This line right here: “battery storage equivalent to the output of 20 nuclear reactors.” I suspect the author has considered GW with GW/hr…
Those round houses people are asking about are traditional homes of the Hakka people. IRC they are made that way to be highly defensible. No buff on Chinese history, but they’re ethnic Han Chinese living in the mountains of South of China, and I think there was some animosity.
Never trust a Campbell.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castillo_de_Coca
Late 15th c., Spanish. A fascinating blend of Moorish and Gothic architecture.
I once heard an architect talk about the kind of monstrosity someone without a budget would build. There’s something about this castle that feels like that to me. I suppose they was a lot of gold coming into Spain at that time.
“Had a relationship with …”
Sex with a minor. Hmm … sex with a minor. I could swear we had a word for that.
I often cringe a bit at the rhetoric coming out of the men’s rights corner, but the gender bias around sex with minors in so consistent.
I saw your spoiler, I still couldn’t figure out what was going on. Partly I was busy looking at her facial expressions, whereas to notice the puke you’ve got to be watching the bottom of her hand. Also, I’m not sure what the clip was like on desktop, but the narrative in the chat helps with interpreting the drama, and it’s just about illegible.
It would help if I could read the text! What happened?
EDIT: OK. <spoiler> I pieced together most of the chat. The blonde at the front covers her mouth like she’s shocked, but she’s hiding the fact that she’s puking in the hot tub. You can see it run down from under her hand. There’s a guy in chat calling her out for it, but she keeps trying to play it off. I assume buddy pulls up the video and confirms they’re all bathing in chunder broth, and everyone - except for the culprit - bails fast.</spoiler>
EDIT 2: I hope my spoiler tags worked.
Disdain.
Stupid cavemen. It makes way more sense the other way around. Just no ducks given about safety.
I’ve been wondering a lot about absurdism in humour. There are people who laugh when they see something disastrous happen, like a man reflexively trying to stop a cement truck from tipping and getting squashed dead. Or a recent news story of the only fatality in a school bus crash: it was an observer who got hit by a vehicle as he ran across the highway to see if the kids were ok. A lot of the time this laughing response to a disaster is interpreted as schadenfreude, but a good portion of the time I believe it’s absurdism.
We try so hard to have agency, to do something, but the World doesn’t give a fuck. You have two choices when shit goes so wrong: you can wail about the unfairness of it all, or you can laugh at the absurdity of our efforts in the face of the colossal chaos of it all. The laughter is stronger.
It’s interesting to me that some cultures seem to have absurd humour baked in. The Aussies and Kiwis seem to have it. They just make jokes about and laugh at the most horrific situations.
That shit scarred me, and I think was a major contributor to an anxious-preoccuppied attachment style as an adult. A lifetime of being put on a pedestal from the recognition I was bright and a novel thinker, and then the judgment when I inevitably goofed something up left me with a deep -rooted belief that the true me was unworthy and an inevitable fuck up. “Taniwha is an intelligent and capable person, if only he would stop being such a fuck around.” I learned not to trust myself because inevitability I’d do something impulsive, or miss some social queue, or not stay with the program, which made me very Other-focused and wanting to do the “right thing” so I didn’t let everyone down again.
Every single report card and evaluation I’ve ever received was full of back handed compliments pointing to a moral failing. “… if only he just completed his homework on time,” “… needs to stay focused,” “… too much time socialising with/distracting his neighbour.”
“Lots of potential … If only …” Never enough.
Fuck you. That was the thing I was born to struggle with. How many stupid kids got sent home with report cards that said things like, “John’s a hard worker and attentive student. He has a lot of potential, but he needs to work on not being stupid.”
Parents: “Johnny. You NEED to stop being so stupid in class, and start being smarter or you’re going to need Canada’s most disciplined ditch digger.”
To this day, an accomplished academic, a variable professional, and kind person I still freak out inside when someone gets excited about me. I keep falling into relationships with avoidants because trying to please someone who I’ve let down is just about all I know.
My first thought was OP is dismissive avoidant. It’s the no-overlap Venn diagram of, “I want to be close enough to be loved, but not close enough to be hurt.” OP: go take one of the attachment style tests online. There’s a lot of good stuff that might help you get out of this Catch 22. Who knows, though? There is scant information.
OP: do you find yourself resenting your partner? Wishing they’d get out of your space/stop bugging you with their needs?
Would it have been noticeable to people at the time?