I sort of have the opposite issue. My mother, who has always been very welcoming to my gay friends and my brother’s gay friends (the best men at our weddings were both gay and she seemed to be cool with them the entire time) has given me little subtle signals over the years that she doesn’t like it that my daughter is queer.
And recently she told me that if my daughter just goes into the closet she’s never been in and “obeys the rules” she will be fine. That was before the election. Today she found out that we’re taking advantage of my dual citizenship and emigrating to the UK. She’s really pissed off about it. She’s said some incredibly stupid and offensive things in the emails we had back and forth, not just about living in the UK, but about the U.S.:
I know several lesbians, including [HOUSEMATE’S DAUGHTER]. None are thinking of moving out of the US at this point. We are having Thanksgiving here with some of [HOUSEMATE’S DAUGHTER]'s gay and lesbian friends. [MY DAUGHTER] is welcome to come. They are all successful people with good jobs and doing well. None are scared of Trump because of their sexual orientation. (They may well be scared for other reasons.)
I think it is too early to emigrate before seeing what will happen. By the time anyone gets around to going after gay people, after the 11 million migrants, [MY DAUGHTER] will probably be 18.
Transgender minors are in trouble. But before gay people are, watch for laws repealing gay marriage. That’s when to get scared, maybe. But herding millions into conversion therapy would be quite a job.
This was my favorite part though:
Also, Europe and the UK are having problems with antisemitism (not to mention anti-gay bias.). How will you prepare [MY DAUGHTER] for that? And yourself? And what if England turns fascist, like other European countries?
Like… mom, we’ve been dealing with antisemitism here in Indiana my whole fucking life. The temple got firebombed when I was a kid, remember? Remember Charlottesville and the “Jews will not replace us” chants? All the times antisemitic literature got distributed around town and no one got caught doing it? Fuck, you remember Benjamin Smith who came into town looking for Jews but settled for a poor Korean student?
And what if England turns fascist? Where do you think you’re living? What do you think just happened?
I’ve gotta say, as a queer person one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned was actually from the Jewish community: have a plan to leave before you think you need it. You don’t need to run immediately, but make it so you can when you do need to. Two years ago when I saw the Nazis marching more and more I got a passport just in case and packed a few days of non perishable food in a backpack, it’s not much and the passport has come in handy a few times between having my drivers license stolen and having a surprise international business trip. And the food is a good idea in case of natural disaster. The biggest thing is you don’t want to be waiting in a long line regretting not having done something with little opportunity cost sooner.
I have no idea where she is coming from on this. As a Jewish person she should know better. And not just as a Jewish person, as a Jewish person married to a man who’s mother (for some reason) took him along with her to Nazi Germany in the 1930s to get her mother-in-law out by sheer force of will. They had to sew her valuables like jewelry that weren’t seized into her coat to get her out with something she could sell.
She knows all this but she still thinks you can just keep your head down and they’ll leave you alone.
I sort of have the opposite issue. My mother, who has always been very welcoming to my gay friends and my brother’s gay friends (the best men at our weddings were both gay and she seemed to be cool with them the entire time) has given me little subtle signals over the years that she doesn’t like it that my daughter is queer.
And recently she told me that if my daughter just goes into the closet she’s never been in and “obeys the rules” she will be fine. That was before the election. Today she found out that we’re taking advantage of my dual citizenship and emigrating to the UK. She’s really pissed off about it. She’s said some incredibly stupid and offensive things in the emails we had back and forth, not just about living in the UK, but about the U.S.:
This was my favorite part though:
Like… mom, we’ve been dealing with antisemitism here in Indiana my whole fucking life. The temple got firebombed when I was a kid, remember? Remember Charlottesville and the “Jews will not replace us” chants? All the times antisemitic literature got distributed around town and no one got caught doing it? Fuck, you remember Benjamin Smith who came into town looking for Jews but settled for a poor Korean student?
And what if England turns fascist? Where do you think you’re living? What do you think just happened?
I’ve gotta say, as a queer person one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned was actually from the Jewish community: have a plan to leave before you think you need it. You don’t need to run immediately, but make it so you can when you do need to. Two years ago when I saw the Nazis marching more and more I got a passport just in case and packed a few days of non perishable food in a backpack, it’s not much and the passport has come in handy a few times between having my drivers license stolen and having a surprise international business trip. And the food is a good idea in case of natural disaster. The biggest thing is you don’t want to be waiting in a long line regretting not having done something with little opportunity cost sooner.
I have no idea where she is coming from on this. As a Jewish person she should know better. And not just as a Jewish person, as a Jewish person married to a man who’s mother (for some reason) took him along with her to Nazi Germany in the 1930s to get her mother-in-law out by sheer force of will. They had to sew her valuables like jewelry that weren’t seized into her coat to get her out with something she could sell.
She knows all this but she still thinks you can just keep your head down and they’ll leave you alone.