Asking with curiosity and respect, for those in the “keeping my name” camp -
You were given your name by your parents, and most often the surname is the father’s surname.
Most of you adopt nicknames or pet names which change over time (what your family calls you vs your friends vs your colleagues)
Why is it a really big deal to you? Is it being asked / expected to change your name by a societal norm / being told what to do? Or the effort involved in changing it?
Source - male, changed my surname when I moved internationally, married, and wife’s family expected her to change her name to mine because we were starting a new family and that would be the family name.
I didn’t give a shit because my surname isn’t my family name, it’s one of my middle names, so it seemed arbitrary, and said so to both her and them.
Wife decided she would change her name and our kid has that name too. It was an absolute pain in the ass to do for her because she’s lived here for much longer than me so had more things to change, so I understand not wanting to deal with that. But years down the track - everyone seems happy - reading through these comments tho many of you view this as wrong??
Generally, women are expected to change their last name to their husband’s last name when they get married. It’s viewed as wrong because it’s needlessly patriarchal.
Asking with curiosity and respect, for those in the “keeping my name” camp -
You were given your name by your parents, and most often the surname is the father’s surname.
Most of you adopt nicknames or pet names which change over time (what your family calls you vs your friends vs your colleagues)
Why is it a really big deal to you? Is it being asked / expected to change your name by a societal norm / being told what to do? Or the effort involved in changing it?
Source - male, changed my surname when I moved internationally, married, and wife’s family expected her to change her name to mine because we were starting a new family and that would be the family name.
I didn’t give a shit because my surname isn’t my family name, it’s one of my middle names, so it seemed arbitrary, and said so to both her and them.
Wife decided she would change her name and our kid has that name too. It was an absolute pain in the ass to do for her because she’s lived here for much longer than me so had more things to change, so I understand not wanting to deal with that. But years down the track - everyone seems happy - reading through these comments tho many of you view this as wrong??
Generally, women are expected to change their last name to their husband’s last name when they get married. It’s viewed as wrong because it’s needlessly patriarchal.