Man. I hate to shill, but…
I faced many of those same issues, and after a year and a half of failing to set up testing, my doctor told me to go to adhdonline.com - they offer online testing $180, and give you results back in like a week. She’s already given me an ADHD testing referral, and she suggested that my insurer would probably reimburse me for the cost, but I have ADHD, so I never bothered with it.
It took me about 4 hours to do the test (but I did it while I was sitting through a day-long virtual meeting where I had to be present, but not ‘present’. So like, it probably won’t take focused people that long.)
And - yeah. Morally, it sucks. It’s feeding into the commodification of someone’s job and is morally kind of like using Uber or AirBNB. It’s convenient and maybe cheaper. Maybe it upsets a system that could use a little upsetting, but will likely upset it too much and have unforeseen impacts.
But it worked for me.
It took me over a year to get a diagnosis from my initial inquiry with my doctor. She gave me a referral (otherwise it would not be covered by insurance), and a list of practices that did ADHD testing (not every psychiatrist does it), and I stumbled on picking a place for a few months. When I picked a place, their wait list was 3 months and I never pursued testing.
The testing process in my area takes a few hours - my wife’s took 3 on a video chat, and it took about 3 months for them to send their report to her doctor.
Cut to a year later, my old doctor had retired, and I had a new one. She gave me a new referral for testing, but cautioned me that the wait list for most places was now 6 months. Checking around with other folks in my area confirmed this. But while at that appointment, she recommended an online company, who - after a few weeks of weighing options, I did pursue, and tested/evaluated me (no video chat, just an online survey - about half was written responses - that took about 4 hours to complete), and got results back in a week. It was $180, and may have been eligible for a reimbursement from insurance, but I have ADHD, so I never bothered.
And like - I guess I appreciate it. It does seem like whoever made those policies made them so that the diagnosis won’t be given lightly, but it creates issues. I sorta feel that I cheated, but my test was actually reviewed by a psychiatrist, and when I told friends of my diagnosis, the most common response was ‘Duh. You didn’t know?’ - so even though the online approach is sorta ‘cheating,’ I know that it’s definitely a warranted diagnosis in my case.