Unfortunately alive. USAmerican, gay

  • 7 Posts
  • 114 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: February 23rd, 2024

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  • Alice@beehaw.orgtoChat@beehaw.orgMisusing expressions.
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    6 months ago

    Pretty sure the “original” meaning of “blood is thicker than water” came later. There’s a popular bit of misinfo that it’s short for “the blood of the covenant is stronger than the water of the womb” but no one can point to a single historical usage of it.

    I prefer the version that doesn’t prioritize family ties, but I don’t think it’s the original.


  • People use social media for different things. I never used Instagram to meet people, personally. I’ve posted art and I’ve uploaded photos just as a way to show long distant friends what I’ve been up to, but those friends and I mostly talked over text so I don’t know if I ever even looked at my DMs.

    I do actually think social media has made me bad at talking to people irl though, but for different reasons. The way I made friends on Tumblr was I’d post a character design and wait for someone else who designs characters to comment, and then we’d talk back and forth about our characters for hours.

    Now I’m trying to remember how to make friends in person and it’s so much more intentional. You have to actually ask questions and broadcast your interest in people instead of assuming they’re going to infodump on you. You can’t take five minutes to think up a reply because there’s no going afk. You have to have interests other than a gay man you made up.




  • Dang, I’m sorry about your tonsils! I have no useful input but I hope you feel better soon, strep sucks.

    This week feels out to get me. My alarm didn’t go off on two different days, I lost my comb, and work is awful.

    The forecast keeps calling for snow and customers lose their everloving minds even though it never amounts to anything. Orders are almost two hours overdue and we can’t get below 3,000 picks. The store is so crowded with all these losers shopping as slowly as possible and they won’t get out of the way for nothing, so that gets us even more behind.

    I got into another argument with my friend.

    I know I’m probably the drama. I left the friend group since I was getting into drama with everyone except him, now it’s just us and we’re getting into drama. I’m aware I’m the common denominator here, and I keep trying to change, but all the changes I make are wrong.

    I don’t take his advice and it’s disrespectful. I take his advice and that’s too needy. I talk about my problems too much. It hurts his feelings that I stopped talking about my problems. Me saying that I have problems but refusing to elaborate is passive aggressive. (He’s right there, lol. I was hoping he’d get the hint and stop pressing.)

    I asked if I could bitch about something minor and he said yes, I honestly thought it’d be two sentences and I’d move on with my day. It turned into a big argument, then that somehow turned into a separate argument where he talked about what a terrible person he is for two hours while I failed to talk him down.

    He hasnt talked to me since, and I have no plans to reach out. It’s really weighing on me, we used to be best friends, I don’t know what happened. I think I’m going to make my therapy goal to be someone who is even capable of interpersonal relationships, and keep to myself in the meantime




  • A really stupid one was when my older sister started tossing out a bunch of random attacks on my character when I was about to drive her to work. I asked when I ever demonstrated any of these traits and she brought up when I jumped into an argument that had nothing to do with me the night before and supposedly said horrible things.

    Anyone who knew me would have known I was in my room with headphones watching the Gravity Falls finale the night before. I think that was the first time anyone failed at gaslighting me, because I was that obsessed with Gravity Falls.

    I told her to call a cab to work and she started crying. :/ Like, what did you expect…



  • Probably hire someone to help me throw out all my shit. My family have hoarding issues and a death in the family is the exact sort of thing that would make them relapse, like keeping random old receipts I forgot to throw out. I’d have to throw out everything or I’d die pissed off about it.

    Other than that, grab some fakey corporate moonshine and sit by the lake. Try to be home before I die so my cat can see my body and know what happened.



  • So many… The earliest cartoon I remember loving was The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. It was incredibly cozy. Then I discovered Cartoon Cartoons, especially Powerpuff Girls, Johnny Bravo, and Dexter’s Laboratory with their throwback art styles, and got obsessed with those for a while.

    Eventually SpongeBob came out and became my personality, because he was basically an annoying kid trying his best to be friends with everyone like I was. (It’s played out now, it wasn’t back then.)

    ETA how did I not mention classic Looney Tunes. Before we had cable I was really into the classics.


  • My cat never jumped on furniture, even when I tried to coax her with wet food and treats. She just wouldn’t. I even took her to the vet to check on her back legs. She just doesn’t want to get on the furniture, and that never changed.

    Except for one incident two years later. I was doing food prep for the week, and she jumped on the counter, walked up and stepped in my avocado. Still no idea what prompted it.




  • Not great. Depression taking its toll on my relationships but I really don’t trust the only therapist I was able to get through work. I don’t think she’s going to be much help.

    I’m also super sick, my throat is white with infection, and customers still keep making fun of me or yelling at me for wearing a mask in 2025. I’m starting to think I’m the stupid one for assuming it could be contagious.

    I’m sorry, but 2025 is gonna suck.



  • I mean I hate living because the world is a shitshow and everything I do is based on the suffering of others. I can’t eat fruit without thinking about how it was probably grown by slaves. On the flip side, other people are prospering because of my (obviously much lesser) suffering. Thanks for hoarding all the meds and houses, asshole.

    But also I think formative years play a huge part in things. I don’t want to go into detail, but I was born into an unhappy situation, and I never got to go to school or anything so I was in that situation 24/7. Most of the few people I knew growing up couldn’t stand me, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that now I can’t connect with people. I think some of us, the part of our brain responsible for happiness, or at least responsible for the things that make us happy, never really develops.