• Larry@lemmy.world
    0·
    3 months ago

    If you’re still looking for good men at 35 you’re also single for a reason

    • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
      0·
      3 months ago

      Not necessarily. If she was an anxious attached style she’d be more likely to fall for avoidant men. She could either:

      1. Now recognize the red flags of avoidants and not subject herself to that.
      2. Be unaware of the red flags of avoidants and keep making the same mistake
      3. Recently left a long term relationship as an secure individual and discover how many avoidants really exist.

      Of course you are right, she could be avoidant to, in which case hopefully she’ll learn sooner rather than later that fearing intimacy and vulnerability is detrimental, and that healthy codependency is actually a thing. But it’s not easy for them to do so.

      I don’t like to think that everyone is incapable of finding someone, people just need to figure out why. Pointing out “single for a reason” seems counterproductive and a bit disrespectful.

      • Cypher@lemmy.world
        0·
        3 months ago

        Sorry you’re so incurably single you’ve latched onto dating advice thats as accurate as horoscopes.

        Like I hope it gets better for you but… yikes.

            • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
              0·
              3 months ago

              Ok, I’m confused - can you quote the lines that werr dating advice? In no case was I advising anyone do anything, I was sharing the information I have learned on attachment theory. Providing possible insight. That’s not advice, that’s processing thought.

              • Cypher@lemmy.world
                0·
                3 months ago

                Not necessarily. If she was an anxious gemini she’d be more likely to fall for leo men. She could either:

                1. Now recognize the red flags of scorpio and not subject herself to that.
                2. Be unaware of the red flags of cancer and keep making the same mistake
                3. Recently left a long term relationship as an secure individual and discover how many gemini really exist.

                Of course you are right, she could be gemni, in which case hopefully she’ll learn sooner rather than later that fearing intimacy and vulnerability is detrimental, and that healthy codependency is actually a thing. But it’s not easy for them to do so.

                I don’t like to think that everyone is incapable of finding someone, people just need to figure out why. Pointing out “single for a reason” seems counterproductive and a bit disrespectful.