Hey man, I am 33 and I feel like I wasted lots of years not being social, during Uni for example, not living my life enough due to pow confidence and social anxiety, now my friends have their kids, married for a while etc, while I do have my career at a good place I can relate to your feelings.

First of all, stop comparing yourself to others, nothing ever good comes out of that, you can look at them for motivation, ask them for advice how to achieve something, but stop comparing yourself, everyone goes at their own pace.

I also had terrible anxiety during Uni, leaving everything to last minute, major anxiety during finals, barely got through it, but do you know what we call medical students who finish last in their class? Doctor. University is nothing, you know basically nothing after finish it, for most things it makes 0 difference whether you finish it with a B+ average or a D-, no one has ever asked me what grades I got in Uni (though I am in software development so YMMV).

Second of all have you considered not finishing Uni at all? Plenty of well paying jobs out there, something that might even make you happy. Trade jobs. Don’t fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy of having finish something because you already invested so much time and effort into it.

And lastly, get in touch with a professional, whatever you are going through is temporary, life is awesome, but short, focus on the positives, don’t waste it worrying about meaningless shit like degrees and status and how others are doing, you do you mate.

I don’t have any real advice, other than to try to see a psych if you can (it takes a lot of the burden off if you get medicated and therapy - not all, but a lot) but I wanted to let you know you aren’t alone here. I spent my 20s in much the same way - spending… more time than I care to admit getting mediocre grades in college and fighting my mental health every step of the way. Always felt like a failure, like I wasted my potential. Hell, I still feel that.

Spent most of my 20s living with my grandparents and loathing myself. Didn’t get out until the tail-end of my 20s, and even that was half-luck. Getting out… helped. I still struggled with depression and suicide, but a lot of self-recrimination ended once I had some manner of independence. And hell, I never held down a steady job through all of my 20s. You aren’t alone. It’s not some exceptional failing of you or your character. And it’s not hopeless. I hope (ha) that doesn’t sound too patronizing. It’s hard to tack between acknowledging the seriousness of your issue and your struggle while trying to emphasize that triumph is still possible.

Guess all I can really say is, as a survivor of multiple suicide attempts, suicide is… not as appealing as it might first seem in the heat of the moment.

Don’t waste any more years; but stick around: you might be needed some time.

I presume your parents still love you. If so, don’t make them sad.

I didn’t even start uni until I was 27. Now I’m 42 and can say that I have no regrets about going, even though I was older than a fair amount of my classmates.

You will always regret not going. You will never regret attending.

Whenever you decide to, that will be the right time.

If it makes you feel any better, I have a degree in journalism and I graduated in 2008.

I’ve never used it. 4 years of college and tens of thousands down the drain for no discernible reason, only to graduate in the worst recession in a century and subsequently never getting hired in my field.

To add insult to injury, the few peers I know who did “make it” are working terrible hours, weekends, … and they make peanuts. So maybe my failing was a blessing in disguise? It might be the same way for you.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. A therapist can help with that if you feel up to it.

My dad went to several schools and dropped out of them after high school. It took 8 years in the military and meeting my mom, who encouraged him, for him to graduate. He ended up graduating from an Ivy league school with a degree in chemical engineering. He was 34 when he graduated, and had a kid the same year.

It is possible if it is something you want. Medication for your ADHD and depression can help. Talk to your doctor and don’t get discouraged if the first thing you try isn’t the right fit. Finding the right meds at the right dosage can take some time. If you want to go back to school, look into what is available for students with disabilities. You may need to get some testing done, depending on policies, to get some extra help at school. Where I live I qualified for extra time and a separate room free from distractions to take tests.

Motivation is hard when you are depressed, and ADHD just makes it even harder. It sucks, and it will be a struggle, but you can do it. Don’t forget to breathe. 💙

I understand you, it’s hard to tolerate your own brain not wanting to give you the motivation you think you need.

In my case, it helps to write down everything I need to do to accomplish my goal in individual simple tasks and then focusing in the ONE SIMPLE IMMEDIATE THING I need to do in order to do the next one.

Please don’t push you too hard, we live in difficult times and struggling is normal, I believe the conditions will improve in the near future.

I also felt bad about it for a while. I’m a scientist by heart, 100 %, and I knew I had the intellect to get a degree. I thought the reason why I didn’t anyway was because I was also some kind of assclown.

Fortunately, my degree attempt coincided with a useful obsession, for a change: My old programming hobby. The obsession ended like all the others, but the knowledge that stuck from going 14 hours per day was enough to get food on the table for decades to come.

It’s just now that I realise I never was an assclown, and I never “decided” to quit my degree. It was ADHD, and I never stood a chance, not with “discipline” or just “deciding” alone. Knowing it, with treatment plus self-acquired methods & tricks, it would have been an option back then, and maybe I’ll go for it again, if time allows.

Pushing yourself is good, but it needs to be a “relative” push based on your ability. Could be 5 hours of hard studying / cleaning / whatever for some. For others, or the same person on a different day, getting one bag of garbage and filling it, or studying 25 minutes is already the best.

Your post is a good start to collect ideas for moving forward, at your own pace. It won’t be easy, but your situation is objectively not as bad as it feels to you. Maybe it can be a small step towards improving your condition?

Drag your ass to technical or telecoms school. Learn these systems or become a tradesman. Electricians make bank.